


I Always Come When You Call

by deadpai



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Destiel - Freeform, Homophobia, M/M, Minor Violence, References to Suicide, almost non-con but no actual rape, model!dean, sorry about all the angst, teacher!Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-26
Updated: 2013-04-26
Packaged: 2017-12-09 13:44:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 45,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/774882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadpai/pseuds/deadpai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From high school, to college, to his career as a teacher, there has always been one constant in Castiel Collins' life: his crippling crush on Dean Winchester.  Just when Castiel thinks he's finally over it, Dean shoves his beauty right back in Castiel's face[as a model for God's sake], seemingly just because the universe wants to torture him.<br/>Little does Castiel know, however, that Dean's got quite the crush himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so, I wrote this thing AGES ago and have been hesitant to post it because I really just did it for fun...so it's...not fantastic or anything. Hopefully still a fun read though.

When Castiel Collins moved to Lawrence, Kansas with his rather enormous family, he was just about to start high school.  He wasn't nervous, or excited.  He had no expectations really. He planned to just keep to himself, study, graduate, and be done with it.

He certainly never expected for his entire world to be turned upside-down; for everything he knew or wanted to change. 

He never expected Dean Winchester.

The first time Castiel laid eyes on Dean was in the hallway between classes on his first day of freshman year.  Even though the halls were busy and crowded with students, it didn't keep Castiel from stopping in his tracks when he saw a tall boy with sandy brown hair, sparkling green eyes, a muscular build that was obvious even under several layers of clothing, and full lips that formed a panty-melting smile. 

He could swear that time slowed when Dean Winchester walked by him, like in one of those silly movies his sister made him watch with her.  His heart pounded, reverberating through his entire body as his head turned and eyes followed Dean.  If anyone had noticed Castiel's staring, his brain wasn't functioning properly enough at the moment to tell him he should care.  His eyes stayed fixed on Dean, entranced, until the boy left Cas' line of vision.  Castiel's heart rate went back to normal and his brain caught up, realizing he was late to his second class at a new school, and he scurried off.

Dean and Castiel didn't socialize during the majority of their freshman year.  Castiel was content to admire him from a distance, which he did, basically anytime Dean was around.  Whatever book Cas' head was buried in got neglected as soon as Dean's eyes, smile, and everything else were present.  Despite all the staring, Dean seemed to be completely unaware of Castiel's existence. 

Until one day little Cas made himself noticed.

He was sitting in the cafeteria in his usual spot across from his fairly popular sophomore year brother, Gabriel, when their one-sided conversation (Gabriel was quite the chatterbox) got interrupted by a fight breaking out a few tables to their left.  Some people gathered around, and everyone else turned to watch, including Castiel who turned his attention to the commotion.  To his horror, his eyes found Dean in the middle of it all, getting pounded in the face repeatedly by the fist of an older student.  Dean wasn't receiving any sort of assistance.  He was a popular guy, but he definitely wasn't on as high a rung of the social ladder as the junior year student who was pummeling him.  Dean was fighting back, but he wasn't going to win against the older and bigger student.  Castiel looked on in shock, his eyes never leaving Dean, who had eventually given up and fell to the floor.  The junior raised his arms in victory and several people cheered.  Still, no one went to Dean's aid; no one except for Castiel.

Castiel began walking toward Dean before his brain had a chance to catch up with his movement, and before he knew it he was kneeling next to the injured boy.  Dean got roughed up good: bloody nose, cut above the eye, and a busted lip.  Without a second thought, Castiel gripped Dean's left shoulder to help lift him up and back on his feet.  He slung Dean's arm around his shoulders and escorted him to the nurse's office.  Neither one of them said a word to each other.

After that day though, Dean acknowledged Castiel regularly whether it was with a nod in his direction, a small wave, a "Hey, Cas", or, Castiel’s favorite: a smile.  Those smiles became Castiel's favorite part of every day, as pathetic as he thought that to be.

 

*****

In the following years the two began to socialize more and more. 

They even had a couple of classes together, much to Castiel's delight, however detrimental to his grades, as Dean's presence was certainly a distraction.  Dean didn't even have to do anything to distract Castiel; just had to be there.

In their junior and senior year, their lockers were next to each other.  They would chat idly about random things while gathering stuff out of their lockers between classes.  Sometimes Dean's younger brother would come by and the two of them would get into these silly little debates that Dean would ask Castiel to weigh in on.  Cas would always thoughtfully consider both sides of the argument, but almost couldn't help but take Dean's.  The rewarding smiles he would receive, no matter how many times it happened, always managed to make his heart feel like it was about ready to burst.  Every now and again he would have to take Dean's brother, Sam's, side of the argument and he would relish the slap on the shoulder, the "Aw, man, come on, Cas!", and the laughter that followed. 

Castiel's later years in high school actually became pretty good.  He still didn't have much of a social life, but he did manage to make some friends, and went to a few parties here and there.  A couple of which Dean attended, and not that they really spoke while there, but something about seeing Dean outside of school was hot in a way that was beyond explanation. 

Castiel even managed to date a few guys, though that never went anywhere.  He still could never shake his feelings for Dean.  No one could compare.

Cas' crush on Dean was unrelenting and continued to grow, no matter how sure he was it would never turn into anything.  He knew Dean was straight anyway; almost always had a girlfriend.  Dean even dated a girl named Cassie for a while and Cas wasn't sure if it was some sort of sign or just complete torture that her name was so close to his own. 

However, there were times when Castiel could swear Dean was flirting with him.  He was never good at picking up on that sort of thing (much less doing it himself), but he had studied Dean about as hard as he did his own school work so when Dean was being flirtatious, he could tell.

There was the one time when their class went to the library and Dean sat next to Castiel, bothering him because he didn't feel like doing his work.

Castiel was trying so hard to focus on his assignment, but Dean was next to him poking at him with a pencil that he had just been chewing on (a favorite on the list of things he watches Dean do), making it extremely difficult for him to concentrate.

"Hey, Cas."

"Yes, Dean?"

"I been wondering...what's up with your name? Castiel.” Dean said it with a grand wave of his hand like he was conducting a ballad, using his pencil as a wand.  “What's it from I mean?"

Castiel looked at Dean, his eyes widened for a second.  He realized he never heard Dean say his full name before.

"My name is derived from the archangel Cassiel.  All of my siblings are named for angels." He divulged.

Dean nodded and smiled, taking the information in with kind of a goofy, exaggerated, pursed lip, thoughtful look on his face.

"So it totally did hurt when you fell from heaven then, huh?" Dean smirked, with an eyebrow raised and the pencil back up to his lips.  The sight almost made Castiel melt into his chair, until his brain registered the cheesiness of the pick-up line.

"Hilarious." Castiel replied blankly and turned his head back to his work, trying to play it cool though still totally blushing.

Dean laughed at his own joke, but noted, "Well I have met a couple of your brothers so...maybe the whole heaven thing ain't entirely accurate."

Cas let out a soft chuckle at that while shaking his head.  That conversation stayed with him the rest of the day, until it turned into a fantasy later of Dean using the cheesy line to actually pick Castiel up at a bar.  Just that simple, fairly innocent little fantasy became masturbatory material for him for several nights.

Another unmistakable flirtation came about when Castiel was having a pretty shitty day at school.  He had gotten a C on an exam, which _never_ happened, was called a faggot by some football douche bag in one of his classes, and to top it all off, saw Dean and his girlfriend-of-the-week making outside of her locker.

He was at his own locker between classes gathering his stuff as usual, a scowl pasted on his face, when Dean chose that inopportune time to joke with him. 

"Hey Cas, got any plans this weekend?  How bout doin’ my homework for me?"

Cas turned to him, his brows furrowed and his deep blue eyes intense, not seeing any humor in Dean's sarcastic request. Dean was taken aback by the glare piercing into his own eyes.

"Cas, not for nothin’, but the last person who looked at me like that, I got laid."

Castiel slammed his locker shut, lowered his head slightly, and stared into Dean's eyes for a second longer.  Dean responded with a wink, then Cas turned and stormed off.

This of course, once Cas got over his shitty mood, turned into another jack-off fantasy where he was the one Dean had pressed up against a locker, kissing him.

Their relationship stayed pretty much just like that for the rest of their junior and senior years.  Daily casual conversation and light flirting, all from Dean's end of course, Castiel couldn't come up with something flirty to respond with to save his damn life.  Even though the two had become friends, Dean still had this stifling effect on Castiel. 

 

*****

Castiel thought he could be satisfied with the friendship he had formed with Dean.  They didn't exactly hang out or anything, but they did become closer than Castiel ever imagined they would.  However, the closer they got to graduation, the more the thought of never seeing the object of his affections again burned in his chest something awful.

He had to do _something._

His younger sister Anna was all caught up in the tragic non-romance of her big brother and Dean Winchester.  She was the only one who really knew about Castiel's leviathan sized crush.  Even though he had no real plans to do anything about it, his feelings sometimes became so intense that he had to vent to her about it.  Anna would always tell him "You have to say something to him, Cas! Man up! You never know until you try!" But he would just kinda blow her off and mumble, "I'll get over it."

Anna didn't believe that for a second of course.  It wasn't at all true.

The Monday of their last week in high school, Castiel was invited to a graduation party for all the seniors.  One of the rich students in his class was throwing it at her huge house.  Cas RSVP'd with a resounding 'yes' of course, as he wouldn't pass up an opportunity to spend time outside of school with Dean.  He wanted to get in all the Dean time he could before he never saw those eyes, lips, and that smile again.

Thoughts of the party made Cas grow more and more anxious. 

 _"Fuck."_ he kept thinking to himself, scolding himself internally, trying to muster up the confidence to do something with Dean.  Anything.

He couldn’t let this chance slip away.  Then, it was decided.  He was gonna hook up with Dean Winchester at that party if it fucking killed him.  Unless that thought alone did him in first...

Throughout the week he began planning his moves.  He thought of a million different scenarios and ways to get Dean alone in them.  He even went to his sister and asked her to help him pick out something to wear to the party.

He burst into her bed room.

“Anna. Help me be sexy.”

“Um...what?!” Anna asked, in wide-eyed confusion.

“I need to look good for the party on Friday! I have no idea what to wear...” Castiel looked down, embarrassed as the sentence left him.  God, he was being such a girl, but this was important. He needed to feel as confident as possible.

“Oh. Oh!! Are you finally gonna make a move on Dean?!” She jumped up and smiled wide as Cas began to blush, unable to look up at her and respond.  She immediately dragged him out shopping.

 

*****

Conversations with Dean that week went as normal, though Castiel couldn’t help but feel a bit strange with the “hey I’ve been spending my week planning to have sex with you” thoughts in the back of his mind as they spoke. 

It got especially bad when Dean actually brought up the party on Friday at school.

“You’re going to the thing tonight, right, Cas?”

“Oh, yes.  Yes, I’m going.” Cas replied, a little too anxiously.

Fortunately Dean was too used to Castiel’s awkwardness to react to it at this point.

“Cool.”  Dean said as he shut his locker up, flashing him a smile.  “I’ll see ya there then.”

Castiel sputtered out a response as Dean walked off “Sec-see ya.” Shit, really? Did he really just almost say ‘sex ya’? Castiel rubbed a hand down his face in exasperation, and then closed his locker with his head.  He pounded it on the locker door a few times for good measure.  

Castiel had gotten to the party early that night, or so he thought.  He wanted to make sure he was there before Dean, so he could see him enter and begin to calculate his moves.  The party was already in full swing when he arrived, though fortunately Dean still wasn't there.

When Dean did arrive, it was another slow motion moment that made Castiel choke on the beer he was drinking.  He was _not_ prepared for how fucking sexy Dean looked.  As the door opened, the setting sun beamed behind him as if it were radiating off his body.  He wasn’t even dressed up or anything, but _God_.  He was without his usual layers and just in a fitted grey t-shirt and jeans, that weren’t too tight, but still hugged him in all the right places.  Dean didn’t see Cas through the crowd, thank God, because Cas’ jaw was dropped and his drink was tipped over in his hand, spilling onto the floor.  Dean was greeted by some friends and taken out of Castiel’s sight, giving his brain time to realize he had poured a good amount of his beer on the floor. Cas grabbed a ton of napkins and wiped it up. 

He went to the bathroom for a bit to collect himself, and go over his plan in his head.  He looked himself in the mirror, rolled his shoulders and stretched his neck, regained his confidence and went back out into the party. 

Time went by, and Castiel was enjoying himself while talking to his friends, though he never lost track of where Dean was.  The thought of what he was really there for kept nagging at him in the back of his head until he received a text from Anna saying “If you haven’t talked to Dean yet do it NOW” as if it had been her telepathically nagging him the whole time and he just couldn’t take it anymore. 

All the plans he made completely left his brain and he just marched over to Dean, determined.

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean whirled around with a look of shock on his face, and a bottle of whiskey in his hand.  The shock turned into a smile and he said “Cas! How bout a drink?”

Before Dean had a chance to find a cup, Castiel grabbed the bottle from his hand and took a swig.  He let his lips linger on the spout for a second, looking up at Dean as he did it.

Dean’s eyes and smile grew wider. “Whoa, alright!” he cheered with a laugh.

Castiel handed the bottle back to him, and as Dean took it he looked Cas up and down. He was pretty confident in what he chose to wear to the party, or rather what Anna chose for him:  A somewhat tight, black, button up shirt with the first two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows showing off the decently toned, however a bit scrawny, arms he usually kept covered in the overcoat he wore every day.  He also was wearing an entirely too expensive pair of jeans that Anna convinced him could be categorized as ‘fuck me’ jeans.  Cas wasn’t sure what that meant, but he knew that they felt a lot tighter on his ass than any other pair of pants he ever owned.

Cas noticed Dean checking him out for sure, but forced himself to keep confident. He tried his hardest to recreate the look he gave Dean that day he was pissed, but he added a bit of a cocky smile to the glare. 

Castiel looked up at Dean with his head tilted, then straightened it out as he said “We need to talk, Dean.”  He tilted his head down a bit, eyes still burning into Dean's. “Alone.”

He turned around and began walking upstairs, Dean following close behind him. He kept his ‘I can’t believe this is happening’ thoughts deep down inside him so his confidence wouldn’t falter.

He walked into the first empty bedroom he found and Dean was right there with him, albeit looking a bit confused.

Castiel looked around the room and found a sizeable closet.  He heard Dean say “What’s up?” but he didn’t respond.  Instead, he opened up the closet, grabbed Dean's arms and shoved him in making the whiskey slosh around wildly in the bottle Dean was still holding, and closed the doors behind them. 

“Cas, what’s...” Dean quirked his eyebrows and looked down at Cas, who was beginning to pant.

“ _Screw it.”_ he thought.  Actually having sex with him was a pipe dream, but he knew there was at least one thing they could do that Dean wouldn’t say no to.

Castiel began to rub his right hand over Dean’s crotch.  Dean jerked a little bit, surprised, and said “Cas, I’m not...I mean, you know I’m not gay, right?”

“You don’t have to be gay to get your dick sucked.” Cas retorted in a serious growl. He didn’t care, this was happening.  Dean might not be gay, but he flirted with Cas enough to where there was no way he was completely straight.  The world couldn't be _that_ unfair.  Even if the flirting was done jokingly, the way Dean looked him over downstairs was enough to convince Cas of that.

Castiel kept on rubbing as he heard Dean’s breath start to quicken and felt the cock beneath his hand start to get a little stiff. Cas dropped to his knees and mouthed at the bulge in Dean’s jeans, kissing it with parted lips and puffing hot breath onto it moistening the area.

“You gonna suck me or what, then?” Dean's voice was a gruff whisper. 

Castiel froze for a second at that, the words burning into his skull and striking down through his body like lightning, forcing him into action. He unbuckled, unbuttoned, unzipped, and lowered Dean’s jeans and underwear until the hard-on to end all hard-ons was staring him right in the face. 

He was looking straight at _Dean Winchester’s cock._ This was really happening.

Castiel looked up into Dean's green eyes that were sparkling more than he’d ever seen.  His gaze traveled down to Dean’s pouting lips, that were slightly parted and panting, then down to see that his chest was heaving, and his fists were clenched at his sides.  He had set the whiskey bottle down on a small chest of drawers next to him.

Castiel flushed when the thought that he made Dean like this entered his mind. He clutched at Dean’s thighs, leaned forward and placed a kiss to the head of the beautiful fucking cock in front of him.  The soft kiss elicited an “mmf” from Dean and it was the best sound that ever graced Castiel’s ears. The sound was like a command, a button that had been pressed that got Castiel to swallow Dean’s cock down whole.  He sucked as hard as he could, and licked all the right places.

Hours of research had gone into this blowjob.  Castiel looked up tips on the internet, even watched some porn, which he wasn’t particularly fond of because the plotlines made him feel a bit confused, but he wanted to see the best techniques. He’d given head before, but this time had to be different.  It had to be fucking great.  It had to be the best Dean’s ever had, and ever will have.

It was sounding like his studies were paying off.  He felt two hands on the back of his head gripping tufts of his hair.  Dean was moaning and grunting.

“Fucking...unn...fuck, Cas...”

Anytime Dean managed to say Castiel’s name between his gasps, Cas moaned onto his dick with a slight smile, which just increased Dean’s pleasure. 

This was all too surreal. 

His brain caught up with the moment for a second to let Cas know that he was clinging on to Dean’s thighs for dear life, and his fingers might be bruising them.  He didn’t want any part of this to be painful for Dean in any way, so he released his grip and rubbed up and down Dean’s bare legs, and ran his hands back around to cup his ass for a moment. Oh my god, Dean’s ass.

Apparently Dean appreciated the feel too, as it made him buck his hips forward with another beautiful moan and call of Cas’ name. Cas brought a hand back around to feel Dean’s balls.  He was close. Cas was sucking hard, caressing Dean’s balls and ass all at once and the moans heard above him became more and more urgent.

“Cas I’m...oh, fuck!” Dean gasped out as he came into Castiel’s mouth. 

Castiel swallowed, pumping Dean’s dick a few more times through the orgasm, wanting to taste everything for as long as he could until this was all over. 

Dean lowered his hands from Castiel’s head, brushed his knuckles across Cas’ shoulders, and then let them dangle limp at his sides. Castiel released him and Dean leaned back against the locked closet door. 

The sounds of the party started to enter Castiel’s ears again.  He had been completely tuned into Dean’s sounds, and only Dean’s sounds before. 

He pulled Dean’s pants up for him, and zipped, buttoned, and buckled them back up as he stood, his legs shaking as he backed off a bit.

They stood there for a moment, in silence, Dean trying to catch his breath, but Cas knowing it would be hopeless for himself as his own hardness was aching in his pants. 

Castiel was looking at the ground, unsure of what to say now.  Dean took a swig of his whiskey and handed it over to Castiel, who took a couple gulps.

“That was...you are incredibly good at that.” Dean chuckled bashfully, and Cas did too, however looking around a bit embarrassed.  The compliment was unexpected though, and actually made him even harder.

“Wanna head back out there?” Dean asked, smiling and offering a hand like a gentleman.

“I uh...I’m gonna need a minute.” Cas was much less graceful.  “You can go ahead.”

“Oh.” Dean looked down at Cas’ crotch, eyebrows raised. “Here, lemme help you with that.”

Castiel looked up at him, stunned.

“C’mere.” Dean motioned for him to come closer. Castiel walked forward tentatively. Was this real life?

He felt an arm wrap around his shoulders pulling him closer and, uh oh, the music was starting to fade out and time was starting to slow again.

Castiel finally managed to look up into Dean’s eyes, and oh man, they were so close now.  Castiel’s concept of personal space was minimal, but even he knew that this was _that_ kind of close.  Kissing close.  He noticed Dean’s eyes flick down to look at Cas’ mouth, so his eyes did the same, looking down at Dean’s pursed lips.

The arm on his shoulders moved to place a hand on the back of his neck and push him forward into a kiss.  It was a soft, sweet kiss, but it lasted long enough to block out everything else going on around them. Dean was kissing him. Dean made the first move to kiss him.  These thoughts were whirling around his head as their lips stayed pressed together until he felt a hand around his cock, stroking it.  He hadn’t even realized Dean had undone Cas’ pants. And clearly he’d done it all one handed, which was just...hot. Like, fuckin hot.  Castiel’s breath hitched and he gasped out an “oh, God” at the idea of that into the mouth pressed against his and he felt Dean’s lips form a smile.  A Dean smile.  One of Cas’ favorite things in the world.  Cas didn’t wanna miss it, so he opened his eyes slightly and looked down at the sweet little smile on Dean’s face.  He sucked in a shaky breath, but made sure to keep their lips touching.

His eyes moved around the room and it clicked in his brain that he had his left hand pressed against the door behind Dean’s head, and his right was clutching onto some clothes hanging next to him.  He just couldn’t handle putting his hands on Dean right now.  He was worried it’d make him come immediately and he wanted to show Dean that he could last, because he damn well could.  So he pressed that door, clutched that stranger’s clothes and thrust his hips into Dean’s pumping fist, finding a good rhythm.

It was the perfect rhythm, the perfect speed, and Dean’s strong hand was holding him just right and it made Cas wonder if this was how Dean did it to himself.  He lost himself in that thought for several moments until he heard a deep, sweet voice whisper, "Castiel" into his mouth, the 'el' sound licked on his lips.   Hearing Dean breathe his name rendered Cas unable to hold on any longer and he came, jutting forward while gasping Dean’s name a few times over.  He shuddered in Dean's arms as he unloaded all over the thigh in front of him without thinking, getting Dean's pants wet.

He rested his forehead down on Dean’s shoulder and focused on catching his breath.  Dean whispered “Was that good?” raspy and hot in Cas’ ear and damn if he had even an ounce of energy left in him that question would’ve gotten him hard all over again, but alas all he could do was nod in response.

Dean rubbed Castiel’s back as if consoling the boy and he could cry, honestly, if he could even attempt to let the reality of what just happened sink in completely.

He finally straightened himself back up and pulled his pants back on.  He looked over to Dean who was smiling and watching him. 

Cas finally noticed the stain on Dean’s pants. “Oh I...sorry about that.”

“Oh, ha, that’s okay.” Dean poured some whiskey on his hand and tried to wipe the stain off with it, but it just made the wet spot larger.  They both laughed at it.

“Oh well.” Dean said, through chuckles. Castiel blushed.

After a thick awkward silence, Dean finally said “Seems like things have quieted down out there.”

Castiel looked up at Dean, confused for a second and then, oh yeah, there are other people around them.  They’re in a house at a party where other people existed, not in some secluded mystical place in the clouds.  The sounds of the people and music outside filled his ears once again and reality started to seep its way in.

Dean and Cas both took a pull off the whiskey bottle and Dean, to Cas’ surprise, reached a hand out to take his and lead him out.

“C’mon, let’s head back out.”

As they walked back out into view at the top of the stairs, one of Dean’s friends quickly noticed him. They were still holding hands, but Dean didn’t seem to care.

“Hey, Dean! Dude, where the hell've you been? It’s keg stand time! Get down here!”

“Alright, Ash, I’m comin’!” He headed down the stairs, releasing Cas’ hand, but turning to give him a wink before he was gone completely.

Castiel didn’t move from the top of those stairs. 

He had to go over what just happened in his head.  Dean and Castiel just messed around in a closet.  Dean didn’t shove him away or call him a faggot.  He was actually sweet, he even returned the favor.  Dean was perfect.  Tonight was perfect.  Before anything else could happen to change it, or ruin it, if that were even possible, Castiel went home.

He collapsed on his bed, blissful, smiling and slightly buzzed. He fell asleep with his clothes on, thinking of soft, pursed, parted lips and lust filled sparkling green eyes. Dean.

 

*****

The graduation ceremony was the next day.  Castiel Collins and Dean Winchester were of course nowhere near close in the alphabet so they weren’t sitting together.  Cas didn’t really get to see Dean at all that day until his name was called and he went up to receive his diploma, flipping everyone off as he grabbed it from their principal. 

God, Castiel was really going to miss that man. He smiled and sighed, bittersweet.


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel went on to the state university and did very well.  He made a couple of friends, went to parties on rare occasion, but kept his focus completely on studying.  He had very few casual hook ups. Like, 3.  Never dated anyone though. 

As the semesters went by, he kind of began to fall into a pretty reclusive state without even noticing it. 

Rare visits with siblings and seeing other people studying at the library were basically the extent of his human interactions. 

There was no real reason for it; he just...couldn’t be bothered.  In the back of his mind he had an inkling it was because the light of his life was gone, but he refused to think too much about it.  No, he had to get past Dean Winchester.  He had to study, start a career, be his own man.  He thought that would get him past any lingering high school crush.  Yeah right.  Still though, he managed to push Dean away from his mind.

 

*****

Late in his last semester at university, Castiel was studying for his finals in the library in his usual secluded spot, surrounded by books, stacks of paper, and his laptop.  He sat back, stretched, rubbed his worn out eyes and decided to take a break and do some idle internet browsing.  He checked his email, his go-to news sites, even went to his Facebook that he rarely checked.  He found the social networking site stupid, but Anna and Gabriel both insisted he get one, thinking it would somehow keep him from falling off the face of the planet entirely.  If that’s how they felt like keeping in touch then, okay, he didn’t mind.

He had a few notifications and some friend requests.  He clicked on the notification thing to get the annoying red number to go away then clicked on the friend request symbol. 

The first request was from a girl in one of his classes that stared at him creepily but never said anything.  He approved it with little thought. 

The next one was from his Uncle Zachariah.  What the fuck? He has a Facebook? Weird, but okay, approve.

Then he scrolled down and when his eyes zeroed in on the 3rd name he gasped, audibly.  His hand immediately slapped onto his mouth and he looked around, embarrassed, as if anyone saw or would’ve given a shit.

Dean Winchester friend requested him.  He stared at the name for a moment.  He hadn’t thought about him in ages.  Finally Dean had left his mind, and then boom, there he was again. And oh, fucking hell, his profile picture. Castiel’s hand quivered as he moved the cursor to click on it.

Dean’s profile opened up to reveal what had to be a professional photograph.  He looked absolutely incredible. His hair was glistening, his skin glowing, his eyes were piercing through, and his lips were just...

He clicked to see the rest of his photos and saw several different albums.  One was titled “Photo Shoots”.  Dean became a model.  It made so much sense but at the same time was so unfair Castiel just shook his head and let out a nervous laugh, like he was meeting Dean for the first time or something.

He gulped and clicked on the album.  He had to see these.

Each picture was, of course, amazing.  It was like browsing through a list of different Deans to choose for your mood.  Want a winter Dean?  Here’s one of him wrapped up in a sexy black pea coat and a big scarf! Need a rugged Dean?  Here’s one with some chin scruff, in ripped clothing and covered in oil, sitting in a muscle car with his leg propped up on the dashboard!  

He clicked through all of them dying a little inside as each one was hotter than the last.

His favorite one had him positively drooling.  It was of Dean, dripping wet, in what looked like a very fancy shower, but he was still fully clothed. Sort of. He was wearing torn up jeans that were undone and resting low on his hips, and a tight, wet, grey shirt that made Castiel flash back to the night of the party, except this shirt had holes in it and rode up a bit on his midriff.  You could see about an inch of hip and tummy. 

Castiel was going to need some time alone in his room with these photos.  Now.

He hastily gathered up his shit like he was running late for Jacking Off 101 and ran back to his dorm room.  He thanked his lucky fucking stars that he requested to not have a roommate when he first started there.

He opened the profile back up and clicked through them with one hand, while furiously stroking his cock with the other. Eventually his clicking hand could no longer function but to grip on to the desk to help keep Castiel standing.  He lowered his head, eyes squinted shut and thoughts of Model Dean strutted around in his mind like he had finally busted out of the prison Cas had shoved him in. 

Dean was back in his mind in full fucking force and Castiel was totally screwed.

“Dean.” He dragged out, deep and gravelly, as he came.

After being collapsed on his bed, totally spent, for a while, Castiel shot up when he realized he didn’t actually approve the friend request.  He corrected that mistake but quick.

Castiel found himself breaking from his studies to check Facebook more often, and hating himself for it.  He never did anything on it but stalk Dean’s page which didn’t get updated much.  Dean's friends had posted a lot of comments on his page that were all left without response.  Cas got a shameful amount of joy at that.

On the modeling photos, a few comments were made from friends either supporting him, teasing him, or hitting on him.  Castiel rolled his eyes, but kind of smiled because Dean never responded to any of those either.

He eventually looked through the other albums in Dean’s collection.  They were mostly ones Dean had been tagged in.  There were pictures of him with friends, some with his brother Sam, and some random pictures that didn’t even have him in it so what the hell were they doing getting in Cas’ way, and then of course, there were extremely hot ones of just Dean being himself.

There was one in particular that made Castiel feel warm all over.  It was of Dean sitting at a table at what looked like a bar, smiling a huge happy smile that reached his eyes, showing wonderful laugh lines.  His chin was scruffy and his eyes were bright and happy, and he was holding a beer, tipping it at the camera.  There was just something about it that Castiel absolutely adored.  He just looked so grown up and happy and exactly like how Dean should look right now. 

Castiel didn’t know what Dean had gone on to do after high school, but he was always curious. He was glad to see that Dean seemed to be successful, even if the results of that success continually tortured Castiel’s dick. 

_Sigh._

*****

Castiel passed all his finals with flying colors, despite Dean becoming a distraction again, and graduated.  His family was proud, he was proud, happy, and looking forward to starting his first job as a teacher at a community college in Topeka.

He would be teaching Religious History which, growing up in a large family all named after angels, was obviously _his subject_.


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel’s first semester teaching went quite well.  He was confident, his students respected him, and he was focused.  And busy.  Much too busy to bother with Facebook and choose-your-own-Dean pictures.

He even managed to regain a bit of a social life.  He went out with other teachers at the school to drink sometimes.  He listened to them complain about their students and their superiors, but didn’t join in.  Maybe it was just because he was new and not jaded like his coworkers, but he liked his students and felt no need to bitch about them.

 

*****

When the summer break between semesters rolled around, he found himself with little to do but work on his classes for next semester, and read books he'd already read a hundred times.

His brother Gabriel came to visit him and told him all about his escapades and sexcapades around the world, but when Gabriel inquired about Cas’, the younger of the two had nothing to offer.

“Little bro, seriously. Go get laid. I demand it.”

“Gabriel, there’s no need for me to-”

“Yeah there is.  If you don’t do it for too long you’ll forget how.  And your dick’ll fall right off.” He made his pointer finger droop and did a cartoony 'beeeooop' sound.

“That will not happen.”

“Maybe not literally, but if you don’t use it you metaphorically _will lose it.”_

Castiel let out an annoyed sigh and shook his head.  Gabriel rarely ever made any sense to him, but he did know that his intentions were basically always good.

A few weeks later his sister Anna called and also inquired about his love life, taking a more innocent approach of course.  Castiel still had no news to offer.

“Cas, there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to go out and have meaningless sex, but you really should get out and meet some people.  Just have fun! You don’t wanna waste the awesome break from work you get between semesters.  Like, no other job gets summer breaks.  Think about that.”

She had a point, he supposed.  It wouldn’t be much longer until he was back into the daily grind, creating tests, grading them, reading essay after essay and deciphering shitty grammar. Yeah, maybe he should go out for a few drinks before all that starts back up again.

He went out that Saturday night by himself to the bar he usually went to with his coworkers.  It was pretty busy, typical for a weekend night.  He waited up at the bar to order a drink and looked around the place a bit. 

Then he heard someone behind him.

“Castiel?!”

Cas whipped around and his eyes went wide in shock at the voice he just heard and who he was now seeing it belonged too.  He knew the voice, but he couldn’t believe his suspicions were correct even though there standing right in front of him wearing aviator sunglasses, a tight, dark green t-shirt and a black leather jacket adorned in shiny silver zippers and a strap around the collar was...

“Dean.” It fell hard out of his mouth.

Dean wrapped both his arms around Castiel’s shoulders and squeezed him, hugging him tight, cheek to cheek. Castiel stood there, shut his eyes for a second and clenched his fists.

“Damn, it’s good to see you!” Dean exclaimed, showing that smile and those laugh lines from the photograph on his Facebook. “Nice peach fuzz!” He tapped Cas’ cheek where he had let a bit of a beard grow out during his break from work.  He suddenly realized how wrecked he must look.  He didn’t bother with his hair or anything since he didn’t really intend on meeting anyone.

“Thank you.” He replied automatically.

Dean was still grinning and also sporting some facial hair.  His looked professionally chiseled around his jaw though.  Perfect. The way his hair was styled too...all messy brown spikes.  Cas took the image in and gulped, gazing down to the sexy jeans and shiny black boots Dean had on.

“Hey, is that the same trench coat you’ve had since high school? Man that thing’s seen better days, huh?” Dean teased while tugging at Cas’ right sleeve.

He was suddenly made aware of every single flaw in his beloved overcoat and blushed. “Oh, yes, uh...I guess I’ve grown rather attached to it.” He pulled lightly at the lapels of the coat, looking down at it, embarrassed.

“Haha, well man we gotta get you a new one of those to get attached to.”

Castiel chuckled softly, still in utter disbelief.  “Yes...”

“So, hey? How ‘bout a drink?” Dean took his shades off and turned to signal the bartender, “Hey, two over here!”

The bartender brought them two cold beers, with condensation dripping down the sides.  Dean grabbed one and clinked the neck of the bottle to Castiel’s and brought it up to his lips to take a swig.  Castiel indulged himself and watched the spout touch that mouth he missed looking at so much then eyed Dean’s throat as it bobbed up and down as he swallowed. Castiel shook himself out of his trance, picked his own beer up and downed about half of it. When he stopped and wiped his mouth, he looked to see Dean staring.  Not in a judging way, just watching.  Just like how he had watched Dean, perhaps, except Dean was wearing his classic smirk.

After that they engaged in lighthearted conversation and caught up on each other’s lives.  Apparently Dean had moved out to LA for a few years to model, but was back in Kansas visiting his brother and planned to stay in Topeka and find modeling work here, or travel for it if need be.  Castiel listened intently to Dean's stories of being out in Hollywood.  It seemed like Dean had enjoyed his time there so Castiel asked why he was moving back to Kansas, Dean replied with "Well, you know...there's no place like home, right?" The reference was completely lost on Castiel, classic and fitting as it was. A waste.

Even though this was all very surreal and that thing happened again where everything else but Dean's body and voice faded into nothingness, he managed to keep from being overwhelmed by what was happening and had a great night.  He needed to call his sister and thank her for convincing him to leave the house.  And his brother too, he guessed.

Dean’s phone started ringing and he had to pause the conversation to step out and take the call. He said it was a work thing.  As Dean walked out, Castiel’s mind flashed to those modeling photos and lingered there for a bit until he realized he was shooting daggers at the person across from him.  He shook himself out of yet another Dean induced trance and took a drink of his beer.  He thought back on the conversation they were having and hoped he didn’t come off as creepy when they spoke about Dean’s modeling career.  He kept all compliments to how happy he was for Dean's success and avoided saying anything that implied that he, you know, jerked it to the photos about a hundred times.

Dean came back looking a bit bummed.

“Hey, Cas, I gotta head out. Got a shoot booked out in Miami that got rescheduled to tomorrow and...uh, well, anyway, I better head home.”  His disappointed look turned into a smile when he went on to say, “But it was great seeing you man, really.”

“Yes, you too.” _Understatement._

Dean started to walk backwards towards the exit and waved, bumping into someone.  He apologized and shook his head, looking down and laughing at himself, then peered up at Castiel.  It was so awkward and so fucking endearing that it made Castiel go all warm and his mouth stretched into a huge grin. He bit down on his lip to stifle it unsuccessfully.

“Goodbye, Dean.”

He watched Dean leave. Time slowed. 

The world went back to working as normal after Dean exited.  Castiel attempted to pay for his tab, but was rebuffed by the bartender who told him that his friend paid for all his drinks.  Castiel smiled and blushed, embarrassed, flattered, and excited all at once. 

 

*****

There were only about two weeks left until summer break was over, but Castiel was ready to go back.  He had gone back to that bar a couple times, but Dean never showed up again and he certainly never found anyone that even came close to holding his interest long enough to distract him from Dean, so he never stuck around long.  He just puttered around his apartment for the most part and went over his class materials making sure he was completely prepared for the start of the new semester.

One night he was putting the finishing touches on his syllabus, finally feeling it was perfect after having edited it about 20 times over the course of the break, and decided to fart around on the internet for a spell before heading off to bed. 

He eventually went to Facebook, cleared out the red numbers and watched some bizarre video Gabriel had posted on his page of a goat screaming like a person.  He shook his head and sighed, rubbing his eyes.  When he looked back at the page, an IM window had popped up. It was a message from Dean.

“Oh my God.” Castiel clapped his hand to his mouth embarrassed at what he just said, then embarrassed yet again about covering his mouth even though there was no one around.

The message from Dean read:

_Hey Cas_

After being frozen for a minute, Castiel mustered up a truly eloquent response.

_Hello, Dean._

_Just wanted to tell you I signed up for classes at TCC for this semester_

Castiel’s eyes went wide in disbelief.  Dean was going to be attending the college where he teaches, Topeka Community College. His hands were hovering over home row waiting with baited breath as the chat window informed him that Dean was typing another message.

_So I’ll be seein ya up there, right?_

He stretched his fingers in and out before he typed a response.

_That’s great. Yes, I’ll see you there._

_Awesome.  Well I gotta get goin.  Talk to ya soon Cas._

_Goodnight, Dean._

Castiel stared at the screen for several minutes, utter disbelief overcoming him.  A million questions were swimming in his mind. 

Why did he want to go back to school?

Wasn’t Dean pretty successful?

What could he be majoring in?

Would he actually see Dean there?

...Is Dean seeing someone currently?

He washed that last question out of his mind.  He didn’t need that thought ruining his high. There was a chance he’ll be seeing Dean regularly again.  He didn’t want any thought ruining such an amazing one.

He got ready for bed and lied down, staring up at the ceiling, thinking about Dean like he used to every night in high school.

His thoughts drifted into a fantasy of Dean walking into Castiel’s classroom, in slow motion, as he seems to have that super power, strolling right up to Castiel and taking him in his arms, slowly and gently. He kisses Castiel deeply, passionately and runs his hands through Cas’ hair. Castiel clutches onto Dean’s shoulders and tilts his head into the kiss, and it starts to get a bit more fierce.  Their hands are rubbing each other everywhere and their mouths are making obscene, wet noises.

“Dean.” Castiel gasps, in the fantasy and in real life as he strokes himself.

This was...probably not gonna be good.


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel returned to work on Monday morning, the first day of the semester, clean shaven, hair styled, dressed in a black suit, white button up, and a blue tie that always took him several tries to tie correctly despite the number of years he owned the thing.  He also had his trusty old trench coat with him, not wearing it, but keeping it along with him just in case. 

That first day back of Castiel's second ever semester of teaching went swimmingly.  His classes were all fairly small, about 30 students in each.  The majority of the students in his classes that day were attentive and paid him the respect he commanded.  Although this first day he only told the class what they would be going over for the duration of the semester and the supplies they would need, his students asked him lots of questions and seemed genuinely interested.  It was a real confidence boost. 

He didn't see Dean that day, and was a bit relieved.  He wanted to get past that first day with his nerves remaining unshaken.  

Bright and early the following day, Castiel walked into his class room and placed his trench coat over the seat at his desk.  He opened up his briefcase and began gathering the syllabi and other handouts he had for his Tuesday/Thursday set of students.  He was looking down, concentrated on organizing the papers on the desk as students began to walk in when he heard a knock on the desk.  He glanced up to see his favorite smile and bright green eyes looking at him.

"Sup, teach?" He greeted Castiel with a grin and headed to a desk at the very front and center.

Dean was taking his class? What could he need a Religious History class for?  From what he knew of Dean he seemed like more of a take-the-basic-courses-and-get-it-over-with kind of guy.  Was he going to major in psychology or something along those lines? 

And why in God's green goodness did he _have_ to sit in the front row like that...

Castiel just stared at Dean, unable to form a response. Dean had rendered him completely astounded once again.  No, he couldn't allow himself to be taken off guard.  This was _his_ place of work; his territory.  He was going to show Dean he was confident, capable, and knew what he was doing.  He was the teacher and authority figure in this setting.  He wasn't the same awkward little teenager from high school.

Castiel nodded at Dean and gave him a soft smile as the rest of the students started trickling in.

"Hello, all. My name is Castiel Collins and welcome to Religious History 1301.  Today we're simply going to go over the syllabus, the supplies you'll need, and the books you'll need to purchase as well."

Castiel went on to pass out the syllabus packets making sure to give Dean a confident smile when he got to his desk.  He went down the list of everything in the packet and his students listened intently.  He noticed out of the corner of his eye that Dean was being particularly attentive.  Castiel walked back and forth from the left to the right of the front of the class room talking while Dean's gaze travelled along with him.  Dean was holding the packet with both hands, not really reading it, but choosing instead to listen carefully to his teacher's every word. 

Castiel met Dean's eyes a few times, but refused to linger there, difficult as that was what with Dean's now smooth, clean shaven face and the layered, but tight as ever clothes he had on.  Dean was special, entirely too special, but Castiel was careful to not let that seem even the tiniest bit apparent.  Castiel did, of course, notice Dean's staring though.  He couldn't recall ever once seeing Dean so attentive in any of the classes they took together back in high school.  That thought brought a smile to Castiel's face when he turned his back to the class to set the syllabus down on the desk. 

He turned back to the class to conclude his spiel.  "That will be all today, so you may go early.  On our next meeting, however, we'll begin the first chapter of your text book.  Please sign the attendance sheet at the front desk on your way out.  Thank you." 

Castiel stood behind his desk and watched the students leave.  He took this chance to watch Dean gather his things and walk over to the desk to sign the attendance sheet. When he finished, he looked up at Castiel and said with a wink while tapping his pencil on the desk, "See ya Thursday, Angel."

He walked out of the classroom leaving Castiel with his jaw dropped, eyes wide, and cheeks rosy.  There were two female students left in the classroom when Dean said this that seemed to find it amusing.  They giggled on the way out.  Castiel was mortified, but at the same time, pleased. 

He was going to be seeing Dean Winchester in his class room every Tuesday and Thursday.  Dean twice a week.  So much more than he expected. 

He couldn't stop thinking about the way Dean was watching him during the class.  It truly made him feel important.  He beamed, the happiness staying with him for the rest of the day making it go by incredibly fast. 

That Thursday morning, Dean was the first to walk into the class room.  He was about 10 minutes early. Castiel looked up from his desk and smiled, big blue eyes shining at Dean's green ones. 

"Mornin', Cas!" Dean said with a big smile that faded away rather quickly. "Oh, wait, that's Professor Collins in here, right?" There was a hint of sarcasm in the question, but he meant it.

Castiel didn't pick up on sarcasm very well, but he was more so taken off guard by the question.  He hadn't even thought of that.

"I would-er-I mean, you don't have to, but-"

Dean let out a soft laugh and waved him off, "Hey, it's no problem, _Professor_." He put a bit of flirty emphasis on that last word while quirking a brow.

Castiel looked down and shook his head, chuckling.  He walked up to the desk Dean was sitting in and placed his hands flat on either side of it.  He looked up into Dean's eyes, their faces entirely too close, and he gave him a furrow browed, intensely blue death glare.  Dean jerked his head back in shock, looked back into his teacher's eyes with his lips forming an 'o' shape.

"You should show me...some respect." Castiel’s tone was a fearsome growl and Dean looked up at him completely stunned.

Castiel stared at him for a moment longer, and then busted out laughing.  Dean began to laugh at bit as well, albeit still totally confused. 

"My attempt at humor.  Apologies." He stood back up, straightened his tie, then walked back toward his desk, wiping his eyes and still chuckling.  He had thrown Dean Winchester off guard maybe 3 times in his life and each time it was utterly fantastic.  The guy deserved it for all the times he left Castiel feeling weak in the knees.

He looked back at Dean who was shaking his head and smiling.  "You son of a bitch." He chucked his pencil at his teacher and they both laughed.

After class Dean waited for everyone to leave before approaching Castiel at the head of the classroom.  Castiel was leaning back against the front of his desk with his arms crossed and his right ankle crossed over the other. 

"Excuse me, Professor Collins?" Dean asked, putting on his most innocent voice possible.  It didn't suit him.  Castiel lips turned up slightly at the feeble attempt.

"Yes, Mr. Winchester?"

"Well, this might be wildly inappropriate, but I wanted to ask if you might wanna join me for a drink tomorrow night? I was gonna go back to that bar I saw you at a while back.  Whaddaya say?  Wanna meet me up there?"

If Castiel wore panties, they would surely be melting off right now at Dean's charming, hopeful smile as he asked him out.  Castiel did, however, sport boxer-briefs and he was quite certain they had just disintegrated.  Dean Winchester just asked him out for drinks, and as fucking monumental as this was, Castiel was _not_ going to let his confidence falter now.  He was doing so well. 

Castiel pursed his lips and looked off to the side, pretending like there was a ghost of a chance he'd turn Dean down before saying "Sure, Dean.  I can meet you there. What time?"

Dean's smile widened and his laugh lines spread.  "Awesome.  How ‘bout around 9?"

"Yes.  I'll see you then, Dean."

"Alright.  Later Cas. Uh, _Professor_ Cas, that is." Dean pointed at him as he said that last bit and walked out backwards, a little awkwardly.  If Castiel didn't know better he would say Dean almost seemed nervous. 

Castiel let out a deep sigh.  It wasn't exactly appropriate for him to date one of his students.  In fact, there probably was some sort of policy on it.  This was Dean, though, and Cas couldn't possibly keep himself from bending the rules for him.  It wasn't as if he was going to have Dean blow him for passing grades or anything.

Though...he couldn't promise that wouldn't totally turn into a jerk-off fantasy later.  Dean underneath Castiel's desk...between his legs...his head bobbing up and down as Cas' was thrown back in ecstasy...

 _"Shit, not now."_ Castiel shook himself out of the daydream as his next class started to walk in the room. 

 

*****

The first half of Friday was spent with Cas hunched over his computer desk at home grading his first essays received from his students that week.  He saved Dean's for last. 

Dean's paper was good.  There were a few grammar mistakes, but overall it very well thought out.  It made Castiel extremely happy to know that Dean was taking his class seriously and putting effort into it.  He marked through the grammar errors, corrected them, wrote a short response at the end of the essay and put a grade at the top, just as he did for the rest of his students. 

Castiel relaxed for the rest of the day making sure he didn't looked all baggy-eyed from grading for his date with Dean.  Well, Cas thought he maybe shouldn't assume it's a date.  They could just be going to hang out as friends.  He wasn't sure how many friends Dean had around here, since his brother still lived back in Lawrence.  Castiel certainly didn't have any good buddies around here as he didn't really attempt to make any, but he figured Dean had a pretty easy time making friends. 

Plus, the idea of _Dean Winchester_ asking him out on a date was just a bit too farfetched.

He was thinking about all this while lying down on the couch and staring up at the ceiling wearing his robe and underwear still, as he hadn't bothered to get dressed yet.  He dozed off for a while thinking of Dean standing in a shower, dripping wet, wearing a tattered grey shirt that clung to his body and jeans that were unbuttoned...

Castiel groggily woke up from an unplanned for nap, blinked slowly and turned to look at the clock on his desk.  It was already 6pm.

He jolted up, got some food in his stomach, then ran to shower, and got dressed.  He decided to forgo his usual business attire and even left the trench coat behind.  He picked out a black v-neck t-shirt that his brother Balthazar gave him (who had about a hundred of the things).  It fit him a bit loosely, certainly looser than anything Dean ever wore, but he thought it looked okay.  He only owned two pairs of jeans since he mostly wore slacks so he went with the newer pair of the two.

Castiel arrived at the bar and immediately regretted leaving his coat behind.  It was pretty chilly and his shirt was thin.  Certainly a lot less cloth than he was used to.  He sighed, tried to not look like he was shivering with cold (and, let's be honest, nerves) and walked inside.

Dean was already there sitting at a small table against the wall opposite of the bar.  He had two beers waiting for them at the table.  He waved to Castiel signaling him to come over.

Cas sat down across from Dean, his legs together and his hands placed upon his lap. 

"Hello, Dean."

"Cas." Dean nodded, smiled, and pushed one of the beers toward Castiel. Castiel looked at it for a second, his brain having some trouble processing everything around him. His hands clenched at his knees.

Fuck.  He was totally nervous. He looked back up to Dean to examine what he was wearing and just...sigh.

Dean was wearing a tight black and blue striped long sleeved shirt that hugged possessively at his biceps.  Castiel's eyes trailed down Dean's muscular arms and across his chest noticing how the fabric stretched across in the middle.  Cas' own arm jolted up before his brain could let him know it was happening and he grabbed the beer Dean had got for him, and took a long swig.

"Long day?" Dean asked with a quirked brow as he watched Cas' now half empty bottle get placed back down on the table.

Castiel blinked up at him for a second. Processing.  "...Yes." It wasn't at really.  He spent like 3 or 4 hours grading then slept through the afternoon having nonstop sex dreams about the man sitting across from him.

"Same here.  I was workin’ all day.” Dean said while stretching out his back and arms. “Just got off about an hour ago."

Oh. Dean had just been doing some modeling.  No wonder he seemed to look so extra sexy.

Dean seemed to be looking Cas up and down continuously.  Cas looked down and noticed Dean’s fingers were stroking his beer bottle up and down simultaneously with his eye movement, the condensation dripping down on his hands, making them glisten with moisture.  Castiel shuddered and slammed his hands back down on his lap. 

"You cold? I noticed you're without The Cas Coat."

"Y-yes, a little."  He didn't even know himself if he was actually cold or just insanely nervous.  Why was it he was so confident in the classroom but here, now, he was a shaking mess?  Was it just because it was a date?  If it even was a date.  How could it _possibly_ be a date?! Maybe that was it.  Maybe it was because he didn't know whether or not it was a date, or just his disbelief in the whole ordeal.  He debated a few different things in his mind when he noticed that Dean had stood up.  He was taking off his striped shirt.  As he lifted it up, a tiny bit of his stomach was revealed, and Castiel's eyes darted right to it.  Good God.  What, was that guy trying to give him an aneurism or something?

Dean had a white thermal shirt on underneath, so he handed the striped one to Cas. 

"Here ya go, man.  Put that on.  Might help."

Castiel stood up in front of Dean and put the shirt on.  It was warm, and smelled amazing, like's Dean's deodorant and cologne. He pulled it down on him and tried to be as casual as possible about it.  It didn't hug him nearly as tightly as it did Dean, but the look Dean was giving him seemed to suggest it still looked pretty good.

"Thank you."

"Yeah, sure." Dean chuckled softly and sat back down on the table.  Castiel followed suit then chugged down another large portion of his beer.

Dean smirked up at him, leaning forward just a bit, with his arms resting on the table.  "So, I gotta say, Cas, you've always been hot, but something about watching you teach a class is downright sexy.  Kudos." He clinked his beer to Cas' and took a drink.

Castiel's ears absorbed that sentence and his brain nearly overloaded while processing it.  He cleared his throat.

"Thank you...but, uh...if at all possible could we not talk about school?" Castiel knew it wasn't right to date a student and he just didn't want to think about it.

"Oh, right, sure. Just had to get that out."

The conversation went on to other things, like Dean's latest job, what his brother Sam was up to (he’s a practicing attorney), and Castiel's own brothers and sister. 

Though he had good relationships with most of his family members, Castiel wasn't incredibly close with any of them, so he didn't speak of them nearly the way Dean spoke about his brother Sam.  He seemed to know his little brother inside and out, and spoke about his successes with the pride of a father.  Though, there was a bit of a sadness there that Cas was curious about, but didn't want to pry.  He didn't know too terribly much about Dean's past, they were never close enough back in the day for him to ask. 

They began to reminisce about high school and all the stupid things that happened.  Dean revealed that in their junior year on Valentine’s Day, it was him that put a card in Castiel’s locker with a picture on it of a naked guy holding one of those heart boxes of chocolate over his crotch.  At the time Cas took it as an insult and was not amused, so Dean never had the balls to own up to it.

"I swear it was meant as a joke! Not like a ‘haha at you’ joke, just a ‘haha look at this naked dude’ joke!"

Cas shook his head and grinned. "Yes, Dean.  I believe you."  He said in an overly condescending tone. They laughed.

They were each about 6 beers and 2 shots in now and Cas was feeling quite a pleasant buzz.  He didn't drink much so that was a healthy amount for him. Dean seemed to be feeling it a little bit, but definitely not as much, Cas thought, that is until he brought a memory up that he was _not_ expecting.

"You remember that graduation party?" Dean just asked it outright, like it was any other memory.  Like it totally wasn't the best night of Castiel's life.  It still ranked that high, even this many years later.

"Yes, of course. I remember."  Castiel's response was immediate, though a bit slurred.  The brain to mouth processing was long gone thanks to the booze.

"You know...I don't mean to get all deep with ya here but...that night totally changed me.  I'm sure you know this, but, I hadn't been with a guy before that."

Castiel's eyes went wide for a second, but he blinked a couple times and tried to maintain his composure. 

"I know."

But he has since then?

"But you have since then?" Again, the brain to mouth thing.  Booze.  Castiel was just saying whatever came to mind at this point.  Plus...he had to know more.  This was kind of a big deal.  All these years he assumed that night was nothing more to Dean than another party where he got a BJ from some random. He never imagined it would have any effect on Dean whatsoever.

"Yeah.  Not many, but yeah.  I dunno, I just uh...felt like I should tell you that.  I was pretty insecure about any attraction I felt towards dudes during high school so...you, I dunno, just changed me.  Opened me up to how I really felt."

If only Dean had any idea what all those words were doing to Castiel right now.  What Dean had been doing to Castiel since the day they had met.  Dean completely changed Castiel as well.  One look at him back in freshman year was what made Castiel realize he was gay.  He had always felt like there was a part of himself that he didn't quite know, until he saw Dean Winchester: the man who made everything go into slow motion, made his body temperature go up to like a million degrees Kelvin, and made his heart pound through his entire body.  Everything clicked at that moment.  It took him a while to get the courage, but he came out to his family, even though he didn't have a boyfriend to bring home or anything like that.  He finally knew everything about himself all thanks to Dean, who had absolutely no clue. 

Dean Winchester's existence effected Castiel for years and years, but there was no way he had the balls (or the coherence) to say it now.

Cas looked into Dean's eyes absolutely lovingly, and smiled. 

"I'm glad to hear that, Dean.  I understand how you feel." It was all Castiel could muster as a response.  A hand was placed on his and he looked down to see it was Dean's. 

Dean squeezed it for a second and said, "Yeah, thanks.  I knew you would.  Ya know...Facebook’s, well, Facebook’s stupid, but I'm sure glad I found you on it." Dean patted Cas' hand before moving it away again, positioning his arm back to being parallel to his chest. 

After that, their conversation went back to more light hearted, easy things.  Castiel could listen to Dean talk and laugh forever.  He managed to achieve a grand laugh out of Dean that he'd never seen before where he'd fling his head back and then bend his entire upper body forward cracking up.  Cas got him to laugh like that a grand total of 4 times that night and each time felt like he was winning a trophy.  He had no idea how he earned all that laughter; he never thought himself to be a particularly funny man, but Dean certainly seemed to.  He hoped he could pinpoint exactly what it was that got Dean to laugh that hard, so he could do it all the time.

Seeing all that happiness emanating from Dean's body was the best thing in the world.  The light of Castiel's life had been switched back on again after years of his surroundings being so dim. 

Several more beers and stories later, the bar had mostly cleared out (though Castiel had been, of course, unaware of any other living soul the moment he walked in and saw Dean) and it was nearly closing time. 

"Ready to get outta here?"

"Yes." Castiel nodded in agreement with glassy wide eyes.  He was drunk. Very.

They went up to pay their tab and Castiel, date or not, insisted on contributing some money to it considering how much they just drank.  They stumbled out of the bar, Cas wobbling a bit more than Dean, who wrapped an arm around his waist to keep him somewhat steady. 

"Oh man, that was fun.  I haven't laughed like that in a long time."  Dean released his arm from Castiel and turned to stand in front of him, closely.

"Same here." Cas shoved his hands in his too-tiny pockets, looked up at who he was pretty much certain was his date by now and smiled lazily.

"You didn't drive here did ya?"

"No.  No, I took a taxi cab.  I guess I should call one now."  He tilted his head at Dean, genuinely concerned. "What about you? You're drunk too, Dean."

Dean had a laugh at that for some reason.  A ‘funny because it's true’ thing, maybe?

"Nah, I actually live nearby so I just walked."

"Oh.  Well.  I'll walk with you."  His drunk smile got a little wider and Dean looked at him pleasantly surprised. 

"Okay.  Great."

They walked with pocketed hands in silence.  It wasn't far at all, but Castiel was enjoying looking at all the different buildings as they walked by.  He didn't venture downtown very often, but when he did he always admired the architecture. 

Dean's building was quite large and looked very expensive to live in.  Dean held the front door open and guided Castiel in ahead of him with his hand placed on the small of Cas' back.  Castiel was too busy looking around the fancy, sparkling foyer to be aware of his movements.  Once they got in an elevator he started to come back down to earth ever so slightly and he realized he was going up to Dean's place.

Dean leaned against the back of the elevator with his arms propped up on the rail behind him and looked up at the numbers that lit up as they passed each floor.  Castiel was just staring at Dean, too drunk to give a shit about whether that was weird or not.  His eyes went from Dean's spikey, messy-but-with-purpose hair, to his green eyes, down to his lips and jawline that could make a Greek god jealous.  His gaze traveled down Dean's chest, arms, legs...he examined Dean’s whole body.  It was good in high school, but damn, now it was just unbelievable.  Statuesque.  The long-sleeved white thermal shirt Dean was wearing was tight enough to hint at all the musculature of his arms and torso.  Castiel was just about to drool when the elevator chimed and they arrived at the 10th floor.

They walked out and forward to the door right across from the elevator. 

"This is me."  Dean said as he put his key in the lock and opened up the door.

Suddenly Castiel realized he'd been invited to come up with Dean without even knowing it.  He stood outside the door after Dean had already entered his apartment. 

Dean turned around and waved in Castiel's face to get him to snap back to the present, "Uh, hey, you comin’ in or you just gonna hang out in the hallway for a while?"

"I, uh, I should get going, I think."  Castiel wasn't sure he was ready for this; ready to go up to Dean's place.  He was already practically there even though had hadn't received a verbal invite, but still he was hesitant. 

"C'mon, Cas, just come in for a bit?  Just to hang out?  No pressure."

He looked down at his feet, and then smiled softly before looking back into Dean's eyes.  As if he could ever say no. 

Castiel just nodded and walked in the doorway, then immediately froze in his tracks again.  Holy crap, his place was incredible.  It was huge.  All hardwood floors, plush cream colored couches and chairs, lots of shiny black and stainless steel appliances.  Just an initial gander at what he could see from his vantage point of the living room and kitchen looked like something out of an episode of Cribs (another silly thing his sister used to make him watch with her). 

"Wow."

Dean chuckled bashfully.  "Ya like it?"

"Yes, Dean.  It's...nice. Very nice."  Castiel walked forward a couple steps and looked around a bit more.  This place was damn sexy.  Sexy enough to match its inhabitant.

"Yeah, thanks.  I woulda been just fine living in a room with a couple couch cushions, but...a dude that works at my agency did me a solid and found this place for me.  Fully furnished and everything.  Which is good 'cause left up to me I'd have nothin’ but a mattress, TV and a microwave.  And a cooler of beer, probably." Dean had his hands back in his pockets as he rocked back and forth, looking around the place as Cas was.  He didn't seem quite comfortable there, which Castiel found bizarre as Dean's sexiness totally went with the place perfectly, but he also found it extremely endearing.  Castiel smiled at him. Dean was grown up, very successful, and clearly on the wealthy side, but he was still the same Dean he adored.  Dean wasn't a cocky, famous rock star or pretended to be one.  He was just Dean; sweet and simple.  Warm and friendly. 

"Have a seat," Dean gestured toward the big couch in the living room behind him. "I'll make us some coffee.  Or tea? Weren't you a tea fan?"

"Oh, yes, but either is fine. Thank you." Castiel walked with his hands behind his back down the two steps that led into the living room.  He sat down on the couch that faced a huge flat screen TV.  He couldn't make himself sit back and relax, just sat straight up with his arms on his lap and his hands on his knees, fingers interlaced.  He looked like he was waiting for a job interview or something.

He took a look around the room while waiting for Dean to make the caffeinated beverages of his choosing.  There was a big soft rug that the chairs, couch, and big glass coffee table were on top of.  The coffee table had some coasters and a couple video game controllers.  There were black shelves on the wall on either side of the giant TV that held some records, books, and a few framed pictures on them.  Castiel got up to look at them.

There were a few photos of Dean with his brother Sam, who looked a foot taller than Dean in nearly every picture save for the ones where they were very young.  There were also two pictures that looked to be of a very young Dean with his father and mother whom was holding who must've been baby Sam.  They all looked happy, but with a faint sadness behind their expressions, like the one Dean wore when they spoke of Sam at the bar earlier.  Castiel wanted to know everything about that.  He'd get the courage to ask some day, if they ever got close enough.  He hoped so hard that they would.

Dean came walking down the steps with two mugs of hot tea. 

"Hope you're a black tea fan.  This is vanilla.  That okay?" He asked handing a cup to Castiel.

"Yes, thank you, Dean." He took a sip.  Not his usual choice, but it was very good.

They went back to the couch, placing their cups on the coasters on the coffee table and Cas sat as he did before, but turned slightly to the right, angled toward Dean.  Dean was sitting sideways on the couch, turned completely to Castiel, with one leg up on the couch and an arm propped up on the back cushions.

Castiel felt a hand on his left thigh.  It began rubbing him up and down. Castiel gulped and his cock twitched.  He was about to get hard if he didn't think of something to do or say.  He didn't necessarily want the hand to leave, but he needed to be as distracted from it as he could.

A question burst out of his mouth.  "What are you planning to major in?"

Dean chuckled softly.  "I thought you didn't wanna talk about school."

"I know, but uh," he cleared his throat, "I'd still like to know."

"Okay, sure. Well...I don't really have anything specific in mind.  Just wanna have some sort of degree for like, a backup plan ya know?"

"Yes.  That's a good idea." 

"Yeah, I mean, modeling's going well and all, I can't complain, but I know I won't be doin’ it forever." Castiel could've protested that bit.  "Plus it's not super fulfilling for me.  Not my dream job or anything."

"What would be your dream job?" 

"Honestly? Man, I'd love to just...spend my time restoring old cars.  Classic cars."

Castiel smiled.  That made perfect sense.  "Yes, I remember back in high school...you had that 1967 Impala, correct?" It was the only name of a 'classic car' he ever bothered to know, because it was Dean's, and everyone back then knew how much he treasured it.  He recalled seeing Dean in the parking lot of school sitting on the hood and talking with a group of his friends.  Castiel would watch him from a distance while leaning on a tree, just staring blissfully as Dean talked and laughed, occasionally rubbing his hand across the shiny black hood of the car.

Dean laughed and beamed with pride.  "Yep, that's my baby!  Still drive her to this day.  Keepin' 'er lookin’ and runnin’ perfect is probably my favorite thing to do.  I seriously could do that all day."

"Well, you definitely should work toward that goal.  You could do it.  The school offers a lot of auto mechanic courses that I hear good things about.  And business classes as well, of course."  The warm hand on Castiel's thigh had stilled, but was still wonderfully pleasant.  Now he felt another hand that began to rub his right shoulder.

"Your encouragement's all the motivation I need, Professor."

Castiel shook his head and looked away in embarrassment with a small upturn of his lips that he couldn't cease. 

Dean laughed.  "Sorry.  Had to."

He looked back up towards Dean and the hand that was on his shoulder had moved to cup his cheek.  Castiel didn't resist the sigh that escaped his lips as his eyes closed and he rested into the touch.  All of this Dean touching and conversing had him practically sober, but still feeling dizzy in an entirely different way. 

Dean's hands had done all the touching so far, as Cas couldn't seem to make his own move.  He was never like this with anyone else.  Dean just had this way of making him feel warm all over, but still frozen solid as if he were stuck in a block of ice.   Dean had super powers, he was sure of it.

All he could do was open his big blue eyes and look straight into Dean's which were close enough now that he could see all the different colors that truly made up his irises.  They were brilliantly green, but also had hazel swirling around in them with flecks of brown as well.  They looked like planets.  He could gaze at those two planets forever, finding all the different storms and mountains that made such a lovely surface.  He didn't realize it, but they were getting closer and closer.  He could see more and more detail in them, until he noticed the eyelids had closed, covering them up.

He felt the hand on his cheek move to the back of his neck, his head being pushed gently forward. Then he felt soft pouty lips press against his own and he finally managed to close his own eyes, and purse his own lips.

Dean's lips felt just as gloriously soft as they did a million years ago.  Castiel had never forgotten the exact way they felt.  The lips were as soft as ever, but the kiss had a more grown up, manly feel to it as he could feel Dean's chin and rough skin touching his face now.

Castiel finally made his hands move, up Dean's toned arms, then wrapping them around his shoulders. 

Dean opened up his mouth a bit and Castiel followed suit, feeling the tip of a tongue enter him.  He touched it with his own tongue, and the kiss deepened further from there.  Castiel felt a sudden bolt of warm and shaky energy and he couldn't hold back. He squeezed his arms around Dean tight and pressed his face harder and opened his mouth wider turning the kiss into one of the passionate ones from his fantasies. 

Dean responded by wrapping the arm that was on Cas' thigh around his waist and pulling the man close in.  His other hand moved to grip locks of Castiel's dark brown hair. 

Cas found his own hands moving much more now, feeling the muscles of Dean's back through the cloth.  He pressed his hands hard into Dean's shoulder blades.  He needed Dean as close as humanly fucking possible, and Dean seemed to agree with that as he pushed forward making them lie down on the couch.

Dean moved the hand beneath Castiel’s head to the side of his face.  Dean's other hand moved up and down along Cas' side, clutching at his hip then up to his ribs.

Cas was clutching into Dean's shirt now as the men both began rolling their hips and rubbing their erections together.  Cas let out a breathy whine at the feel of it, and their dry humping became intense. 

Dean backed his lips off just enough to speak, but kept them touching, "Cas, wanna suck you." Dean's right hand went down between them and rubbed at Castiel's bulge.  Castiel gasped and nearly squealed.  He couldn't form words.  No way.

Dean twirled their tongues together in a deep kiss once more before moving down Cas' body, trailing kisses down along with way. He knelt up with his knees on either side of Cas' legs and gripped at his hips, then slid his hands up to Cas' waist under the shirt, then back down again.

Castiel's own hands slowly left Dean's back and fell heavily at his sides.  He was panting, his eyes barely open but remaining fixed on Dean's, who was looking down hungrily at Cas' crotch. 

Dean ducked his head down and kissed the bulge in Castiel's jeans which sent a flashback through his brain of when he did the exact same thing to Dean in that closet at that party in high school.  That was the best night of his life, but it was looking more and more like it was about to be in second place. 

Dean undid Castiel's jeans, who obediently lifted his hips so Dean could lower them down.  Castiel's fists were clenched and his chest was heaving.  His eye lids were feeling heavy but he wasn't going to close them.  He watched Dean grip his cock with his right hand and lick his lips, lowering his mouth onto the head, giving it a kiss.  Castiel had done the same thing to him at that party.  At that point he couldn't stop his eyes from squeezing shut as a moan escaped him. 

"Dean." He called out desperately, dragging the name out and sounding almost angry although he was anything but.

Dean responded to the command and took Cas into his mouth, deep as he could, and began to suck him in and out.  He sucked and licked Cas expertly, and his hand stayed tightly gripped on what he couldn't fit in his mouth. 

Castiel squirmed beneath him, thrusting up, his fists clenching and unclenching.  He felt like a young boy getting his dick sucked for the first time, only it was worlds fucking better this time.  It was hot and wet, and it was Dean bobbing up and down, sucking him off while using his other hand to stroke his thigh with care. 

Castiel moaned and gasped along with other noises that slipped out that he had never made before in his life. 

"Oh, God, fuck.  Dean."  His voice was low and airy.  One hand gripped the back of Dean's head and grabbed onto a tuft of hair while the other grabbed at the collar' of the back of Dean's shirt. There were gonna be permanent wrinkles in that thing once the two were done here.

Cas was just about done, too.

Dean seemed to be aware of Castiel's impending climax as he slipped Cas out of his mouth for a moment to smile and breathe a hot whisper onto the cock in his grip. 

"Castiel."  He took Castiel in again completely, one last time.

"Dean.  Dean! Ah!" Castiel came, exploding into Dean's mouth.  Dean swallowed it all down and licked at the tip when he was through.

Cas' arms went limp and his eyes closed.  He was completely spent.  He felt a warm body lay down on top of him.

Castiel couldn't move, could barely even think, but his brain did register that there was movement going on between he and Dean.  Dean was jacking himself off in his pants, breathing hot and heavy into Cas' neck. 

Castiel wanted to help him but he was too, ugh...everything.  All he could do was place a hand lightly on the back of Dean's neck, caressing it through Dean's orgasm.

He felt more warm wetness between them as Dean collapsed on top of him, just as limp as he was.  They stayed that way for a while.  Might've even dozed off for a minute or two.

Dean sucked a deep breath in and out through his nose as he lifted his head up to look at his companion. 

"Cas?"

Castiel slowly opened his eyes and looked into Dean's.  Their eyes were both hazy with heavy lids.

"It's really late.  You should stay over."

Castiel nodded and they somehow made it back into Dean's bedroom.  They took turns cleaning themselves off in the bathroom before stripping down to their underwear and climbing into Dean's giant, plush bed. Castiel snuggled back into Dean who whispered, low and raspy, "I'm not much for cuddling usually but uh, heh..." The sentence went unfinished as Dean wrapped an arm over Castiel, pulling him in even closer.  They spooned in the center of the huge, warm bed, with sheets and a thick comforter piled on top of them.  Castiel sighed blissfully and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Yes, this definitely was now placed #1 on the best nights of his life list.


	5. Chapter 5

Castiel and Dean didn't go on too many more dates during the remainder of the semester.  Castiel forced himself to work up the strength to tell Dean it just wasn't right for them to fraternize while he was a student in his class, but he assured him that it would probably be okay next semester.  "That is...unless you were wanting to take the second level of the course..."

To which Dean laughed and replied, "Nah, Cas, I mean...I love watchin you teach, but I'd rather get to make out with you." 

Castiel blushed and nodded in confirmation.

Throughout the rest of the semester, they maintained as normal a teacher-student relationship as they could, but it seemed Dean couldn't stop himself flirting, and Cas couldn't _not_ smile and go red in the face every damn time he did.

Castiel hoped that his students just assumed Dean was a big ol' flirt, and that nothing was going on between them. 

When they got to the chapter in the course on the various figures in Christian theology, Castiel was going down the list of all the different Angels and their ranks while divulging information about his family, himself included, being named after each one. 

He got to Cassiel, his namesake, and Dean just had to chime in.  "Right, yeah.  Now tell us about how much it hurt when you fell from heaven." He leaned forward in his desk, winked, clicked his tongue twice and teased with a head shake, "What a shame, what a shame."  Dean laid it on so thick that the class couldn't help but laugh as their teacher rubbed his forehead in frustration and embarrassment, unable to resist smiling. 

After class on a Thursday, Dean came up to Castiel's desk after the other students left. 

"Hey, Cas?  I got a bit of a problem."

Cas furrowed his brows and looked at Dean, his eyes intense with concern.  "What is it, Dean?"

"Well uh...I kinda got a job out in LA that's too good to pass up...but the thing is, it's on next Tuesday morning so I'd have to miss class."

Castiel tilted his head.  "We have an exam that day."

"Yeah, yeah, exactly.  So...I wanted to ask if there was any way I could get a take home version of the test?"

Castiel looked down and considered a few things.  Would he make an exception like this for any other student?  He hadn't had this problem yet. 

"Can you come in on Monday to take it with that class?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah I can do that.  Is the 8AM class okay? My flight out's that day at noon so..."

"Yes, that would be fine, Dean."

Good.  Crisis averted.  That's definitely something he would work out with any other student. 

"Great, thanks, Cas.  Really." He gave Castiel's upper arm a squeeze and smiled at him before walking out.  Castiel watched him leave, as always.

The following Monday, Dean walked in and sat down.  He looked a bit on the stressed side, so Castiel made sure to emphasize to his students _not to rush_ as he passed out the exam.

While Dean was out of town, Castiel proceeded as normal, but very much missed his presence at school.  Dean sent him a few texts during that Tuesday.

" _Hope your class doesn't feel too empty without my remarkable charm and wit"_

_"Wish you were out here with me, babe"_

_"You should come to a shoot sometime"_

Oh, God, the thought of that was...

Castiel thumbed over the screen reading that text over and over, imagining watching Dean at work.  All the stylists getting Dean all sexed up and watching him pose for photos in all kinds of different settings...wind blowing...water dripping off him...clothes barely hanging on...

Just then a student approached him with a question before his next class started, snapping him out of the fantasy. 

After his final class of the day, Castiel checked his phone again for more Dean texts.

_"Finally done.  So tired."_

_"Miss ya"_

Castiel finally replied: " _I miss you too, Dean. I hope you had fun."_

_"Woulda been better with you here ;)"_

Castiel went home grinning the entire way.  He spent that night having some much needed time alone with the sexy photos of Dean on his Facebook.  He decided to Google image search 'Dean Winchester Photo Shoot' as well and found some new photos he hadn't seen before.  Even without Dean actually being there...he was still gonna have a pretty good night.

*****

At long fucking last, the semester was finally over and Castiel and Dean could catch back up on dating.  It was a cold night in December and the couple were walking hand in hand in a park in Castiel's neighborhood.  They were both bundled up in gloves and beanies, Dean wearing a dark brown leather jacket and Castiel in his trench coat.

They stopped to look at a nearby pond and as Castiel was watching the moonlight shine across the ripples in the water, Dean turned him around and pulled him into a deep, warm kiss.  The warmth of their joined lips was a wonderful contrast to the cold feel of the rest of their faces.  They wrapped their arms around each other and stayed that way, kissing for God knows how long, making the world around them disappear, sounds, time and all.  The only sound Castiel could hear was that of his own heart pounding.  It was the most romantic kiss of his life, and he was falling into it, falling into Dean, for Dean.

They parted lips and looked into each other’s eyes.  Castiel's shining a brilliant deep blue in the moonlight, and Dean's looking a bit dark, but with the small sparkle of light, while he looked down at his angel with a smile.  Their hot breath was visible in the cold, the smoke twisting together, combining their air.  They sucked it in and came together for one last kiss, before walking back to Dean's car parked in Castiel's apartment complex.

When they got to the Impala, they stood and looked at each other for a second with their hands pocketed.  Dean reached for the back passenger door on the driver's side and said, "I got somethin for ya.  I wanted to wait ‘til Christmas to give it to you, but now's a good a time as any I s'pose."

Castiel blinked with surprise and watched Dean reach into the car and pull out a sloppily wrapped gift.  Castiel placed a hand underneath the present and on top, feeling it.  It wasn't wrapped around a box, but rather something soft like cloth.

"Well? You gonna open it or pet it?" Dean smirked at him, watching Castiel with amusement.

He began unwrapping the gift, revealing a soft, tan material.  He pulled it out, Dean grabbed the wrapping paper for him and he unfolded the cloth in his hands.  It was a brand new trench coat, almost exactly like the one he'd been wearing for years now, except of course this one was new, and not falling apart.  It felt thicker, like the material was much more expensive.  He held it out in front of him and just stared, taking it in. His jaw was dropped and his eyes were wide.  Dean had rendered him speechless yet again.

"Ya like it?  It was on the rack at my last shoot and I just had to grab it for you.  I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw it actually. I mean, it's just so Cas!"  Dean extended his arms as if presenting the coat like a game show prize.

"I love it, Dean.  It's perfect."

"Well let's not get ahead of ourselves.  Here, let's put it on you."

Castiel handed his precious new gift to Dean while he took off his old coat.  He placed it on the roof of the Impala and turned around so Dean could put the new coat on him.  It fit perfectly, for Cas anyway, which meant that it was slightly too big and hung off him a bit baggy.  It totally did feel like thicker, warmer, better material than his previous coat.  He wrapped his arms around himself and hugged it, with a big smile and rosy cheeks.  He felt burning hot on the tips of his ears and in his eyes.  It was just a coat, but to Castiel it was so much more than that.  Dean knew what Castiel liked, what made him happy, when nobody else seemed to really give a shit.  His brothers and sister would give him the occasional advice, sure, but no one ever made Castiel feel important like Dean did. 

He felt arms wrap around him from behind and pull him back.  He fell into Dean's chest, and his head ducked down.  He was smiling so big and wide he felt he might burst.  Dean kissed Cas on the ear and on the cheek and held on for a few minutes, before saying his goodbyes and driving off.  Castiel kept clutching onto his new coat while he watched the Impala drive away, the moonlight shining across it as it drove off out of sight. 

Castiel was in love.  Completely.

He walked up to his apartment in absolute bliss, opened the door and walked straight into the bedroom.  He collapsed onto his bed, arms and legs spread out and he stared up into the ceiling, feeling like a kid again.  Feeling like how he felt the night he got home from that graduation party.


	6. Chapter 6

On his first Monday morning off from work during the winter break, he was awoken by a call from Dean at around 10:30AM.

"Hey Cas, you got big family plans for Christmas?"

He didn't.  His family lived all over now, so they rarely got together these days.  Even though they had a religious upbringing, they had all gone on to do such different things that Christmas just wasn't a big deal anymore.

"No.  Why?" Castiel responded with a grumbly voice and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.  He loved hearing Dean's voice first thing in the morning, but he had been sleeping pretty deeply before his phone made him jolt awake.

"Well I was wonderin if you wanted to come with me to Lawrence to spend Christmas at Sammy's.  He and his fiancé Jess invited us."

Us? That meant Dean had been telling his family about him.  That made Castiel smile.

"Sure, Dean.  I would like that."

"Awesome.  But uh...that's still a bit of a ways off so...what are you doin’ this weekend?  There's something else I wanna invite you to."

Dean invited Cas to go with him to New York City for some photo shoots he got booked on.  There was also a fashion show he was going to be walking down the runway in and he wanted Cas there for support.

"I mean I've done em before, but...I dunno, it'd just be really good havin’ ya there.  Plus, New York is just awesome.  You ever been?"

"No, actually.  I've always wanted to go though.  The Chrysler building is something I've always wanted to see.  And the Statue of Liberty..."

"Yeah, we'll see all that!  So you wanna come with?"

"Yes, I'd love to."

Castiel was beyond excited.  This was going to be a winter break long remembered.

 

*****

As they sat down on the plane Castiel couldn't help but be curious about how Dean was acting that day.  He had seemed a bit anxious all morning on the way to the airport, and even more so now that they were about to leave.  Cas watched him, held tilted and concerned. 

"Dean?  Is everything alright?"

"Huh? Oh, oh yeah, I'm good."

The plane started and Dean got more and more fidgety.  His fingers tapped away on his knees, then clenched down on his legs as he shut his eyes and took deep breaths. 

Oh, he was afraid of flying! Castiel was worried for him, but he couldn't help but smile inside a bit at how adorable it was, and about learning something new that Dean might've been too embarrassed to share.

Castiel wrapped his arms around one of Dean's and grabbed his hand, rubbing it with his thumb.  Dean interlaced their fingers and rubbed back.  He opened his eyes and turned to Cas with a nervous smile.  Castiel leaned in and kissed him, keeping their lips together until the plane had finished taking off and finally steadied.

Dean leaned over and whispered in Cas' ear, "So glad you're here with me."

Cas smiled wide. He was too.

New York City was bustling, snowing, and freezing cold.  Castiel was even more grateful for the nice new trench coat that Dean got for him.  It was an amazing place and Castiel looked around at everything in awe, like a stereotypical tourist.  Luckily, there were always tourists around the city so he didn't really stick out all that much. 

After checking into their hotel room, they took the subway to Dean's first job, which was a neat experience.  It was packed in there so they were pressed closed together, standing.  Dean had a hand above them, holding onto a handle and the other arm was wrapped around Castiel’s waist.  If there weren't so many other people pressed up against him as well, Castiel might have gotten lost in another Dean moment.

The photo shoot was crazy busy, and Dean didn't really have much time to talk; he just went straight to work.  And damn was it sexy.  I mean, my God.  Castiel knew it was gonna be good, but he was not fucking prepared for this level of sexiness.  Castiel stood toward the back of the room and watched Dean, completely entranced by him. 

It was winter, which in fashion time meant that the summer stuff had to be photographed and out there for the public, so Dean was _not wearing much_. 

There was a lot of shirtless Dean, whether in jeans or swim trunks, sometimes wearing tight, tight t shirts, and LOTS AND LOTS OF WET DEAN.  Just soaking, dripping wet Dean in all these different poses.  Castiel didn't give a shit about the clothes, just the body wearing them that was being shown off so fuckin' well, and Dean knew exactly what to do with it. 

Castiel walked up to get a closer look, still making sure to stay out of everyone's way, but he had to get a better view.  He peered at the computer that all the photos were being saved on for editing.  There were a lot of close up shots of Dean's gorgeous, freckled face that even before any were edited had his eyes sparkling in, piercing through the monitor.  Castiel wondered for a second if there was a way he could get a copy of every single photo. 

Between set ups, Dean went off to change and came back wearing a vest that was adorned in several pockets and straps, a pair of ripped jeans and no shirt.  His hair was styled in messy spikes sticking out all over his head.  He looked like walking sex, basically.  He walked right up to Castiel and gave him a big hug and kiss, arms wrapped around his waist.  Castiel pressed his hands to Dean's bare chest that was all slicked up and shiny. 

"I know this is takin' forever."  Dean said with a guilty look.

It had been?  There was definitely no concept of time in this room for Castiel. 

"Hope you're not getting bored."

"No.  No, definitely not." Castiel protested, rapidly shaking his head.  How could anyone consider watching Dean be sexy and wet boring?

The photographer came up to them, he was a short British man who wore a lot of black and had big round, judging eyes.

"Bout five more minutes til the next shoot."  He turned to Castiel.  "Well hello, look at you.  Those eyes are bloody incredible.  He yours, Dean?"

"Yeah, Crowley. He's mine."  He winked and smirked at Cas, who was looking a bit confused and awkward.

"You model?"  The photographer inquired, also smirking.

"Oh, no. I'm uh...a teacher."

"Damn.  A real waste, that."  Crowley turned to some stylists who were going through a rack of clothes.  "We got anything for this one to wear in the next shoot? I'd like to shoot em together." He gestured at the boys with his pointer finger going back and forth between them.

Castiel was terror stricken.

"Wait, Crowley,” Dean began to protest.  “Cas, look, you don't have to do it if you don't want."

"Come on, love, just a few photos? All you gotta do is point those big blues at the camera and I'll do the rest."  

Castiel swallowed a couple times because his mouth had gone dry.  Before he could really respond, Crowley waved some stylists over who pulled him away and into hair and makeup.  They trimmed his hair a tiny bit, then mussed it up with several different products.  They shaved his 5 o'clock shadow just a little, cleaning it up. Then they lightly covered his face with makeup, which felt very strange, and sent him off to put on some clothes. 

Dean was with him every step of the way making sure everyone treated him well, which they did.  Dean was really the star of the show there, so they made sure not to piss him off. 

They put Castiel in a tight royal blue button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up past the elbows, a black pinstripe vest that had some strappy decor similar to Dean's, some incredibly tight dark blue jeans and some sandals.  And a really colorful floral print bowtie.  He felt totally embarrassed.  If Gabriel could see him now...

Crowley had them get rid of the stupid bowtie, thank God, and told Cas to unbutton the vest and shirt to reveal a hint of his flat, toned midriff.  

They stood up against the stark white wall and Cas looked at Dean, at a loss for what to do.  They still had a moment before Crowley was ready so Dean leaned in and said, "Just follow my lead.  I'll help you.  You look insanely hot, by the way.  You don't have to do much of anything, I promise."

When Crowley began shooting Castiel was completely frozen stiff, looking like a deer in head lights.  He kind of twitched awkwardly and put a hand on a hip, then switched to the other hand.  Dean was just posing away expertly as always when Crowley lowered the camera and gave them a look that said "Really?"

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes at the photographer, then turned to Castiel. He grabbed him by the arms and shook him up. 

"Loosen up, Cas, really you don't have to put any effort into it.  Just...okay:  You know how you feel when you've been waiting in a line for a really long time?  Like a little pissed and tired of standing? Just try and do that.  Pretend like you don't care about anything, but you're also kinda horny."

Castiel absorbed the tips, nodding.  He was already horny from watching Dean, so at least that part would be easy.

"We ready now, boys?"

"Yeah, Crowley, we're good. Go ahead."

They did some standing, and some leaning, some with one man sitting on a stark white cube that matched the wall while the other stood with a leg propped up on the other cube next to it. Crowley came in for a few close ups, and did a lot of Cas' face.

"Those eyes are just unreal! You do tell him so, don't you Dean?"

"Not nearly often enough." He wrapped his arms around Cas' neck, nuzzled his cheek then placed kisses along his neck, tickling him and making him giggle.  Castiel grabbed Dean's arms and held on.  The two boys swayed back and forth, laughing, and all the while Crowley took pictures of them. 

They changed Cas into a few more outfits and he posed with Dean for a while longer, and even did a few by himself, but not many because he felt weird about it.  Dean looked like he thoroughly enjoyed watching him though. 

Before they left Crowley came up to thank them for a job well done. 

"So what's your name anyway, Blue?"

"Castiel."

Crowley nodded appreciatively. "Rather Angelic.  Fitting." 

"Ain't it?"  Dean looked at Castiel lovingly, slung his arm around his angel's shoulders and they walked out.

 

*****

There was a fashion show that night that turned out to be another crazy new experience for Castiel.  It was in a pretty small venue, but it was packed wall to wall with people.  There were male and female models walking the runway, but none of them really held Castiel's attention at all.  He just waited for Dean to come out, and watched him closely.  It was like something out of a movie.  There were cameras flashing and people cheering, but none of it had an effect on Dean.  He was focused and professional.  He was a star and as fucking hot as one too.  And bright.  Glowing.  There was just this aura around him.  It had always been there, but it was definitely being highlighted tonight somehow.  Castiel watched him, frozen stiff aside from his head following Dean as he walked up and down the runway.  The loud bassy music faded, the crowds of people were silenced, everything around Dean got whited out.  It was only Dean in the room.  Just Dean, walking, looking straight ahead, but as he turned, his eyes found Castiel in the crowd immediately, and he broke his Blue Steel model pout into a smile as he winked right at him. 

Castiel nearly fucking fainted.  Even if Dean's super powers weren't already blocking out Cas' senses, he still wouldn't be able to hear anything over the pounding of his heart in his ears. Some people near Castiel seemed to notice that Dean was looking at him, and they all started talking at him, but Castiel was unable to respond, or even listen.  He just fell back against the wall he was standing in front of and watched the rest of the show barely cognitive of it.

This was all just so much packed into one day.  So many firsts, grand firsts, and Cas' brain had no idea what to do with all of it.  Dean couldn't seem to stop changing Castiel's life all around.  He was staring off, still stunned, when he felt a hand grab onto one of his own. 

"Let's get outta here.  There's an after party down the street."  Dean pulled them through the crowd and out the door. 

The after party was in a huge club with loud music, drinks being passed around, and a big shiny, glowing bar in the center that was surrounded by beautiful people.  There were rich looking people of all ages talking and laughing around them.  Dean still had Cas' hand as he guided them toward a cozy booth in the back corner of the club.  He signaled a waiter over who brought them some cocktails. 

"Why can't they serve trays of beer at these things?" Dean joked, but clinked their glasses all the same. 

Castiel just looked around taking in his surroundings.  It was dark, but somehow still well-lit in certain areas.  There were blue lights, and white lights, and purple lights, reflecting off of every surface.  Cas' eyes danced around the room along with the lights and all the people. 

Dean wrapped an arm around Castiel's neck and pulled him in, giving him a wet kiss on the ear.  "Thanks for comin’ here with me, Cas." He whispered, the heat of his breath tickling Cas’ ear and his tone promising even better things to come, "Really."

Castiel shuddered and turned to face Dean.  They kissed, a softly at first, then full on started making out, hands all over each other until finally Dean pulled away.  "Damn.  Let's get you outta here."

They got up and Dean pulled him across the room again, but this time they got stuck in the crowd who started dancing when what must've been a pretty popular song came on.  They got trapped in the hustle and bustle, finally giving in to the rhythmic movement and began dancing with each other.  Castiel never danced, but if anyone were to get him to, it would be Dean. 

They grinded up against each other, up and down in time with the song, their eyes never parting. Dean grabbed Castiel's wrists and raised their arms together up above their heads, interlocking their fingers.  He leaned in to give Castiel an open mouth kiss, tongue first, and Castiel accepted it as his mouth was already open, panting.  Their tongues twirled around each other and their lips smacked shut together in loud, wet kisses. Cas' eyes were sealed shut while Dean's were slightly opened, watching his dancing partner's angelic movements beneath him as he lowered their arms again, wrapping them around one another.  If either of them had any clue what the hell this loud techno-y club song playing was, it'd totally be their song, even though neither listened to that type of music.     

The song ended and the two parted, trying to calm down and catch their breath, but both men were hard as rocks and needed to get the fuck outta there and into their hotel room.

They got to the building, hastily walked through the lobby, and made out in the elevator the entire ride up.  It may have even stopped to let other hotel guests in and out a few times, but neither noticed. 

They stumbled across the hallway, Dean leading them to their room while Cas stayed fixed on kissing Dean's jaw, neck, and collar bone.  Dean managed to get the door open and was shoved inside, across the room, and onto the bed by a desperate and determined Castiel.  This was happening.  Now.

He took his trench coat and suit jacket off, letting them fall to the floor.  Dean wiggled out of his leather jacket and button up shirt, leaving a thin undershirt remaining.  They both kicked off their shoes, and Castiel loosened his tie as he fell on top of Dean kissing him mercilessly.  He kissed Dean's soft, pouty lips, his rough jaw, his neck.  He traveled down his collarbone, and placed kisses on his clavicle as he pushed his hands up Dean's t-shirt.  Dean grabbed the shirt and lifted it up, removing it.  Castiel straddled Dean, looking down at the beautiful bare chest beneath him.  He ran his hands up and down it, then ducked back down, kissing across it and biting at the hardened nipples. 

"Ah! Cas..." Dean moaned and writhed beneath him, breaths getting loud and heavy.

Cas stopped for nothing.  He kissed and nibbled the body he worshipped for so many years that was now finally beneath him. 

Dean managed to pull Cas' tie loose and started to unbutton his shirt, but Cas' position made it difficult.  Cas had no idea he was trying to do it.  His focus was busy elsewhere, placing kisses further and further down Dean's smooth, muscular abdomen.

"Cas. Cas, take your shirt off." Dean grabbed beneath Castiel's arms forcing him up and unbuttoning the rest of his white collared shirt.  He ripped the thing down his arms and Cas lifted them out of the sleeves and tossed it to the side.  He took his own white undershirt off and lied back down on top of Dean, claiming his mouth in another open, wet kiss.

Their arms wrapped around each other and they grinded, their erections rubbing together, shooting all kinds of pleasure through their bodies.  Castiel couldn't take it anymore and he rolled off Dean to get his own pants the hell off, and Dean mimicked him. 

Both finally naked, Castiel got back on top of Dean, wrapping his arms around him and kissing his neck again, the feeling of flesh against flesh making him quiver. 

Dean rubbed his hands hard up Castiel's back as he pleaded, "Come on, Professor Collins,"

Castiel paused and blinked for a second, stunned, as Dean continued.

"Fuck me."

Dean's downright filthy begging nearly made Castiel come right then and there, but he restrained miraculously.  Instead, he bolted into action, panting frantically. 

"Yes, Dean." He started shaking with anticipation as he grabbed around the discarded clothing for his wallet to retrieve the condom kept inside.  He ripped it open and slid it down his tender shaft, his breath hitching as he did so.

"Shit, lube. I don't have...s'in suitcase..."

"It's okay, angel."  Dean reached down beside the bed and unzipped his own bag that was next to it grabbing a bottle of lube out and handing it to his partner. 

Cas squirted a generous amount of the cool liquid onto his fingers and impatiently stuck them inside of Dean, who let out a soft cry.  Cas’ brain caught up, registering Dean’s noises and reminding him to slow down, so he did, pulling his fingers in and out.  It felt fucking glorious, and the sounds and movements Dean was making could've made Cas burst out crying with how amazing it all was.  He was focused though, intent on his task of getting Dean ready and making sure everything was perfect.

"mmf...ahh..." Cas positioned himself above Dean, so ready to enter him, but looked down at Dean, into his eyes to get confirmation. 

Dean lifted himself up a bit more and the head of Castiel's cock grazed Dean's entrance, making them both moan, and Cas needed no further permission.  He slowly pushed his hardness into Dean, grunting, but smiling slightly at the feel of it.  He began to thrust in and out, picking up pace, and Dean beneath him called out his name and made so many other heavenly fucking noises, grabbing Castiel's back and pushing him in harder, further.

Castiel had no idea what sounds he might've been making, other than gasping out "Dean" over and over. His ears were tuned into Dean, his eyes squeezed shut.  He forced them open every so often to get a look at the unbelievable sight beneath him.  Everything else around them was gone.  The city lights peeping in through the large hotel window, the noises of cars and wind and planes, everything was silent and blank. Everything but Dean.

He was pushing into Dean so hard that Dean's feet were being lifted off the mattress and he seemed to fucking love it.  Castiel wrapped his fingers around Dean's hard-on and rubbed it up and down in time with their thrusting.

Castiel was whimpering and Dean was grunting and cursing.  Both were calling out each other's names. 

"Castiel!" Dean shouted it out like he was summoning him from the heavens, and Cas came, answering all of Dean's prayers.  Dean came immediately after too, all over Cas' hand and their torsos.

Castiel gently pulled out and collapsed on top of his lover, his thighs were shaking and weak as they breathed in and out simultaneously.

After they finally caught their breath, Dean gently rolled an utterly worn out Cas off of him, and peeled the condom off.  He got up to throw it away and get a towel to clean them up with.  Castiel had already passed out by the time Dean got back from the bathroom.  Dean just looked down at his angelic lover and smiled, full of adoration.  He pulled the blankets back and tucked them both in, lying down on his side while Cas was on his back. He wrapped his arms around Cas and kissed his temple.

"G'night, Cas."

Castiel barely responded before falling fast asleep. "-ight, Dean." 

"I love you."


	7. Chapter 7

Castiel and Dean saw each other nearly every day after they got back from New York.  Castiel had to put some limits on how long they spent together, since he had to make sure he was prepared to start his classes that upcoming spring semester.  Dean understood, but sarcastically complained anyway.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, work or whatever.  Molding young minds and all that."

"It is important, Dean." 

Neither was sure if the other was joking, but they both laughed. 

Still though, they had been spending a lot of time together and Castiel couldn't be happier.  Although, he still felt like there was a lot he didn't yet know about Dean, and he wanted to know absolutely everything.

They were out eating at one of Dean's favorite restaurants ("Their bacon cheeseburger made me jizz the first time I had it.  No lie."  "That's disgusting...yet impressive.") when Castiel decided to bring up something he was curious about, but still felt would be a fairly neutral subject.

"Dean, how did you get started modeling?"

Dean looked up from the burger he seemed to be having a love affair with, swallowed his current bite and wiped his mouth.

"Oh, uh, it's not a super interesting story really." He wiped his fingers off on his napkin while taking a drink of his beer.

Despite Dean's preface, Castiel leaned forward in genuine interest, awaiting the tale.

"I did a little bit of it here and there during high school, but was kinda too embarrassed to tell anyone.  Got spotted by a shop owner at a mall who brought me and a few other teenagers in who would work for cheap to take some photos in their ugly ass clothes.  I just needed the extra money you know?  It paid pretty well, even though I was only workin’ for local businesses."

Castiel nodded, eyes still fixated on Dean.  "Didn't you also work at an auto repair shop?"

"Oh, yeah, Bobby's shop, yeah.  S'where I got my baby.”  Dean looked out of the window next to their booth and gazed lovingly at his car.  “Bobby’s like family, so he let me work there as a favor basically, but the pay wasn't really enough though so uh...I needed a second gig, I guess. Once graduation started coming up, I needed to get a real job so...Sammy helped me put together a modeling portfolio and I sent it out to, like, everywhere.  Got contacted finally by an agency in LA a couple months after graduation, and that was that."

"I see. You weren't interested in attending college?"

"Uh, I dunno, I mean I was, but...it just wasn't really in the cards."

"Oh?" Castiel craved more information, but he tried so hard to not seem too eager for it.  That shadow of sadness was starting to appear on Dean's face and it broke his heart. 

"Yeah."  Dean took another swig of beer and, to Castiel's surprise (and delight), he continued. "Sammy really wanted to go to college.  Law school, which we both knew would be expensive...but he's just so smart, I knew he'd do great.  He got a scholarship and all, but still...there were other expenses...so I just got a job that turned out to be extremely well paying and helped pay his way through school."

"Wow, Dean.  That was extremely generous of you.  You're a great brother."

"Heh, thanks.  Sam's all I got, ya know? So..."  That was an incredibly revealing sentence that was said so casually Castiel didn't know how to respond. 

"Your...parents...?" Castiel inquired tentatively, his head tilted and eyes big and bright blue.  Dean's own eyes were looking more and more dark and distant making Castiel start to regret asking.

"Oh, uh...you didn't know about that?  I guess I didn't really tell a whole lotta people.  Yeah, uh, they passed away."

Castiel blinked, his dark eyelashes collecting moisture.  "Oh. I'm sorry to hear that, Dean.  You are though...an amazing brother.  An amazing man."  he placed a hand atop of Dean's.  "I hope you're as proud of yourself as you are of Sam.  You should be."

"Thanks, Cas."  Dean's eyes flicked up to Castiel's for a second and he smiled faintly.  Even though it must've happened a long time ago, it still had quite an effect on him.  Castiel knew he hadn't gotten the whole story there, but he just learned so much about Dean that he welled up inside.  It was a bittersweet feeling.  He felt sadness for his lover, but felt full with such important knowledge of him.  Things that he even said himself that he didn't share with many people.

"So what about you, Cas?  How'd you become _Professor Collins?_ "  Dean said it like it was a secret code name.  It made it dirty. Cas liked it.

"O-oh, there's...not much to tell really.  I just went to college to learn about the subjects that interested me the most and decided to teach them afterwards.  I suppose I had always wanted to be a teacher...well...not always.  When I was very young I wanted to be a pirate."

Dean let out a much needed hearty laugh.  "Baby Cas wearin’ an eye patch and swingin’ around a little wooden sword." Castiel nodded and blushed, because that's was exactly what he did.

"That is too good."  Dean shook his head wearing a big grin.  "I wanted to be a cowboy.  We would've had some epic pretend battles."  Dean mused through chuckles. 

Castiel giggled softly.  "Indeed we would have.  Though I would have liked to have had you on my side against my brothers...they would all pretend to be sea monsters and attempt to eat me.  My little sister would join in too."  Dean rewarded Castiel by cracking up, throwing his whole body into it. 

"Oh man, we woulda kicked their asses! I had this awesome revolver cap gun.  Used to shoot Sammy right in the ass with it." He did a finger gun to demonstrate and Castiel laughed right along with Dean. 

It seemed like every night he spent with Dean topped the last no matter what they were doing. 

They ended the night with a soft kiss in front of the door to Castiel's place.  Dean had to get up early for work the next day so he couldn't stick around for any fun. 

 

*****

It was Friday on the weekend before Christmas, which fell on a Tuesday, and Castiel and Dean were headed to Sam's house by car.  Dean played all of his favorite songs by Zeppelin, Kansas, Pink Floyd, and several others for Cas, explaining to him why he loved each one(and indulging in lots of air guitar).  Castiel enjoyed it thoroughly.  Dean much more so than the music, but the tunes were good too.

When they pulled up at Sam's house, they got out of the car and began to unload the trunk when they noticed the front door opening up. 

“Heya, Sammy!”  Dean said to the man immerging from the door who Castiel looked at in shock. He hadn't seen Sam Winchester in person since high school, and the boy was always tall, but holy crap.  He was like a mythic beast in stature with long, shaggy brown hair blowing in the wind to match. 

“Dean!” Sam walked over waving and tugged Dean into a warm embrace.  Castiel smiled at them. 

"And Castiel!  It's great to see you after all these years."  Sam extended a hand and Castiel shook it, clasping his other hand around it as well.

"You as well." Castiel replied with a smile that Sam returned, then glanced over at his older brother who was wearing a big grin and blushing cheeks. 

"Well come on in, guys! Jess is inside working on dinner."  He grabbed both suitcases under his gargantuan arms and headed back up to the front door.  Dean looked at him with faint irritation, but mostly amusement. 

"Uh, you know those have wheels on em right, Hoss?"  They all just laughed as Castiel cheerfully followed the two brothers inside. 

Sam had clearly done well for himself as well, because his house was pretty sizable and quite nice.  A two story brick house that was very spacious inside, but still cozy.  Castiel had a look around, taking stock of everything he could as they walked further in. 

Sam dropped the suitcases down.  "Alright Dean, you lug these upstairs; you know where you're stayin."

"Yep, yep."

A pretty blond woman walked in to the living room the boys were all standing in and greeted the two new arrivals. 

"Dean!" She came in for a big hug.

"Hey, Jess.  Still hanging around with this big hairy so-n-so, huh?" He said in an exaggerated jocular tone, mocking his own use of the cliche, while tilting his head toward his younger brother.

She laughed and Sam rolled his eyes with a grin. 

Castiel smiled at the three of them as Jess approached him.  "You must be Castiel! It's great to finally meet you! I'm Jessica." 

She went in for a hug that Castiel returned while saying, "It's nice to meet you as well.  Thank you for inviting me."

"Of course!  Dinner's just about ready," she said looking around to all three men. "Sam, wanna come help me out in the kitchen real quick?"

"Yeah, sure."  He happily followed her through the door to the kitchen.

Dean grabbed his suitcase and turned to Cas. "So...shall we?"

"Yes." Cas picked his own up.

"Alright.  Follow me."  Dean headed upstairs and Castiel followed slowly, still looking around the house.  He looked to Dean as well, who seemed oddly uncomfortable. 

They walked into a guest room and Dean tossed his suit case down on the bed.  Castiel set his down on the floor beside the doorway.  Dean put his hands on his hips, looked around the room and sighed.

"Is everything alright, Dean?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah.  Just...well...I didn't mention this before, but, this is the house I grew up in.  This was my old room...course it looked nothin like this back then." He gestured at the nice big bed and standard floral-y guest room decor as  he explained, meeting Castiel's eyes for only a quick second. "We lived here til cancer took our mom, so...Sammy doesn't really remember it.  He was just a baby."

"Oh.  I see."  Castiel nodded, forlorn.

"It's alright though.  Let's head back down and eat whatever the hell that is that smells so awesome."  He walked past Cas, patting him on the shoulder on the way out.

Castiel looked around the room one last time, then followed behind him.

 

*****

They were all sitting at the large dining room table enjoying a huge meal that Castiel repeatedly complimented Jess on.

"I would love to know your recipes for...all of this."

"Oh, it's nothing special." She laughed, blushing lightly. "But sure, I'll tell you all my cooking secrets."

Castiel's eyes went wide with wonder, not picking up on the sarcasm. "Thank you!"  He sounded so sincerely grateful that everyone had to laugh.  Castiel didn't get what was so funny, but that was nothing new.

They all engaged in friendly conversation, catching up with one another, and getting to know Castiel.  Castiel got to know them as well, he was eager to learn as much as possible.  He found out that Jess was a real estate agent, and was the one who found out the house was on sale.  She and Sam jumped at the chance to purchase it and got a great deal on it. 

They talked about the house for a while, Dean not not really contributing much aside from an occasional nod while he chowed down on food.  Castiel was too invested in the conversation to take notice of Dean's clamming up.

Eventually his silence infected the conversation causing it to sort of fall from there into an increasingly awkward silence.  It was all silverware on plates and chewing sounds.  Eyes dodged around. 

"So...alright," Dean wiped his fingers off with a cloth napkin, then dabbed the corners of his mouth, and slammed his hands on the table making everything clatter. "I gotta say it.  Sam...it's totally fucking weird that you live here."

"Dean."  Sam responded, stern.

Castiel turned to Dean, with wide, shocked eyes.

"I'm sorry, but it just is.  I mean everywhere I look there are memories...that _you_ don't have, and it's just weird, okay?"

"Yeah, you're right.  I don't have memories here.  I don't really remember _our mother_ , but maybe this place makes me feel close to her some how.  I've explained all of this to you before already, Dean.  Do you really not get it? Or do you just not give a shit?"

"Whoa, dude, that's not fair.  I'm just sayin it feels weird for me, that's all.  I mean...when we moved outta here, Dad was-"

"I know, Dean.  Just...try and focus on the good memories.  Please." Sam pleaded.

"Yeah, okay." 

The rest of the meal was, as one would imagine, awkward and heavy with silence.  Jess brought out dessert anyway, an apple pie, Dean's favorite.  He was grateful for it, but still clearly uncomfortable.

Afterwards, they all contributed to cleaning up.  Castiel helped Jess with the dishes, and Dean walked by, pinching him on the ass.  He jumped up and squeaked, which was of course the reaction Dean was looking for.

"I'm gonna go out for a drive.  Be back in a bit."

Cas nodded, his eyes following Dean as he left the kitchen.  Jessica smiled over at him, assuring him Dean would be fine. 

Sam was standing out on the porch drinking a beer.  Castiel joined him.

"Sam."  He greeted, standing behind the taller man.

"Whoa, Cas." Sam jumped with a laugh, "Snuck up on me there."

Castiel ducked his head down slightly and moved to stand next to Sam. 

"Look uh, sorry about earlier.  Dean's just gets weird when it comes to family stuff. Our past, I mean."

"It's alright." Castiel's eyes squinted a bit as he looked forward out at nothing in particular.  "I have noticed that Dean seems...uncomfortable opening up about your family's history.  I don't know much of it, other than how your mother died..."

"Oh yeah?  He didn't tell you about our dad then."  Cas shook his head.  "He uh, he killed himself.  Dean told me he just...completely changed after our mom died.  It just got worse and worse until, I dunno, he just couldn't deal with it anymore.  Dean was always real close with him, but not me so much.  We fought constantly.  Still, it was rough when he died." Sam looked off, pensive, not really sad looking though.  "I was about...11.  Dean was 13."

"What a horrible time in a boy's life to be without a father."  Castiel stared up at Sam, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes big with concern.  He felt deep sorrow for the boys, but was in a way glad to have this new and important piece of the Winchester puzzle.  "It's truly remarkable that you both turned out to be such great men."

"Ha, yeah we did alright.  We had a lot of help from family friends...Bobby, and Ellen.  They sorta became like surrogate parents in a way."  Sam explained that they were their neighbors during the time they lived in a small house with their dad.  Bobby was the mechanic that Dean worked for on occasion, and Ellen was his wife.  "Gave us advice when we needed it, whipped us into shape when we were feeling sorry for ourselves...and busted our asses when we got in trouble." Sam laughed, reminicisng.  "We'll probably go see em while Dean's here for Christmas.  You're obviously welcome to come."

"Thank you, I would like that."

Castiel felt full and warm with information, albeit a bit sad given what he was told.  Still, he couldn't wait to speak with Dean about it. 

Dean had apparently gotten home already while Castiel was out speaking with Sam, so he jogged up the stairs and went into the room they were staying in.  Dean was getting undressed and ready for bed.

"Hey, there you are.  Have fun talkin with Sammy?  He didn't bore you with nerdy crap did he?"

"No, I enjoyed our conversation."

"Good."  Dean stretched, stuffing his clothes back into his suitcase.  Castiel watched him, emotions flooding in as everything Sam just told him swam through his mind.

He couldn't contain himself, he needed Dean's perspective.  Dean's feelings.  "Sam told me about your father."  His body was tense and his fists clenched as those words spilled out of his mouth.

Dean sighed.  "Oh yeah?" 

"Yes.  Dean,"

"Listen,"  Dean cut him off, "whatever you're about to say, just save it.  I've heard it all before.  Don't need the pity."

Castiel's face scrunched up in confusion.  He didn't feel pity, and he didn't plan to offer any empty apologies about Dean's father's death. 

"I just wanted to ask if you had anything you wanted to tell me about it...or about anything..."  He trailed off and swallowed, his eyes nervously skittering around the floor. 

"Nothin to say." 

Dean climbed into bed, and Castiel began to remove his own clothing down to his undershirt and boxers, then followed suit, slowly scooting down into the covers next to  Dean.  They were both lying on their backs, separated, and staring up at the ceiling.  Castiel had his legs straight out, and his hands on his chest, fingers interlaced, looking like he was lying in a coffin.  Dean has his legs crossed at the ankles and his arms were up above his head, elbows bent, and tucked underneath his pillow.

They both looked up in silence for several slow minutes.

Dean let out a deep, long sigh, leaving his lips slightly parted with a thought resting on his mouth.  Castiel turned to him, ready to listen. 

"My dad punched me in the jaw when I told him I thought I might like boys the same way I liked girls."

Castiel's eyes went huge with shock, and he felt them start to burn immediately.

"He said he did it to knock the queer outta me.  I was 10 years old." 

Castiel couldn't believe what he was hearing.  Coming out to his parents certainly wasn't pleasant for him, and it took them a little while to understand, but they never punished him for it.  His family was an amalgam of all different types of people of various races and from other countries.  They were all adopted by his mother and father, who, although were very religious, still had an understanding that all of their children were unique.  Castiel had his issues with self-esteem, but none had to do with him being gay.  He couldn't even begin to imagine his father doing something like Dean's did.  His eyes were hot with the tears getting ready to immerge from them, and he swallowed hard a few times, feeling a lump in his throat.

"We were never the same after that.  We used to be super close, did everything together.  Went huntin', fishin'...took me out to a gun range all time.  After that fight though, we just drifted apart slowly.  Sam and I saw him spiral down deeper into depression...I mean, he was just fucked after mom died...he never got over it.  Just got worse with time, which shouldn't be how it is, but...I dunno...one day Sammy and I came home from school and found him dead.  It was just...strange, the whole thing.  I cried at the funeral...but...not about him bein’ dead, about _losing him._ About how I had already lost him years before he died."

Castiel was sobbing, his whole body shaking.  Tears were flooding out of his burning hot eyes and soaking his cheeks.  He was completely overwhelmed with a million different emotions.  He felt forlorn for his lover, but he welled up inside as he learned things about him.  He craved information about Dean, and he was stuffed with it, overflowing.  He was bawling.

Dean rolled over toward Castiel and wrapped his arms around him, tugging him in close. 

"Hey now, it's okay, baby.  Cas, it's alright. Everything's alright.  ‘Cause I got you, now." He hugged Cas in tight whose fists were balled and pressed up against Dean's chest.  He was crying so hard, his shoulders going up and down with every gasp and sob.

"I just...the thing with my Dad...I dunno, I just never got past it.  S'why I barked at Sammy, and then at you.  I'm sorry, Cas.  I'm so glad you're here though.  So glad I have you."

Castiel was crying and crying, growing short of breath.  He gasped in air, choking and swallowing.  He couldn't remember the last time he cried this hard.  He knew it was well before he'd ever met Dean. 

"I should just stop talkin' huh?" Dean chuckled softly as Cas nodded.  He whispered into his angel's ear, "Just breathe, baby, just breathe." They both breathed deeply, in and out, in time with each other.  Castiel finally calmed himself, with Dean's guidance.  Dean rolled him over onto his back, then reached for a tissue from the box on the bedside table, and began to dab the tears off of Cas' face. 

Dean kissed Castiel's cheeks, tasting the salty residue of his tears, then kissed his lips.  His lips were soft, but dry, unlike Castiel's wet ones, and the contrast in texture made their lips feel sticky as he pulled away. 

"Angels shouldn't cry." Dean whispered, as he peered into Castiel's glistening eyes that reflected the moonlight pouring in from the window.  Dean could still tell how blue they were, even in such a dark room.

Castiel looked up at Dean’s eyes, that looked like they might be growing wet with tears themselves, and he selfishly hoped that they weren’t.  There’s no way he could handle seeing Dean cry, not now.  Castiel inhaled deeply.

"I love you."

Dean grinned at that, his smile causing all kinds of happy creases in his face. 

"I love you too, Cas."  He lowered his head and kissed the man beneath him, holding their lips together, softly pressed, for a while.

Eventually they both rolled over on their sides, Castiel's back burrowed into Dean's chest, and the two stayed tangled together the rest of the night. 


	8. Chapter 8

On Saturday evening, the weekend before Christmas, Castiel went with Dean, Sam, and Jess to a restaurant the brothers always go to when they’re in their hometown together. 

The Winchesters bickered with each other about silly things, much like they used to do next to Castiel’s locker in high school, Jess scolded them, and Cas watched them enjoying every second of it.

“Cas’ll agree with me on this:  Pie beats out cake every time. No question.  Cake’s great, but a pie is like…a warm, fruit filled hug.”

“We all know how you like fruity hugs.”  Sam quirked a defiant brow at his older brother.

“Fuck you!”  Dean threw a french fry at his brother’s face, and they all laughed.

Castiel pondered the debate thoughtfully, just as he used to back in the day.         

“Though they’re both dessert pastries, I believe they are both too different to pick one over the other.  They are both excellent for the respective occasions they’re suited for.”

“Very compelling, Cas.  A fair assessment.”  Jessica nodded at him appreciatively, then looked to Sam and Dean.  “Boys? Anything to add?”

“How bout ‘screw logic, pie rules’?”

“How ‘bout ‘shut your cake hole, Dean'?”

Jessica laughed.  “You idiots are hopeless.”

Castiel just shook his head and grinned.

They went on to other nonsense topics and after a while, Dean started to look around, patting his pockets like he was searching for something.

“Damn.  Hate to be ‘that guy’, but I think I left my phone in the car.  I’m gonna go look for it.”  He looked to Cas, “Be right back.”

Castiel watched him leave.  It felt like a strange thing to cause Dean concern, as he never seemed to Castiel like he was overly attached to his cell phone.  Treated it like an annoyance more than anything, though it was a necessity.  It gave Cas a weird feeling.

Dean had seemed somewhat distracted the moment they walked in, but Castiel couldn’t pinpoint by what.  After last night, he felt he shouldn’t pry into Dean’s business at the moment, hoping the evening would be good-spirited and enjoyable.

Over ten minutes went by and Dean still hadn’t returned.

“Dean’s been gone a while.” Jess looked behind her at the entrance.

Sam didn’t seem at all worried. “Maybe he can’t find the phone in the car or something.”

Castiel clenched his fists on his lap.  He had a bad feeling that he couldn’t shake for some reason.  Surely Dean was fine, he had just gone out to look for his phone, and Sam’s guess was sound.  Still though, Castiel got up without another thought.

“I’m going to go check on him.”  He walked toward the door with a quick stride.

Castiel looked to the Impala and didn’t see Dean, then looked around the parking lot, still not seeing him.

He felt dread in the pit of his stomach, and a chill overcame his body like needles.

“Dean!” He called out as he looked on the right side of the building.  No Dean there.  He walked around to the left side and still saw nothing.  He walked further down the side of the building and he started to hear voices.  Angry sounding voices.  Actually, just one voice.  A vaguely familiar one…he couldn’t place it.

Castiel ran until he reached the source of the voice at the back of the restaurant and his eyes went wide with horror.  It belonged to that older student back in his freshman year of high school.  The one that beat up Dean.

Apparently he wanted a repeat performance.

He was beating the shit out of Dean, clutching onto his collar and socking him over and over in the face.  Dean was kneeling down, just taking it.  Hands clutching on the arm that was gripping his shirt.

“Hey!” Castiel shouted, quaking with the anger that was rising up, hot like flames from deep within him. 

The older man chucked Dean down to the ground, turning to Cas.  “Oh look, it’s your little faggot boyfriend.  I remember you from school too.  Weird little fucker. Come to take your medicine too?” 

Castiel glared up at him, angrier than he’d ever felt in his life.  He was on fire, fueled by rage and fear for Dean’s current condition. 

The man took a swing at Castiel’s face, who dodged it, returning it with his own fist and connecting with his opponent’s nose. 

“You little…” The bastard managed to make his next punch make contact with Castiel’s face, but Castiel didn’t falter, just took the hit and came back for more.

They threw punches back and forth, until finally Castiel was able to grab his opponent’s arm and yank it behind his back.  He kicked the older man to the ground, still gripping onto the arm tight, pulling it back, about ready to yank it right the fuck off.

“You.  Go away.  Now.”  Castiel growled and kicked the back of his enemy’s head, making it fall flat on the ground. 

The older man started to get up, cursing at them both, but Cas cut him off with an even deeper growl.  “Now.”

He took off.

Castiel lowered his shoulders, exhaling, then turned and ran to Dean.  He knelt down beside the injured man, lifting him up in his arms and cradling him. 

“Dean?  Dean, wake up.”  Castiel shook him.  “Dean!”  He began to shiver.  Dean was breathing, but wasn’t waking up.  What if he had a concussion?

“Dean, please.”  His voice had gone shaky as his breathing had begun to quicken with panic.  He heard Sam off in the distance calling out to both of them at the front of the restaurant.

“Sam!”  Castiel screamed for him, desperate.

Sam arrived at the scene and froze in his tracks upon seeing it.  “Oh my God! What the hell happened?!”  He ran over to the injured pair, placing a hand on Castiel’s back and grabbing one of Dean’s limp arms. 

Castiel tried to explain between panicked breaths.  “A man…man from high school...beating up Dean…I stepped in.  He’s gone.  Dean won’t answer me.”

“Alright, okay.  It’s gonna be okay.”  He patted Castiel’s back and got up to call 911.

Castiel could only barely hear Sam talking to the operator or Jessica who joined them after a few minutes.  All he could focus on was Dean.  His eyes searched over the horror he held in his arms.  Why did this happen?  Why?

He pressed his forehead to Dean's.

“Dean…please wake up…”

 

*****

In the hospital, Dean was finally awake.  He had gotten knocked out, but didn’t suffer a full on concussion.  Now that the blood was cleaned off, he didn’t look nearly as bad.  Still bruised and cut here and there, but not looking corpse-like anymore.

Castiel was sitting up close in a chair beside the bed and Sam was standing on the other side.

“Dean, what happened back there?"  Sam asked.  "I remember when that guy beat you up back in high school, but what the hell’s his problem now?” 

“Just doesn’t like my face I guess, I dunno.  He was mean-muggin’ me the second we walked in that restaurant.”

Castiel hadn’t noticed him in restaurant.  He felt a bit guilty about that now.

“I saw him go outside and I followed him out there to see what was up, and he just started whaling on me.”

“Well that dick’s not getting away with it this time.  He’s about to be balls deep in a lawsuit that’s gonna ruin his life.  And Cas, don’t worry,” He looked to his brother’s boyfriend reassuringly. “I know you kicked his ass, but you’ll get off on self-defense no problem if they decide to bring it up.”

Sam walked out to join his fiancé in the hallway, leaving Castiel and Dean alone together.

“Dean…”

“Cas, thanks for being my hero again.  Just like old times, right?” He let out a remorseful laugh.  “I swear I’m not always such a huge pussy.”

Castiel tilted his head, concerned and confused. “What do you mean?”

“Just…well…I never told you why he beat me up all those years ago did I?”

“No.”

“Uh…well, earlier that day he caught me in the gym locker room kinda staring at him.  This was back when I was in total denial about my feelings towards men, but I just wasn’t thinking and I blatantly checked him out while he was changing.  He did _not_ like that.”

Castiel’s face scrunched up, he looked to the floor for a second and back up at Dean who continued the story.

“The PE coach came in before anything happened to me in the locker room, but later when he saw me in the cafeteria he walked over, picked me up outta my seat, called me a ‘fuckin' faggot’, and socked me one.  I can hold my own in a fight normally, and I tried to then, but…something about getting my ass kicked for that reason just…makes me freeze up.  I flash back to my Dad.  I know I should be well past it by now, but…I dunno.  It’s pathetic, I know.”

Castiel shook his head, and glued his eyes onto Dean’s.  “No, it isn’t.  No one should be punished for who they are.  How they feel.  And you have been.  More than once, which is just…” He looked down, shaking his head again in disbelief.  “It’s not something you should be expected to just get over.”

He couldn’t fully relate to Dean, and it killed him.  He had gotten picked on for being gay, and just for being different in general, but never beaten mercilessly like Dean was. 

Dean’s image gave people certain expectations that he completely shattered, leaving everyone bewildered in his wake.  It made Castiel fall completely in love with him, but he supposed it just made other people angry and insecure. 

Castiel took Dean’s hand in his and squeezed it tight, pulling it up to his lips and giving it a tender kiss.

Dean smiled and winked at him.  He was able to miraculously take the whole thing in stride, and Castiel admired him so much for that.

“Oh well.  Sammy’s gonna sue that son of a bitch for all he’s worth, which probably ain’t much, but still, we’ll be laughing our gay asses off all the way to the bank.”  He looked to Cas. “Am I right?”

Castiel let out a soft breath of laughter through his nose and nodded.  “You’re right.”

 

*****

The next couple of days they all just stuck around the house, talking and relaxing. 

Castiel would find himself staring at Dean, lost in concern for his mate's wounds.  He would catch himself and snap out of it, not wanting Dean to feel pitied.  It wasn't pity he felt, he felt a million other things, but not pity.  He just wanted those marks to go away...for Dean's pain to go away.

The bruises and cuts weren't looking too badly at all.  Just a few dark spots on his face.  Dean took it all in stride, though still occasionally making sarcastic complaints.

Dean was studying his face in the reflection of a mirror in Sam and Jess's living room.  He had his hand on his chin, turning his head from side to side.

"The guy just had to go after my money maker, didn't he?  Good thing I got a while before my next shoot."

Castiel sheepishly scooted up behind him, rocking to the side with his hands behind his back.  "I'd still pay top dollar to look at you."

"Oh would you now?" Dean replied flirtatiously while wrapping his arms around his lover's waist and pulling him close into a deep kiss.  "Well, I accept cash," He kissed Cas's cheek, "check," then his jaw, "or credit."  then moved down to suck at his neck.

"Ewww!"  Sam had entered the living room through the kitchen door, catching his brother and boyfriend mid-snog.  "You guuuuys!"

Castiel started to pull away, believing Sam's exaggerated reaction to be sincere, but Dean wouldn't have it.  He encased Cas in his arms and began peppering kisses all over his face.  Castiel had his hands pressed against Dean's chest trying to push away and was positively giggling.  "Dean!" He shouted between bouts of laughter, his face getting wet with kisses, but Dean wasn't letting up and all the while Sam was protesting in a mock childlike whine. 

Dean finally looked up from his kiss attack and turned to his brother, quirking an inquisitive brow.  "Oh, I'm sorry.  Did you need something?"

Sam picked up a pillow from the couch and chunked it at their heads.  Dean caught it before it landed on the floor.  It was one of those pillows with a saying stitched on it.

"Oh this is nice," he began mockingly, "Did you knit this yourself or did Jess help you?"

"Her grandmother knitted that for us, thank you very much.  Try to contain your jealousy."

Castiel turned the pillow to him so he could read it aloud.  "'You don't choose your family.  They are God's gift to you, as you are to them'."  

"Uh, excuse me, God?  Yeah, I'd like to make a return."  Dean acted out the scenario.

"I'm gonna throw the entire couch at you." Sam retorted pretending to actually reach for the couch to lift it. "Just come and help me set up the dinner table."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

They all laughed.   Castiel shook his head.  He loved those two idiots so much.

 

*****

The next morning was Christmas Eve, and Castiel insisted on making breakfast for everyone.  He even got up early to go buy ingredients, making sure not to wake anyone on the way out.  Jessica and Sam had been such gracious and welcoming hosts and he really wanted to repay their kindness.  

Castiel smiled the whole way as he walked to the nearby market.  He hadn't had a Christmas this good in many, many years.  It had only been a couple of days, but he was really starting to feel like a part of the family.  Of _Dean's_ family, which was more special to him than could possibly be quantified.  The wind blew cold on his face, but he felt so warm inside with his thoughts that he hardly noticed the climate. 

Castiel had just finished making a huge stack of pancakes, and was about to start scrambling the eggs when he felt a strong pair of arms snake around his waist from behind.

"Good morning, Dean."

Dean was placing kisses on Cas' neck, just under his hair line.  "Mornin', bacon." Dean greeted as he sniffed the wonderful fragrance in the air. "I mean, Cas." He corrected himself it as if the mistake wasn't intentional.

Castiel chuckled while Dean kissed him up and down the side of his neck, sucking slightly on the flesh.  He nuzzled Castiel's stubbly chin, while traveling up to an ear, nibbling on the lobe.

"Dean," Cas shut his eyes for a moment with pleasure, but had to protest.  "Dean, not now."

"Alright, alright."  He slowly unraveled his arms from around Castiel's waist and backed up.  "Later?"

Castiel blushed, a small smile gracing his face, which Dean took as confirmation.  "Later."  Dean said as he nodded confidently with his lips pursed, then grabbed plates and silverware to set the table.

 

*****

It was later, and Castiel was sitting on the couch, feeling content as he watched the colorful lights on the Christmas tree in the living room flicker.  His eyes went up and down the branches, examining every ornament hanging from them.  They all looked unique, like they had been collected throughout Jess' and the Winchesters' lives.  His favorite was one that must've been made by Dean of his name molded in clay.  He stared at the ornament, picturing little Dean concentrating on forming the letters when big Dean walked through the kitchen door holding a couple of beers.  He handed one to Castiel and sat down next to him, close. 

Jessica's parents were over and she and Sam were talking to them in the dining room.  Dean and Castiel wanted to give them some space...and wanted a bit of time alone.

Castiel figured they would just hang out, drink and talk, but Dean had different plans.  He wrapped an arm around Cas' shoulders and cupped his cheek with the other.  Castiel closed his eyes expecting a soft kiss as Dean leaned in, and got anything but.  Dean was kissing him absolutely breathless, their mouths open wide and tongues twirling around each other.  Castiel's eyes were squeezed shut and his hands were gripping at Dean's neck and shoulder as he began to slip into ecstasy, falling prey to Dean's powers.  The world around him began to escape his recognition, and he had to put a stop to it before things went too far.  He certainly hadn't grown a tolerance for the Dean-induced trances, but he was beginning to know the signs of them when they threatened to take him over. 

He pushed Dean away with a shrill gasp.  "Dean. We can't do this right now, not with...I mean," He was panting. "What if someone walks in?"

Dean eyed Cas' lips, licking his own and smirking.  "They won't."  He palmed at Castiel's crotch, clutching lightly at the ever growing erection.

Castiel's entire body jolted up at the touch, and he clasped his hands on Dean's, lifting it off of him.  "Dean." He growled. "I mean it.  Let's just...talk for a bit."

Dean reluctantly removed his hand, but kept the other on Cas' shoulder, massaging it.  "Alright.  Let's talk.  What'd you get me for Christmas?"

Castiel shyly smiled.  "I'm not telling, but I think you'll like it." 

"Aw, come on.  Gimme a hint."  Dean cooed as his eyes were going back and forth from Castiel's lips to his eyes. 

Castiel sighed, his fists clenched at his sides and his legs fidgeting.  "No." 

"Is there a bed involved?  Are we naked?"

"Oh, I figured Christmas sex went without saying."

"Mmmm," Dean nodded, chuckling low with his mouth closed.  "Fantastic."  He leaned in close to Cas' ear, his lips brushing it as he whispered, "I wanna fuck you so bad, Cas."

The whisper turned into a wet, warm tongue sliding inside Castiel's ear, who shuddered at the feel and the sentence just uttered. 

"You will."  He managed to say, shakily.  His dick was hard as hell now, and he thought about excusing himself, but before he could he felt a hand back on his crotch, grabbing at his ever hardening erection.

"Lemme suck you, baby."  Dean whispered with a gravelly rumble in his ear, vibrating his entire being.

"Dean, no.  If someone caught us..."

"No one's gonna catch us."  Dean started to slowly unzip Castiel's pants, breathing hard and hot against his neck.  "I'll be listening out for anyone."

"Mmmf..." Castiel whimpered as Dean peeled down his pants and boxers.  "Good."  He hoped Dean meant that, because there would be no way Cas would be able to hear a damn thing during this.

Dean gripped Cas' hard on, earning a gasp, leaned forward, and just before taking all of Cas in his mouth he said, "I'll make it fast."

And he did.  He sucked Castiel hard, in and out, fast, with the vigor and skill of a fucking porn star.  Castiel couldn't help but buck up off the couch, thrusting into it.  He gripped onto Dean's shoulder with one hand, and covered his mouth on the other, muffling his imminent cries. 

Before he knew it, the world had vanished around them.  The only noises entering his ears were Dean's wet slurps and hot moany breaths.  Dean hummed low onto Castiel's dick, giving him one slow suck with his tongue licking the bottom of his cock on the way up it. He let the tip of Castiel's dick rest on his lips as he whispered, "Castiel," hot and low, before taking Cas back in his mouth.  This evoked a loud grunt from Castiel, who's hand was unable to quiet it, and he came forcefully into Dean's mouth.  Dean swallowed it all, licking the tip when he finished. 

He grabbed his beer and took a long pull off it as he sat back down on the couch.  "Holy fuck that was hot."

Castiel nodded in agreement while trying to catch his breath.  Dean fastened Castiel's pants back up for him, as Cas was far too spent to do it himself.

Slowly, his surroundings came back into focus, and he lifted his head back up from previously leaning on the back of the couch.  He blinked and shook his head, like he was coming too from fainting.  Maybe he was.

Dean chuckled at him with a look of adoration, and handed him his beer.  Castiel downed the entire thing.

Dean's eyes went wide at the sight, his chuckle turning into a hearty laugh, as he said, "I fuckin' love you."

Castiel wiped his mouth, his eyes flicking from the floor to Dean's, and his cheeks dusted pink.  "I love you too, Dean."

 


	9. Chapter 9

It was Christmas morning and the windows where fogged, shielding the warm home from the cold air outside.  A light snow was falling down, sprinkling the streets and coating the rooftops. 

Castiel, Dean, Sam, and Jess all sat in their pajamas together in the living room by the flickering Christmas tree drinking coffee (tea, for Cas) and surrounded by presents.  Jess was sitting in a chair, Sam was on the floor, his arm resting on a bended knee, Castiel was also on the floor, sitting cross legged and Dean was on the side of the couch closest to Cas. 

Castiel was nervous about all the presents he got for everyone that day.  Usually his gift purchasing was narrowed down to flowers he'd send his sister, or whatever Gabriel was begging him for at the time.  He hadn't had to put so much thought into gifts in a long time, if ever.  And this, of course, was an incredibly important Christmas, if not the most important one ever, and he wanted to make everyone happy.  He didn't want anything to ruin this closeness he was feeling. 

He was pretty confident in his gift for Dean though.  Anytime Dean asked about it, he couldn't hold back a grin. 

Sam got Jessica some lovely jewelry, to which Dean commented, "Uh, dude where's mine?" He fluttered his eye lashes and Sam shook his head. 

"Well, funny you should say that, actually."  He handed a small bag to his older brother.  Dean opened it, and smiled huge as the gift was revealed.  It was a black necklace with a rather unique gold amulet.  Sam explained that it he got it for Dean when they were both very young, and Dean lost it at one point and was devastated.  Sam rediscovered it one day while digging through old boxes that were in storage and knew it'd 'blow Dean's mind'.  It clearly did.  Dean gave his brother a big hug, with a big toothy grin.  Castiel could swear he saw Dean's eyes get a bit glossy.

Dean then handed Sam his gift.  "Here ya go, Sammy.  It ain't really sentimental, but I know you'll like it."  It was, to Sam's sheer delight, the newest ipad.  Dean had set it up with a background image of himself. 

"Really, dude?"  Sam turned it around so everyone could see.  It was of Dean, shirtless, with his lips at maximum poutage. 

"Psh, yeah.  Obviously."

They all laughed, and Castiel felt his cheeks get hot.  That's totally a background he'd sincerely use.

Castiel got Sam and Jess a nice bottle of wine that they said they'd definitely drink later on, a $100 Visa gift card, and a framed picture of Sam, Jess, and Dean that he found on Dean's facebook. 

"I hope that's not...weird."  Castiel said nervously. 

They laughed.  "Not at all!"  Jessica assured him.  "It's very sweet, Cas, I love it.  Thank you for everything!"

"Yeah, thanks Cas."  Sam smiled and reached one of his giant arms over to pat Castiel on the shoulder.

"You're very welcome."

"Alright, Cas.  Your turn.  Hope you like everything."  Dean handed Castiel a very nicely wrapped box.  Jess took credit for the excellent wrapping job. 

They were all watching Cas as he carefully unwrapped the box.  He suddenly felt nervous, his heart was a flutter and he felt hot all over.  He hadn't even seen the gift inside yet, so this did not bode well.  He was definitely going to embarrass himself here, but he ventured forth regardless.

He opened the box and lifted out a folded, black piece of clothing.  He unraveled it, splaying it out in front of him to reveal an extremely nice looking black trench coat.  It was very sleek, and felt like heavy, good quality fabric, like the tan one Dean got him.   Castiel was grinning from ear to ear.  Two trench coats!

"Well, whaddaya think?  Now you can switch em out with your mood." Dean jested, excitedly.  "Plus...I figured, since I gave you one early, I'd get you another to actually open on Christmas." 

Castiel's grin was wide as ever, and he nodded.  "Dean, I love it.  I really love it."  He stared at it, brushing his hands down it, feeling the smooth material.

"Awesome," Dean was sporting a pretty wide grin himself.  "but that ain't all, keep diggin."  He nodded toward the box.

Castiel lifted out a black leather book that said "For Castiel" printed in silver cursive on the front cover.  He opened it up and his eyes went wide and his jaw dropped.  It was a photo album made up of the photographs Crowley took of Castiel and Dean in New York.  They were stunning photos; their skin glowed, their hair shined, and their eyes sparkled, piercing through every page.  They looked incredibly happy, and really fuckin' sexy. 

Castiel went further and further into shock as he flipped through the pages.  He was just as entranced by the photos as Dean made him feel in person, only this was different.  He was looking at the two of them as a couple from the outside.  It solidified their relationship in his mind, but at the same time the photos were so spectacular that it felt like he was seeing this famous, untouchable couple. 

He ran his hand softly down each photo as he turned the page, studying them intently as he traced his finger around the faces and bodies.  He was grinning as wide as his mouth physically could, his eyes were getting warm as they filled with moisture, and his heart was thumping in his chest.  He got to the last page which had a photo of them kissing.  Castiel's eyes were squeezed shut while Dean's were opened slightly, his lips turned up in a smile as they pressed onto Castiel's.  Cas could look at this one picture for the rest of eternity, but he had something better in real life.  He had Dean to kiss, whenever he wanted.  He was sure he was about to burst out crying, when Sam and Jess decided to chime in.

"Dean, those photos are amazing!  You have to let us have a copy that we can frame for the house."  Jess was smiling bright and looking teary eyed as well.

"Yeah, totally, but...preferably not one of the make out ones."  Sam got jabbed in the side by Jess's elbow for that. 

"Oh, you're getting a make out one.” Dean retorted.  “Wall sized, and hung above your bed." 

Castiel hadn't stopped staring at that last photo.  He hands were clutched on to either cover for dear life. 

"Perfect."  Sam replied to his brother before looking back into Cas' gift box.  "Hey, Cas, looks like there's still one other thing in there."  Sam pointed to an envelope at the bottom of the box.

Castiel lifted the envelope out of the box and started to open it.  His hands were positively trembling now.  Dean just watched on happily with his head resting on his hand that was propped up on the arm of the couch. 

Inside were two round trip tickets to Jamaica for next April.  Castiel gasped. 

"Yeah! That's right."  Dean boasted.  "I got a shoot booked there, but I figured why not make it a thousand times better by turning work into a sexy vacation with Cas?"

"Wow, Dean.  Kudos on that gift idea.  Seriously."  Sam nodded at his brother, impressed.  Jessica was stunned, with a hand clasped over her mouth.

Cas, true to form, was rendered speechless.  A billion different thoughts flooded through his brain like a monsoon.  This gift just promised _so_ much: that Dean wanted to spend an entire week with Castiel, that Dean thought they would last through til April, and that Dean _wanted_ them to last that long.  Castiel, of course, wanted them to last until the end of time, and it was looking more and more like Dean had a similar outlook.

It took Castiel a minute or so to gather himself, but when he finally did, he set all his gifts aside and walked on his knees to Dean, planting a big, loving kiss on his lips.

"Thank you, Dean."

Dean smiled and flushed.  "You're welcome."  He winked.

"Your turn."  Castiel said, standing up.  Dean followed suit. 

Castiel put his new coat on and walked towards the door nervously.  "This way, everyone."

 

*****

"Holy fucking shit." 

Dean nearly fell back when he beheld the gift parked on the street in front of him.  He gaped at it for a moment in silence, a hand placed on his chest.  He slowly started to approach it as if it were a timid creature that would run away if startled.    

He reached a hand out.  “This is a…”

“A 1967 Chevy Camaro.”  Castiel stated shyly, as he walked behind Dean, watching him. 

Dean ran his hands across the roof of the classic car and down the windshield.  The vehicle definitely needed some TLC(several dents, rust, faded and scratched off paint), but that was, of course, the idea.

“Cas, this is just…holy fucking shit.”

“Watch the language, ya idjit.”  A surly bearded man wearing a trucker hat immerged from the truck that towed the car to Sam’s house. 

“Bobby!”  Sam and Dean said in unison.

“Yep.  Merry Christmas.”  Bobby walked up looking at the car then back to Dean.  “I’m not hearin’ you say thank you.”  He tilted his head toward Cas.

Dean jolted alert, turned around and lifted Cas up off the sidewalk in his arms, twirling him around. 

“Cas, thank you! Seriously, thank you!  This is beyond awesome.”

“You like it?”  Castiel was beet red and smiling.

“I love it!  I can’t wait to take ‘er home and fix ‘er up.”  Dean still held fast to Castiel while he admired his gift with a huge grin spread across his face. 

“So you got this from Bobby’s?”  Sam inquired as he approached the car to admire it as well.

“Bobby helped me locate it, and tow it over obviously.”  Cas answered.  “Thank you again.” Bobby returned Castiel’s gratitude with a nod.

“Don’t mention it.  Well, actually, you can mention it again after I tow it to Dean’s.”

“Oh, hey, Bobby, I’ll take care of that.” Sam assured him. “I was gonna stay with Dean for the rest of the week anyway.”

Dean was still cradling Cas, swaying slightly while staring in awe at the car.  It seemed he was already planning how to restore it. 

Bobby snapped his fingers in front of Dean’s eyes.  “Uh, hello?  Let the poor man go so we can go inside.  It’s freezing out here.”

“You guys go ahead,” Dean’s eyes still hadn’t moved. “I’ll be another minute.”

Jess, Bobby and Sam exchanged pleased looks with each other before venturing back indoors. 

Dean finally turned away from the Camaro to look in his Cas’ glossed over blue eyes.

“Cas, baby, thank you.”

“Merry Christmas, Dean.”

They kissed each other, arms wrapped around their bodies, and a couple of tears trickled down crystallizing on their cheeks. 

 

*****

They all went over to Bobby and Ellen’s for dinner that night and had a great time.  Castiel and Bobby revealed how they had convened weeks before about getting Dean’s present and Dean seemed to be filling with more and more love for his gift and for Cas as the story went on.

Castiel had contacted Bobby the day after Dean mentioned him as an old family friend on their date.  He knew exactly what to get Dean for Christmas as soon as Dean told him about his love for restoring cars, but he really knew next to nothing about them, so hearing about Bobby felt like a window of opportunity that he couldn’t pass up. 

Bobby was very helpful, albeit a bit brash, but Castiel quickly learned that was just his personality.  He was thrilled to get to know Bobby, as he was, as it turned out, a big part of Dean’s life.  Castiel told him that money was no object, and Bobby seemed to know exactly what to get him, so that was that. 

“I love you two sneaky sons of bitches.”  Dean said affectionately, patting Bobby on the back and squeezing Castiel’s shoulder.

Later that night when they got back to Sam’s and Jess’, Dean leaned in close to Cas and whispered, “You ready to exchange the _other_ Christmas presents?” Castiel flushed, and nodded.  “Mmhm.”

They said their goodnights and went upstairs, hand in hand.

They began making out, almost immediately, as they peeled their clothes off of one another, standing in front of the bed.  Clothing was getting tossed everywhere and their lips barely parted when absolutely necessary.  Soon enough, they were both pressed together, nude, arms grabbing at each other and kissing violently.  Their cocks were both beginning to harden as they made contact. 

Dean parted their kiss for only a second to suck on his fingers before sliding a hand down to Castiel’s ass, palming and squeezing his bare cheeks, and pressing him in even closer.  Their kisses were loud and wet, and their breathy moans grew louder and louder as Dean stuck his moistened middle finger between Cas’ ass cheeks, slowly sliding it up and down.  Castiel gasped, and clutched Dean’s neck and shoulder, as they writhed against each other.  Dean slipped his middle and ring finger in Cas’ crease further, and further, rubbing up and down, and in and out. 

“Oh, God...Dean...” 

Dean hands grabbed and lifted Cas’ thighs wrapping both legs around his waist in one fell swoop and climbed onto the bed, falling onto it, his angel beneath him, panting with excitement and want. 

Castiel’s legs were still wrapped around Dean, but he lifted himself up a little bit more, displaying himself for the wild eyed man above him. 

“Oh, fuck, Cas, you are just...I need you, right now, baby.”  Dean’s eyes looked Cas up and down as he positioned himself, hips already in motion as he slicked up his hardness with precome and the saliva on his hand.

“Yes, Dean, please...I need you too.”  Dean didn’t hold off for another second, and he pushed inside Castiel, hard, eliciting a shout from Cas neither had heard before.  Dean grunted as he pushed in and out at an ever quickening pace.  Castiel was biting his lower lip and clutching onto to Dean’s biceps.  He begged Dean to go harder, faster.  Dean obeyed, but not without first lifting up Cas’ legs and resting both ankles on his shoulders.  His hand slid back down from Cas’ right ankle to the bottom side of his thigh, pressing down, way farther than Cas ever stretched, and he cried out in pain and pleasure.  Castiel's hands moved to his sides, grabbing at the sheets beneath him and pulling them out from the mattress more and more as he got thrust into. 

The headboard was banging loudly onto the wall and the bed was squeaking, would be almost comical in how movie-like it was, if either could even hear anything but the sounds they themselves were making.  They shouted and grunted and called each other's names.  Castiel’s legs were thrashing around at Dean’s sides, who had one hand on one of Cas’ and another hand around Cas’ neck, not choking it, but just grabbing on like he owned him, which he so fuckin' did. 

Dean’s dick was pulsing inside Castiel, about ready to burst, as Dean slowed his pace down and lowered down onto Castiel, his stomach starting to rub against Castiel’s own hard-on. 

“Cas, baby,” He gasped, “I’m close.”

“Mmm, Dean,” Castiel’s voice was hoarse and shaky, “Come in me.”

“Oh, fuck,” Dean started to quake, his head bowed down and pressed onto Cas’ chest.  “Ahh...Castiel!”  Castiel answered, arching up and coming all over their stomachs, and Dean came as well, filling Cas up completely.

Several minutes passed of Dean and Castiel lying side by side in blissful silence, Dean on his back, and Cas on his stomach, just basking in the afterglow.

Dean breaks the silence first.  “That was...wow.”

Castiel takes a moment to try and choose the right words to respond with, but gives up and just says what’s running on repeat in his mind.  “I’ve never had sex that rough before.”

Dean lets out a wheezy chuckle.  “Ya like it?”

“ _Yes_.”  Castiel responded almost forcefully.

“Well then,” Dean grinned widely, “how bout we make it a holiday tradition?”

Castiel laughed softly, “Yes, in the true spirit of Christmas...”

“Happy birthday, Jesus!” Dean cheered and Castiel cracked up. 

Another few quiet moments passed.  This time Castiel broke it.

“Can we make it an...every holiday tradition?”

Dean laughed appreciatively.  “You bet.  Happy Presidents' Day!  Happy Ground Hog Day!”  Castiel started cracking up again with his palm slapped to his forehead, blushing hard, as Dean continued to list obscure holidays. 

 

*****

Castiel slept most of the way home the next day, head resting in Dean’s lap as he drove, stroking his angel’s hair. 


	10. Chapter 10

During the remaining days of Christmas week, Gabriel decided to come down and visit Castiel, as Sam was doing the same with Dean.  Of course, Cas imagined, the Winchesters were having a more pleasant, perhaps even loving, time together.

"Dude, I hate you."  Gabriel bursts into Castiel's apartment, arriving without proper warning.  Castiel only ever knew the general information when it came to Gabriel's visits, such as the day it _might_ occur on.  Gabriel picked Thursday at 1:23 in the afternoon.  Not too bad, considering.

Castiel jumped at the shock of the noise of someone bursting through the door, but calmed immediately upon seeing who entered.  He looked up from the exam he was editing.  "What?"

"I mean, I love ya, but I hate you." 

"Elaborate."

"You're hittin this and you didn't even tell me?"  Gabriel yanked a crinkled page from a magazine out of the messenger bag slung over his shoulder and pointed to a picture of Dean modeling a watch(and nothing else).

"I didn't...I mean...we only just started seeing each other and-"

Gabriel waved his little brother quiet. "And you didn't want me ruining things before they got started."  He said it entirely too nonchalantly.  It was completely true though. "But, man, you didn't even tell Anna.  She called me and told me!"

"Wha-how did she find out?  I haven't spoken with anyone about it..."  It all felt too good to be true for Castiel to say anything.  The whole thing felt fragile, like if he poked at it, everything would shatter.  That was before the incredible holiday they just spent together though; now he was pretty confident in their relationship.  That is, until Gabriel continued.

"Oh she found some picture on the internet of you two making out at a club or something and she sent it to me.  Like, seriously, little bro, I gotta see your tongue down the guy’s throat before we're even properly introduced?  I mean, I remember him from high school and everything, but-"

"Why would there be a photo of that on the internet?"  Or, more importantly, _how_ could there be?  That had to have been at the club in New York...and they were far too preoccupied with rubbing against each other on the dance floor like logs igniting fire to interact with anyone else long enough for a photo to be taken.

"I dunno, probably some paparazzi guy took the picture and spread it around."

Castiel was dumbfounded.  Gabriel gaped at him waiting for a reaction, but didn't receive anything quickly enough so he carried on.

"Uh, you do know Dean Winchester is basically a supermodel right?"

"I know he is very successful-"

"No, no, you're not gettin' me.  I mean he's like, his fucking ass and face are everywhere level supermodel.  You really didn't notice?  I see the guy half naked on my TV hocking some man perfume or something like every day.  I remember seein' him on an episode of Dr. Sexy once!"  Gabriel tilted his head toward the TV next to the desk Castiel was sitting at.  "You have got to turn that thing on once in a while."  He settled into a chair next to Castiel's couch with his left ankle propped up on his right knee.

Pop culture was never really Castiel's area.  If he turned the TV on, it was to watch the news or history channel, or just to have some mindless sit-com on in the background while he cleaned his apartment.  Growing up, his sister would make him watch movies, and gush to him about the actors she thought were cute, but he didn't pay all that much attention.  Gabriel did the same, only it was with porn, so Castiel would never stick around for the details.  Celebrities and the like just never concerned him.  However, this was completely different.  This was _Dean_ and something he _should_ know because it was about Dean.  He wanted to know everything about Dean.  So how could this have happened?

Castiel of course knew how Dean would travel a lot for work, but he never went into detail about his trips.  Just, "Got a job at such-n-such place, see you soon" and though Cas was curious, he didn't want to pry.  He wanted to know everything, needed to know, but he refrained from asking out of fear of causing Dean any sort of discomfort. 

"You seriously had no idea, huh?"

"No."

"Man, that is _hilarious.”_

“Gabriel...what...what do I do?  Do I need to do something?  What do I say?”

“I dunno, Cassie, this is kinda unprecedented.” Gabriel chuckled. “Most people know when they’re dating a pseudo-celebrity.”

Castiel looked down and his eyes darted around the floor in panic. 

“I say quit your job and let him be your sugar daddy.”

“ _Gabriel.”_

“Okay, okay.  Why don’t we defer to the expert?”  Gabriel pulled his phone out of his jacket pocket, twirled it around in his hand, and put it on speaker, then dialed.

After about 4 rings, someone picked up.  “Gabriel! To what do I owe the pleasure?”  It was the charming British accent of their brother, Balthazar.  Castiel sighed.  He supposed Balthazar could be considered an expert, as he was another world traveler like Gabriel, but he basically traveled the world to bang exotic women, a lot of whom were indeed famous.  Castiel of course had no idea who any of them were, but he was informed of many of his brother’s conquests regardless.

Gabriel and Balthazar were absolutely laughing their asses off as Gabriel explained their poor, naive brother’s situation.

“Oh, God, Cassie, my darling dear, that is just _so you_ it hurts.”  Balthazar said while trying to catch his breath.  Castiel rubbed his thumb and forefinger on the bridge of his nose, exasperated by his brothers’ mockery.  “My advice to you is to continuously fuck that pretty boy’s brains out in the most creative ways you can come up with, and never ever let him get bored.  I can email you some experimental sex tutorials.”

Gabriel was still dying laughing as Castiel attempted to talk over him in protest.  “No, Balthazar, that will not be necessary.”

“I vehemently disagree.  I’m sending them.”  Balthazar began to crack up again.  “The instructions will have diagrams and everything.”

“Yes, of course they will.  Thank you.”  Castiel reached over and hung up on his brother cutting off his laughter. 

“Oh, come on, me n' Balth were just havin some fun with you.” Gabriel patted his little brother on the shoulder which did nothing to deter the glare he was receiving.  “Alright, alright, let’s call Anna.  She’ll have genuine help I’m sure.”

They called Anna, who sounded like she would slap Cas if she had been there for holding out on her, but her scolding soon turned to praise for her brother for his million year long crush finally becoming his boyfriend. 

“Okay, Castiel, listen.  Just, be honest with Dean.  Say what’s on your mind, exactly.  If Dean really loves you, which I’m pretty sure he does, considering he doesn’t seem to mind being seen with you all over the internet,” Castiel winced a bit at that as Anna continued, “then he’ll appreciate it.  I mean, I’m sure he has to deal with a lot of fake people in that industry.  You’re probably a breath of fresh air for him.”  Castiel perked up slightly, considering that.  He hoped it was true.

“But Cas,”

“Yes, Anna?”

“Above everything else...do not listen to Gabriel.  Or Balthazar.  Or any of our brothers, really.  Lucifer I’m sure will call.  Definitely don’t take any of his advice.”

“Yes, Anna.”  Castiel chuckled and Gabriel whined (“The hell, sis? Come on!”).

After they ended the call with Anna, Gabriel dragged his chair over next to Castiel at the desk, and looked up videos of Dean on Youtube.  There were several commercials with Dean looking absolutely incredible in each one.  Castiel fidgeted in his chair as he watched one of Dean on a beach, brooding at the camera, grains of sand sticking to his naked body as he rolled around on the shore all while Dean’s deep, growly sex-voice narrated it.  If Castiel had seen these commercials before his life would’ve been fucking ruined.  He never would’ve left the house.  He would’ve gotten fired, kicked out of his apartment, the government would’ve repo’d his stuff...

“Hey you’re not getting a boner over there are ya?”  Gabriel quirked a brow at his little brother.  “I’m just showing you examples so you know the level of fame of the dude you’re boning.  Oh, poor phrasing there; don’t start thinking about boning him now.”

Castiel just rolled his eyes.  Gabriel was clicking through other things, but Castiel’s mind started to travel to other places.  There was not only the matter of Castiel being pretty much oblivious to Dean’s fame, there was also the fact that though he was not currently, or at the time that photo in New York was taken, but he was at one point, Dean’s teacher.  If someone he worked with found out, would he get in trouble?  Dean was still enrolled at the school, though not taking any of Cas’ classes.  He leaned back in his chair, sighed, and rubbed his forehead.  This was getting to be a little bit too much. 

“Take it easy, little bro.  This isn’t really a bad thing.  Just do what Anna says and talk it out with him and it’ll be fine.  But...”

“What?”

“I do demand we be introduced.” 

Castiel’s lips turned up in a very tiny smile and he sighed yet again.  “Of course.”

“Awesome.  I wanna get my magazine cut out autographed so I can hang it above my bed.”

“Please do not do any of that.” 

 

*****

It was Friday evening, and the Winchester and Collins brothers were out for dinner.  They each had cheeseburgers, except for Sam who was enjoying a chicken salad of some sort.  Gabriel looked at the bowl of greens in front of Sam and couldn’t restrain himself.  “Listen, Lurch, if you need someone to watch your figure, I’d be happy to do it.”  Dean dropped a fry in shock, then glared at him, Sam looked at him in confusion, and Castiel just kicked him under the table and growled, “ _No_.”

Other than Gabriel’s occasional inappropriateness towards Sam, the dinner went pretty well.  Gabriel and Dean seemed to have some sort of mutual older brother respect, all the while making snappy comments at each other. 

“So, Sam,” Castiel inquired with his head cocked to the side,  “how long are you going to be in town for?”

“I’m staying through New Years.  Jess and her friends are going outta town to celebrate for some girl’s trip thing so Dean invited me to party with him.”

“Yeah, speakin' of which," Dean chimed in mid fry-munch, "Cas, I got an invite to a big New Years Eve party in Time Square.  Sammy’s gonna come.  You gotta come too.  It’s the best place in the world to be on New Year’s.”

Castiel blushed.  Another trip to New York City with Dean made him flash back to the previous one.  “Yes.  I would love to.”

“Aw, I don’t get an invite?”  Gabriel pouted.

“Yeah, you can come too,” Dean invited him with exaggerated reluctance, “as long as you stop hitting on my brother.”

Sam looked from Gabriel to Dean in confusion.  “Wait, what?”

“Sure, deal.  I’ll try my best to be distracted by the beautiful New Yorkers.  I wonder who’s gonna be doin the countdown this year.”  Gabriel looked off thoughtfully while tapping a french fry to his chin.

“I dunno.  I think Katy Perry’s performing.” 

“Oh, damn.  Game on.”

“Yeah, good luck with that.”  Dean replied sarcastically as he shoved his burger back in his mouth.

Castiel had his hands in his lap, clutching his knees, as he looked down grinning. He was beside himself with joy, totally forgetting for the moment about the concerns he needed to speak with Dean about.

After dinner they ventured out to a bar downtown.  Gabriel was hitting on some chicks, Sam was dominating a pinball machine, and Dean and Cas were standing in a secluded corner, Cas’ hands around Dean’s neck, and Dean’s hands on Cas’ hips.  Their faces were incredibly close together, lips nearly connecting, but not quite, as they spoke low to each other. 

“Sam and I spent all day yesterday on the Camaro to figure out what needs fixin’.  I put some part orders in today.  Should get em next week.”

The conversation topic would seem anything but sexual normally if it weren’t being whispered in hot breaths that rumbled into Cas’ ear, lips barely grazing his skin.  Dean was making it seem downright dirty, describing all the things he was going to do to the beautiful muscle car Cas got for him. 

“I’d love to watch you work on it.”  Castiel who had, of course, lost all sense of his surroundings some time ago, returned the growly whisper and moved a hand down to grab Dean’s ass.

“Come over anytime, baby.  And when she’s all fixed up,” Dean licked up Castiel’s neck to his jaw, making him shiver, “we’re gonna christen that back seat.”

“What do you mean?”  Castiel had a good idea, but he wanted Dean to tell him exactly what he planned to do to him.

Dean chuckled softly into Cas’s ear, tickling it, and making him shudder once more.  “I’m gonna fuck you so hard the car’s alignment’s gonna need to be fixed all over again.  The whole thing’s gonna be rockin’ back and forth with us.”  Dean started sucking hard at Castiel’s neck, bruising the flesh and biting at it. Castiel panted and whimpered.  If the music in the bar hadn’t been so loud, people around them would’ve been hearing some pretty obscene noises.  Dean moved Cas over and pressed him to the brick wall, wedging a thigh between his legs, rubbing at his hardness. 

Castiel grabbed Dean’s face and forced him into a deep, sloppy kiss and the two were positively dry humping in a public place, yet again.  Castiel never would’ve thought himself the type, and neither would his brother, who caught them and did a double take, but Cas could not resist Dean no matter what.  They could be in a church, they could be at a fucking funeral, and all it would take would be fiery green eyes, some Dean hands on his body and hot words on his neck for Cas to submit wholly.

Dean parted the kiss, but their grips on each other remained.  He was panting.  “We better stop.”  He laughed. “Or find a bathroom stall or closet or something.  I’m about to come in my pants.” 

“I concur.”  Cas grunted out.  He blinked a couple times, relinquished his grip on Dean’s neck and ass, and let reality sink back in.  To his extreme embarrassment, his eyes landed on Gabriel’s, who was leaning against the bar, looking back at him with a smirk and a quirked brow.  Sam was by his side with his face buried in his hands.

“Oh, God.”  Castiel really needed to get a handle on these Dean trances better. 

“What?”  Dean turned to find what Castiel was focused on and laughed.  “Oh hey,” He shouted out to their brothers with astounding confidence, “could you order us a couple beers?”

They walked back over to the bar, and Castiel was paranoid that his erection was showing, but Dean’s was and he sure didn’t seem to give a shit, so he relaxed slightly, although he still covered his crotch with his hands when he sat down on one of the stools. 

“Hey, don’t get blue balls on our account.  There’s a pool table you guys can go fuck on back there.”  Gabriel gestured with his thumb to the back end of the bar.

“Oh, God, dude!”  Sam exclaimed in disgust, and Dean just laughed. 

“Thanks for lookin’ out, Gabe, but we’ll be fine.”  Dean assured, returning the sarcasm.  “Besides, I ain’t lettin’ anyone get a show like that for free.” 

“Good call.  People would pay pretty good money to see that go down, I’m sure.”

“Please, _please_ stop.”  Sam begged, his fingers rubbing his eyes as if trying to erase the imagery Dean and Gabriel were causing in his brain.

Castiel was face down on the bar, head buried in his arms, mortified.  Older brothers.  The worst. 

 

*****

Dean booked them a huge suite in New York City in the hotel building that the party was going to be held.  Castiel and Sam dropped their luggage in awe as they walked into the room.  Dean grinned, and Gabriel nodded looking mildly impressed.

The floors were shiny white tile, and there were steps that led down into an expansive living area with two plush couches and a giant flat screen, even bigger than the one at Dean’s place.  There was another set of steps behind the couches that led up to a full bar that had a set of 4 cushioned stools.  There were also two bedrooms to their right, and one more to the left.  The wall facing the street had floor to ceiling windows and a huge balcony with lounge chairs and a table on it.  The place was designed for parties, drinking, and sex though it was just going to be the four of them.  The actual New Years Eve party was going to be on the roof of the building. 

“Dude, Dean, this place is...holy shit.”  Sam was wandering around examining everything, still awestruck. 

“I know, it’s a little over the top, but,” Dean looked at Cas and winked, “worth it.”

Castiel looked at Dean, his jaw was dropped and body frozen. 

Gabriel on the other hand went straight for the bar.  “Cocktails guys? I make a mean...anything, really.”

The other three boys nodded and Gabriel went to work mixing drinks.  Dean took he and Cas’ bags and brought them to what would be their room, while Sam took his to the room next to it. 

Castiel slowly walked forward and down the stairs and toward the window.  He pressed his hands to the glass and looked out at the sparkling, snowy city surrounding them. 

“Hey bro, you alright?  You look like you just walked through the pearly gates.” 

Castiel continued to stare outside.  “I feel like I might have.”

Gabriel chuckled, set the bottle of vodka he had just poured into four glasses down, and walked over next to his brother placing a hand on his back. 

“Cas, I know you’re finding all this hard to handle.  You always did get easily overwhelmed,” Gabriel was staring outside now, and Cas turned his gaze to him, “but I’m here to tell ya that it’s real.  This is happening. He clearly adores the shit out of you and you totally deserve it.  So loosen up!”  He grabbed his little brother’s arm and shook him, nearly causing Cas to stumble.  “Get drunk! It’s New Year’s Eve!”  He made his way back to the bar, “Let’s fuggin’ partay!”

Castiel shook off his trench coat (he wore the black one today), tossed it on one of the couches, walked up to the part and drank all four shots of vodka. 

“Whoa! Now we’re talkin!”  Gabriel laughed and poured four more, “Now wait til I actually finish mixing them this time.”

Dean and Sam walked back out.  “Hey you guys startin’ the party without us?”  Dean jogged up next to Cas and wrapped an arm around his waist, giving him a big kiss. “Whoa, vodka-y.” 

They each took a shot of some insanely sweet drink that Gabriel concocted.  The four boys were all nice and toasty when it was time for the party.

 

*****

The roof was tented and insulated, shielding the party goers from the icy cold winds, but they could still see the event on the street if they peered over, or just looked at the jumbo screen in the center of the space.

There were white couches and ottomans, a huge bar surrounding the jumbo screen, waiters with champagne, and just crowds and crowds of people.  Everyone was dressed to the nines, including the four boys of course.   Gabe split off from them immediately, already targeting some giggling blondes.  Dean signaled toward an empty area of seats for Sam and Castiel to go sit down while he ordered drinks for them. 

It was possible that some famous faces might have been among the crowd, but Castiel of course had no idea who anybody was, aside from one familiar face that caught his eye and began to approach.

“Hello there, blue eyes!  Long time no see.”  It was Crowley, the photographer, and he was giving Castiel a downright sinister smirk.  Sam quirked a brow, and Crowley looked over at him.  He leaned back slightly, taking in the sight, then gestured with his drink at Sam.  “Who’s the moose?”

“This is Sam Winchester.”

“Winchester?  Dean’s brother?”

Sam nodded.  “That’s right.  And you are?”

“Sorry. Crowley.  The name’s Crowley.  I’ve worked with your brother quite a few times.”

“He took the pictures from the photo album Dean gave me for Christmas.”

“Oh! Wow, well, those were really great.”

“Yeah, weren’t they?”  Crowley agreed confidently.  “I could’ve shot those two all day.  Especially this one.”  He smirked harder at Castiel, who just tilted his head at him curiously. 

Dean finally walked up and nudged Crowley in the side with his elbow.  “Hey, man.  Was wondering if you were here yet.”

“Yes, Dean, Castiel and your brother were just telling me what a fantastic job I did with those photos of you two.”

“Uh huh.”  Dean smirked and rolled his eyes, sitting down close up to Cas.

“Well, anyway, I suppose I should go find some other people to compliment me.”  Crowley looked right to Castiel. “See you later.”  

 

*****

The three boys walked around to mingle a bit and Sam ended up running into some friends from law school.  He wandered off to hang out with them leaving Dean and Castiel to stand in the middle of the crowd drinking and embracing.  Their eyes were fixed on each other, as they both swayed ever so slightly, talking low and warm.

Castiel was nursing a healthy buzz, his eyes opening and shutting slowly, a small smile on his face as he just listened to the sound of Dean’s voice, covering him with warmth.  He was just starting to let himself fall completely into this blissful state, when they were interrupted.

Two girls rapidly tapped Dean’s arm and shrieked when he turned to look at them.  They got his autograph and took some pictures with him.  Castiel was irritated that their moment was abruptly ended, but still he looked on and smiled, happy for his mate. 

It started to get increasingly more annoying as Dean kept trying to return his attention to Castiel, but continued to get pulled away by people wanting autographs, photos, interviews or what have you.  Castiel just stood by and watched taking drink after drink.

He was getting extremely drunk.

His contented grin slowly but surely straightened out then turn downward into a frown.  He was feeling uncomfortable, out of place, out of his league. 

Dean really was famous.  Popular.  Castiel really didn’t know the scope of it, but he was starting to get it now. 

He just mindlessly drank whatever was passed around to him as he retreated inward, thinking much too hard for someone at a party. 

His mind harkened back to high school, when Castiel admired Dean from afar, the boy who was far too popular and special for Castiel to bother.  He began to think that things weren’t all that different now, but he somehow managed to have the gall to be with Dean anyway.  To occupy him.  To attempt to be his One and Only.

He didn’t deserve to be with Dean.  Not Dean, who could always have anyone he wanted, and most definitely could now.  Now Dean was being actively sought after, and it was happening right in front of Castiel’s eyes.  How could he compete with that?

Castiel was just an awkward teenager that grew into an awkward adult with basically no friends, a weird distant family, and an unhealthy obsession with a supermodel.

What was he doing here fooling himself?

He downed another fruity something that strung his throat as he swallowed it.  He was wobbling and nearly fell, when a hand gripped his arm.

“You alright, love?”

Castiel turned his head sluggishly to the man beside him. Crowley.

He tilted his head to the side, then lowered it almost completely.  “I’m very drunk.”

“So you are!” Crowley laughed.  “Why don’t I grab a water for you?  Be right back.  Try to stay on your feet.”

Castiel nodded gratefully, as Crowley left his vision.  Dean finally returned to Castiel, putting his arms back in place around his angel’s waist.

“Whoa, baby,” Dean smiled at Cas with slight concern, “You look like you drank the whole bar.  You okay?”

Cas nodded, attempting to smile, but couldn’t really feel if he was doing it right. “Mhm.  Crowley’s getting me water.” He slurred.

“Alright, alright, good.” Dean pulled him in close.  “I’m really sorry about all that with the press and all. Just…you know how it is.”

Actually, no, of course Castiel had no idea how it is. He just chuckled in response, words too jumbled in his brain now for him to speak.

Crowley came back with a cold plastic cup of ice water.  Castiel grabbed it, thanked him, and swallowed the whole thing down.  Crowley and Dean both watched him with wide-eyes as he gulped it down.

“This is one thirsty boy you have here, Dean.  Better keep him sated.”  Crowley winked and walked off.

Dean just rolled his eyes.  “That guy’s an ass even when he’s doing someone a favor.”

  

*****

Midnight was growing near and the two found Sam again, dragging him away from his friends to go peer over the side of the building to see the magnificently lit New Year’s Eve ball drop. 

Castiel and Dean were pinned to the edge of the roof, two arms wrapped around one another’s waists, and the other two arms on the rail of the building’s ledge. Sam was to their left, both hands gripping onto the rail, looking down and smiling wide.  Gabriel had managed to find them as well, and stood next to Sam while holding a glass of champagne.  Everyone around them was full of bright smiles and cheers.

Dean looked into Castiel’s eyes just before the countdown began, pulling Cas into a trance and not letting go.  Castiel gave in, letting himself slip into happiness with Dean once more. 

“I love you.”  Dean mouthed with his soft, amazing lips.  Castiel’s favorite lips.

Castiel smiled, a hint of sadness still barely there in his eyes.  “I love you too, Dean.”  He felt a lump in his throat as he said it.

The countdown began and they all chanted while pumping their fists in the air.

Just as he was about to shout one, Castiel felt Dean’s hands grabbing his face and pulling him into a deep, passionate kiss.

Everything around them, all the lights, the noise, the people, vanished around them.  Castiel grabbed on to Dean's arms, pushed their mouths together hard, painfully, and desperately.  He wanted to kiss the life out of Dean, to end everything here and now, just like this, in a beautiful explosion...falling prey to Dean's powers and never being released from them.  He wanted to stay entranced, lost in Dean's world forever and ever, so he would never have to face reality.

So he would never have to face the inevitable...

and break up with Dean.

The thought banged at the back of his brain, but he didn't want to hear it, so he kissed and kissed and grabbed, losing his breath and almost hoping he would suffocate into the kiss.

Time and space were dissolving, life became nothing, Dean was the only God damn thing that mattered and Castiel couldn't let go, he couldn't, until...

He felt a weight sink down through his body, from his head to this feet, making him feel like he weighed a metric ton, but entirely unstable.  His mouth fell off of Dean's and he started swaying from side to side feeling extremely dizzy, not Dean-happy dizzy, a different kind of dizzy. 

Bad dizzy.

"Cas," Dean gasped, trying to catch his breath from the mind blowing kiss, "Cas, you alright?"

"No."  Castiel felt himself say.  Dean was saying something else to him, but he sounded like he was underwater and Castiel couldn't understand a word of it.  "I jus...needa go to the bathroom..."  Cas pushed away from Dean and headed through the sea of people to the inside of the building, searching for the restroom.

He stumbled into a stall and leaned against the side, with his eyes closed.  He felt heavy and weird, and tired.  Before he knew it, he was sliding down to the ground and beginning to slip away into unconsciousness as he heard a voice behind him.

"Let's get you out of here, love.  I'll take care of you."

 

*****

When Castiel came to, his brain booted up after a few minutes and told him he couldn't move.  It also told him he was naked. 

He looked around as his vision became less and less blurry and he realized he had no idea where he was.  He was on a strange bed in a strange bedroom that had lights and cameras everywhere.  His ears slowly started to hear voices around him.  Mostly unfamiliar, but one sounded like one he'd heard before.

"Alright," he heard the familiar voice say, "are the cameras all set up then?  Looks like he's starting to wake up."

His eyes found the figure that the voice belonged to.  "Crowley."  He choked out, hoarse.

"That's right.  Good morning, princess."

"What's...happening..."  He felt cold and clammy, and more and more like he was going to vomit.

"Oh, we're going to take a lot of fun photos of you, dear, and you're gonna make me quite a lotta money."

Castiel's eyes moved to a table that Crowley was standing in front of.  It was full of fetishy toys, bondage equipment, and just...a lot of things that looked incredibly painful.  He was hog-tied; trussed up for some cruel fetish photo shoot Crowley must've been planning to sell to some perverts.

Castiel was definitely going to vomit, he thought, but instead he began to cry.

Crowley started looking at all the items of the table, picking each one up for consideration, and paying the weeping Castiel absolutely no mind.  The other men in the room told him to shut up or he'd get hit, but Castiel couldn't stop.  He was terrified; never been this scared in his entire life.  He had no idea what to do, how to escape, or if he was even going to make it out alive.

He thought about Dean.

He wondered how scared Dean must've been those times when he got beaten up.   

He thought about how he might never see Dean again.  The thought stabbed at his heart.  He needed to see Dean again.  He needed Dean now. 

He started crying for him, screaming for him, calling out to the heavens for Dean, even while he was getting punched, slapped and whipped by the men surrounding him.

"You're only prolonging the inevitable, Castiel.  The sooner you shut up and take it, the sooner we'll let you out of here and back to your precious Dean Winchester," Crowley antagonized him, "not that he'll want you after he sees you like this.  Bloodied, naked, pathetic.  Lowly."  He snapped his whip hard onto Castiel's back.

Castiel didn't quiet down, he screamed to Dean through all the pain and sickness. 

Finally, finally he heard the door crash open. 

"What the fuck?  Crowley, you son of a bitch!"

"Oh, what are you gonna do, Winchester?  Beat me up?  You're grossly outnumbered here."  Crowley sneered. 

"Sam, Gabe, he's in here!"  Dean hurled himself at Crowley, shaking off the men that tried to pull him back to no avail, and threw punch after punch at the evil fucker who hurt his angel.

Sam and Gabriel came in and whaled on the other men, all the while telling them the cops were on the way.  Crowley was finally knocked out on the ground, as well as a couple of his men, the others having fled upon the news of the police being called.

Dean was immediately at Castiel's side after finishing with Crowley.  Upon Dean's entry, however, Castiel had passed out.  He was covered in blood and his own vomit and tears.  This time, it was Dean who began to cry as he untied Castiel from his bondage.  


	11. Chapter 11

Castiel asked for time alone after New Year’s Eve, promising Dean that it wasn't his fault, just that he needed to be alone with his thoughts, and to focus on work. 

It had been a week since the incident with Crowley, and Castiel refused to press charges, despite Dean and Sam's protests.  Crowley had of course gotten arrested, but Castiel didn't want to go any further and take it to court.  He just wanted to forget the whole ordeal ever occurred.  He wanted to focus on preparing for the rapidly upcoming spring semester and nothing else. 

Castiel didn't want to think about Dean.

Thinking about Dean meant thinking about how much he didn't belong with Dean.  Being with Dean was living in a fantasy world that he was not built for, and he was not ready to accept that.

Dean had come to his rescue on New Year’s Eve, and afterwards was sweet and attentive as ever.  As perfect as ever.  Still, Castiel couldn't quiet the thought in the back of his mind that he didn't belong in this life with Dean.  Castiel was a simple man, with a simple life, and Dean was anything but.  Castiel still viewed Dean as this untouchable being, godlike, and every moment with him felt completely unreal.  He told himself that there had to be a reason for that, and it couldn't just be because he was madly in love with him.  It was that he wasn't good enough, grand enough, perfect enough for Dean.  He never would be.

These thoughts plagued him, and effected him much more than what Crowley had done, horrific as it had been. 

 

*****

Castiel decided to break up with Dean on the Friday before the semester started.  He didn't know if that would be good timing or not, but he didn't have the energy to think about it anymore, he just wanted to get it over with.

Dean's texts asking him if he was okay were getting to be too much to bare.  Dean taking the time to be so sweet to him while he was out working his exciting job, and Castiel having to lie every time, telling him everything was fine.  He couldn't do it anymore.

Castiel met Dean at a restaurant, and Dean was all smiles when Cas arrived. 

"Cas!"  Dean jumped out of the booth and grabbed Castiel in a big hug, lifting him off the ground.  Castiel clung to him, swallowed hard, and couldn't bring himself to fake a smile. "Oh, God, it's been way too long!"  He pressed his lips to Cas' hard, and Castiel pressed into it harder, desperately, then backed away abruptly and sat down on the booth.  Dean stood with his arms still extended as if Castiel had just poofed out of them, and looked down at his date in confusion for a second, then sat down.

"So, Cas, how are ya? I mean, really, how are ya? We haven't talked in like, what, two weeks? I've missed you like crazy." 

"I've missed you too, Dean."  Understatement. 

Dean's smile remained, but a hint of sadness started to come through.  "So, have you been doing alright?" 

Castiel looked down at his hands that were placed firmly on his lap and sighed. He had thought about exactly what to say over and over, but seeing Dean again made everything go blank.  How the fuck was he going to do this? Was he actually going to let Dean go?  The light of his life was so bright, blindingly bright, and Castiel was sitting here about to shut it off and never turn it back on again. 

Dean was a star in every sense of the word, far too bright, and lightyears out of Castiel's league.  These thoughts were getting drilled into his mind, over and over again, until Dean spoke again, snapping him out of it.

"Cas?"

Castiel looked up into the green eyes in front of him.  Dean looked concerned, the smile was completely gone now, and all that was left was sadness.  That sight alone nearly made Castiel break down, but he forced himself to stay composed.  He had to get through this first.

"No.  I'm not alright."  He put it bluntly.  He didn't have the strength to mince his words, as all his might was focused on not crying.

"’Cause of Crowley?  Cas, I-"

"No.  Because," Castiel swallowed, choking back his sobs. "we need to break up." 

Dean blinked, shocked for a moment, and his eyes began to redden. "What?  Why? Cas, just,-"

"Because we're too different.  Our lives are too different.  We don't make sense.  Nothing makes sense.  Your life.  I can't keep up with it.  I'll never be able to.  I can't even fathom doing so.  And I don't want to drag you down, or hold you back.  That would hurt me too much.  So just...leave me, please."

"Cas..."  Dean was dumbfounded.  "After everything we've done, all the just... amazing shit, we have one bad night and you wanna end it?  Come on."

"No, Dean.  It's not because of that night.  I cherish every moment we've ever spent together, good and bad, and I mean that.  Every word we've ever exchanged, since back in high school, have all meant more to me than I can possibly express.  But...you and I...it's not meant to last.  It's...too good to be true.  Absolutely too good to be true."

"Castiel, you're," Dean let out an exasperated grunt.  "you're not making any sense!  It sounds like you still love me, and I love you too. So, what is it then?  What do you want me to do to fix this?  I'll quit modeling for you, I mean it.  I'll quit right now."

"No!"  Castiel's eyes went wide, and it hurt as they filled with tears.  "That's exactly what I don't want.  Don't change for me, Dean.  You're perfect.  Please.  I want you to live your life, be successful and be happy.  That's all I want in the world.  I refuse to hold you back from doing so." 

"Castiel, you're what makes me happy!"  Dean yelled, sounding angry, then ducked down while shaking his head and sobbing.  "I'm fuckin' crazy about you, Cas.  Please don't do this."

Tears finally began to fall down Castiel's face, and his heart felt like it was being stabbed by a million knives.  He was sitting here hurting Dean Winchester.  This was a nightmare.

"Cas, baby, I need you."

"No you don't."

Dean looked up at Cas with an expression on his face that was unlike any Cas had seen before.  Dean looked more hurt and angry than Castiel had ever seen, even when he was getting physically beaten.  Castiel did this to him.  He definitely didn't deserve Dean now.  Perfect Dean.

Dean turned away covering his quivering mouth with his fist and choked back his tears.  He nodded, not agreeing with Castiel, but in acceptance.  He glanced at his weeping angel, shook his head, got up and walked out. 

As Dean walked past Castiel, time slowed down.  His heart beat loudly in his ears and it hurt, badly, like it was trying to burst out of his chest.  It was pounding so hard and loud it felt like his ears were bleeding. 

Castiel sat at the booth, staring out into the nothingness that surrounded him.  Everything was dark, blank, meaningless.  Everything was gone.  Dean Winchester was gone.

 

*****

Castiel spent the rest of the weekend crying nonstop, to the point of dry-heaving.  He wanted to get it all out of his system before work started back up.  He only left the house to drop the tickets to Jamaica that Dean got him for Christmas off in the mailbox.  The thought of Dean taking someone else on their vacation attempted to pop in his mind, but Castiel shook it away, refusing to allow such a cruel thought to fully manifest.

When he got to the point of being physically unable to cry any longer, he decided to call his sister.  He knew Anna would be upset with him if he didn't tell her what happened with Dean, and he couldn't bare hurting someone else.

The news stunned Anna into silence for several moments, but instead of making Castiel feel even worse than he did already, she offered as much consolation as possible.  She even offered to come and stay with him for a while, but Castiel turned her down.  If she was there to comfort him, it would leave him to dwell on the reason for the comfort, and he couldn't do that.  He had to get past Dean, as much as he possibly could.

His brother Gabriel called, and was far less sensitive. 

"Dude, you fucked up.  I mean...unbelievable, man!  Poor baby Cas getting overwhelmed and chickening out just like always! Remember that time back in friggin'...what was it? 3rd grade?  You were the smartest little student and got the best grades out of everyone and they were gonna present some award for you at an assembly, but you actually asked them _not_ to!  You kept going on about how you didn't deserve it! This is like, the same thing, only way bigger and way worse.  You had this hot ass guy who did nothing but fuckin' love you and show you the best time of your life, but you couldn't handle it.  You let it go because it was, what?  Too good to be true?  Fuckin' bull shit!  If everyone just sat around, only accepting what they felt like they deserved, no one would be doing jack shit!  The world would be a boring, horrible place if everyone lived like you do, Castiel.  Thinkin' you don't deserve to be happy.  Not lettin' yourself have feelings like a human fuckin' being.  I don't know where you developed such a complex from, but bro, you gotta get over it.  I just...oh, man!  Dean Winchester! And you blew it!"

Castiel sat and took it, without response.  He needed to be scolded, he thought.  He hung up the phone when it seemed like Gabriel was finished speaking, then curled up on the floor and sobbed for a few hours.

On Sunday, he deleted his facebook, and any Dean related bookmarks he kept on his browser.  He swore to himself to only use the internet for work, and that's what he did.  He focused totally on getting everything ready for his classes and didn't allow his mind to wander.

 

*****

Once the semester started, Castiel quickly fell back into the routine of teaching, grading, teaching and grading.  He was just going through the motions and did absolutely nothing else.  His classes flourished.  He was becoming known as the best teacher in the history department, and he took some pride in that, but not enough to where it made any significant improvements to his outlook on life. 

Castiel plummeted deeper and deeper into a reclusive state, like how he became in college, only this time it was much darker.  The hole he sank into was a black, emotionless place that he never planned to leave.  He couldn't let himself feel again.  If he let himself feel things, his mind would travel to places it should never, ever go, so he just...didn't.  Castiel became a blank slate, a machine built to do his job, succeed at it, and do nothing else.  Never wanting, never indulging. 

Never, ever thinking about Dean Winchester.


	12. Chapter 12

Castiel is now 30 years old.  He's the head of the History department at the college, and students are doing better in the subject then they had since the school's inception.  Castiel's complete and utter focus on work had paid off, in that respect. 

He still lives in the same apartment, still alone, but not quite the shell he was a few years ago.  Though he didn't even consider dating or romance of any kind, he still grew to be happy in his work and his success.  His co-workers had even thrown him a couple parties, and he graciously accepted their praise. 

He by no means was living life to the fullest, but he at the very least didn't feel like complete shit anymore. 

It was summer break now though, which Castiel had kind of grown to dread.  He had nothing to do between semesters anymore.  He had his classes down pat, and didn't need to edit or add anything to the syllabus or host of handouts he'd created, so he was left to just sit around his apartment with nothing but temptation surrounding him.

He was tempted to go on the internet and do things unrelated to work, or to channel surf, or go out and drink himself stupid, or worse...he was tempted to think.  And feel.  His mind was tempted to travel back in time, to dig up memories of...him.  The man he had fought to forget for so long, but had never, truly left his mind, as if there was a chance in hell that would happen.

This summer however, Castiel has reached a turning point.  He can no longer run away from his feelings anymore.  He has decided to let himself think again.

Castiel planned out a road trip for himself.  He thought a few peaceful days out on the open road would be the perfect setting for his thoughts to flow.  He thought about going hiking, or swimming, or both.  Anything.  Or maybe he'd just drive around and admire God's beautiful Earth that he'd kept himself shut away from for so many years.

So Castiel just set out and drove. 

His brain, naturally, directed him toward Lawrence, Kansas.  The town that started it all.  The town that was home to the boy that changed Castiel's life.  The boy that altered his world, blasted it into a million pieces, rearranged them, and glued it back together again.  The boy that awakened him and ruined him at the same time.

The true destination of this "road trip" has quickly become apparent.  This wasn't some journey of self-discovery.  Castiel already knew who the fuck he was, even if he was in denial about it for a few years. 

This was a quest to find Dean Winchester.

Castiel was ready to travel the whole fucking country to find him.  The world even, if need be.  He rolled his shoulders back, stretched his neck, and looked straight out toward the road ahead of him. 

 

*****

As much as Castiel had tried to avoid any and all things Dean related in the years past, he still came across news of him through one channel or another.  He would hear students in the halls at the college discussing how "Dean Winchester used to go here!" and even though it wrenched his gut, he couldn't stop himself from eavesdropping.  Through the various information he gathered, he inferred that Dean had moved out of the nice apartment he lived in downtown.  It wasn't clear where exactly he moved to, but most assumed LA.  Castiel wasn't so sure, however.  He recalled that Dean didn't seem too terribly fond of living in Los Angeles and that he seemed to vastly prefer New York City.  Castiel didn't want to think too much about that city, as it brought up poor memories, but in order for his quest to be successful, he had to stay open to the possibility of travelling there.

Just as Castiel was beginning to brighten up at the prospect of his current adventure, a problem arose:  what on Earth was he going to say to Dean when he found him?  He definitely wanted to apologize for causing Dean pain, but should he even attempt to rebuild a relationship with him?  He shook that thought away; it was a bit much to consider at the moment.  If Dean refused friendship with Castiel if he offered it, it would be too devastating.  So, he simply planned to apologize.

Above all he just wanted to know that Dean was doing well, whether he accepted the apology or not.

 

*****

As Castiel drove, he took in the scenery passing him by.  The trees, old houses, and shops.  He let his mind wander after being captive for so long, and he was pleasantly surprised with what it dug up.  He uncovered memories of Dean that actually made him smile, instead of cry. 

For instance, there were the couple of times in the Literature class they had together in High School when Dean forgot his book, and he moved across the entire classroom to sit next Castiel so they could share.  He could've easily shared with whoever was sitting next to him, but he always chose Castiel instead.  Even going so far as to making whoever sat by Castiel switch seats with him.  Cas never understood why, but he loved it.

Dean would scoot his desk right up next to Cas', and they would lean in so close together, each putting a hand on either side of the book to hold it open.  Dean would skip ahead in the book and write little messages on the page for Castiel to discover later.  They were all stupid, but so wonderfully Dean that they each made Castiel grin like crazy:

_"Cas, you can read me like a book"_

_"Ow, Cas! My spine!"_

_"If Cas is reading this right now, he's not getting laid."_

_"Castiel loves Dean..."_ Then, on the next page, _"...'s ass."_

_"Cas, stop looking at my ass! You're supposed to be reading!- Dean"_

Castiel was laughing hysterically now as he drove.  He still has that book somewhere.  He seldom laughed, but Dean was always able to crack him somehow. 

He thought more and more about his times with Dean in high school, and that of course led to memories of the fateful graduation party.  The more Castiel thought about it, the more he considered it to truly be the best night of his life.  Though he may not have done it by the most romantic means, it was still the night he had finally made his feelings known to Dean.  He had never done something that brave before.

Castiel was starting to get that same feeling again now, that feeling of being brave.  As he got closer and closer to Lawrence, he started to tremble with nerves.  The odds of Dean being in Lawrence weren't even really all that great, but for some reason his mind was getting all scrambled.  He wanted to be as eloquent as possible with his apology to Dean, but that was predictably flying out the window.  After all this time, Dean didn't even have to be anywhere near Castiel for his mind-altering superpowers to take effect. 

All of the sudden, he was jolted back to reality by the sound of his car sputtering.  He looked down at his gauges and noticed that it was over-heating.

Really?  Car problems, now? 

Though truth be told, he never took his car for any lengthy drives, so if problems were to arise now would be the time.  He was standing over the open hood, peering in, as if he had any clue what to do about it, and just laughed to himself.  He started to go through different options in his mind, refusing to feel defeated, when someone pulled up in a big pickup truck to help him out.  They offered to tow Castiel to a nearby repair shop in Lawrence, and he gladly accepted.

 

*****

When they arrived at the auto-repair shop, Castiel's heart jumped into his throat as he saw the sign on the building. 

As the man that drove him there was pulling in to park, he said, "Yeah, this guy mostly does classic muscle cars, but he'll fix just about anything.  He's a real good dude; works on my truck occasionally.  Sometimes I just come by to look at the cherry rides he's got in the lot.  You gotta see em."

Castiel was frozen in the passenger seat, his eyes fixed on the sign that read: _Winchester's Classic Auto_

He was snapped out of his trance by the driver knocking on the passenger window from the outside.  "You comin'?"  Castiel nodded and slowly made his way out of the truck and toward the door of the shop.  The guy unhitched his truck from Castiel's car, telling him he had to take off, and Cas just nodded again in gratitude, unable to form words.  He turned toward the door and stood there, frozen, just staring at it.

This was the whole reason he set out, but was he ready?  He had no choice now.  The world was forcing him to confront his fears, to confront Dean, for better or for worse.  He didn't wanna think about the worse. 

He shook his entire body, steadied himself, then walked in.  The bell on the door jingled, and the young blonde woman at the front desk looked up from the magazine she was reading.  She was leaning back in her chair with her legs perched up on the desk, but she sat up at attention upon seeing Castiel enter.

"Afternoon, sir.  How can I help ya?"

"Uh, I," Castiel cleared his throat. His mouth had gone completely dry. "My car is...uh..."

The woman quirked a brow and leaned forward, waiting for him to spit it out.  "Your car is...?  In need of some sort of repair I assume?"

"Yes."  Castiel's brows furrowed and he looked down for a second, ignoring whatever it was the woman was trying to ask him next, then looked back up at her again.  "Is the owner here?"

"Oh, yeah, sure.  You wanna talk to him?"  She turned back to shout into a doorway behind her.  "Dean! You got a customer!"

Castiel's heart jumped again at the sound of his name.  It began to pound...when he heard his voice.

"Alright, Jo, I'm comin'.  Who's-" Dean Winchester walked out of the doorway and froze in his tracks upon making eye contact with the man on the other side of the desk. 

"Cas."  Dean whispered, clutching onto a rag he had just thrown over his shoulder. He was wearing dirty coveralls, his face and arms were smudged with oil, his hair was a spikey mess, he looked a bit sweaty and he was absolutely fucking beautiful.  Castiel stared at him, wide-eyed, and Dean did just the same right back.  They stared and stared, both unable to budge, until finally Jo broke the silence. 

She was looking back and forth at them with raised brows and a smirk on her face.  "Wait, Cas? As in _Castiel_ Cas? No. Way."  She chuckled and gaped at Castiel with her jaw dropped, like he was some sort of fabled creature. "Are you gonna show him the-"

Dean cleared his throat, cutting her off, and dabbed his forehead with the rag.  "Yeah, yeah this is Cas.  Castiel.  Cas, this is Jo.  Jo, Cas." 

Castiel broke his gaze from Dean to nod at Jo, who said hi in return.  "So, Cas," Jo began, sounding a bit sly. "why don't you give me your keys and I'll go pull your car into the garage and take a look at it."

Castiel fumbled in his pockets for his keys and handed them to Jo as she walked past.  "I'll let you two catch up."  She mouthed an "Oh my God" at Dean as she walked out the door. 

The two men looked at each other for another moment of awkward silence until Dean chuckled.  "So."

"So."  Castiel's look of disbelief turned into that of curiosity when he tilted his head. "Jo said you have something to show me?"

Dean scratched the back of his head and used the other hand to stuff his rag in his pocket, his nervousness easy for anyone to read. "Yeah, yeah.  Got a couple things to show ya actually.  Here, follow me."  He led Castiel out back to a yard full of incredible looking old muscle cars.  Some were in rough shape, still being worked on, but some were absolutely sparkling in the late afternoon sunlight, pristine and gorgeous. An impressive sight indeed.

"Wow."  Castiel couldn't help but say as he looked around the lot in awe. 

"Yeah, heavenly aint it?"  Dean turned to Cas with a wink.  "This way." He led them back into a shaded parking lot that had a sign indicating it was for 'Employees Only'.  "Here she is."  He patted on the roof of a shining, cherry red 1967 Chevrolet Camaro. 

Castiel's jaw dropped as he gasped, then slammed his hand over his mouth.  "It's...you...finished it."

"Yeah! Yeah, of course! Hell, I worked on it practically nonstop after...well, uh," He cleared his throat. "What do you think?"

"It looks amazing."  Both men beamed as they marveled at the classic car. "You gave it black racing stripes."  Castiel noticed while grinning and biting his quivering lower lip.

"Yeah,"  Dean laughed.  "was kinda a last minute decision, but I figured why not?"

"It's fantastic.  Do you drive it?"  Castiel smiled up at Dean, as a feeling of warmth started to coat his nervous body.

"Oh, hell yeah.  I mean, the Impala's still my number one baby,"  Dean gestured toward the equally shiny black car parked next to the Camaro. "but I take Red out all the time."

Castiel had his hands clutched to his chest and let out a deep sigh, looking at the car like it was he and Dean's newborn child sleeping in the nursery.  The sight made Dean laugh as he clapped a hand to the man's shoulder.  "Got one more to show you, Cas.  It's across the lot this way." 

As they strolled across the yard, Castiel looked around awestruck at all the cars around him.  A familiar feeling crept through him of being so happy and proud of Dean for achieving such success.

"This is it."  Dean gestured toward a beautiful, glistening ocean blue vehicle parked in front of them.  The sun shone across it brilliantly, all the different textures of each part of the car giving off its own luminescence.  It was truly a sight to behold; a piece of machinery that could be appreciated by any living soul. 

"1966 Chevy Chevelle.  A guy brought it in about a year ago for me to work on and I bought it from him.  I had to have it."  Dean looked at it adoringly, running his hand along the roof.  "Hadn't seen anything so gorgeous and blue since-" Dean abruptly ended his sentence as he turned to Castiel, who was frozen stiff, with his jaw dropped yet again, and his fists clenched at his sides.  He stared in shock at the car in front of him, his eyes focused on one particular spot on the side, toward the back, right near the bumper. 

"Yeah, it didn't really need much body work, just some engine repair.  So I uh, added...that...myself."  Dean's lips quirked up in a shy smile as his eyes moved to where Castiel's were looking.

Castiel walked toward the car and knelt down, unsure if his brain knew he was doing so or not, and he traced his fingers along the silver cursive letters painted there that spelled his name. Dean crouched down next to him and looked at the name as well.  Castiel looked at him, his cheeks flushed, and Dean's were just as red, if not more so.  They both gulped.  Castiel slowly dragged his fingers away from the car and stood up, Dean doing the same shortly after. 

"Beautiful, huh?"  Dean smiled, looking right at Cas as he asked.

"Yes.  Yes.  Beautiful."  Castiel answered him breathlessly, looking right back into his eyes. 

"Yeah."  Dean ducked his head down and turned his gaze back to the car. "I thought of you immediately when I saw it.  That blue paint. Had to have it."

Castiel looked at the man next to him, feeling tears start to well up in his eyes and sucked in a quaky breath.  "Dean..." 

"Hey, why don't we take it out for a drive tonight?  I'd love to show ya how great she runs." 

Castiel blinked up at him for a moment, his brain trying to form a response, and when it gave him a few options he said all three. "Yes. Okay. Sure."

"Great."  Dean smiled and walked back toward the door to the shop with Castiel following behind him.  "It's...what? Five?  How 'bout I pick you up at seven?"

"That sounds good."  Castiel understated with a nod as they walked inside.

"Where ya stayin'?"

"Nowhere.  Er, I mean, I was just...driving."

"Oh. Well, uh, there's a motel right up the road."  Dean pointed vaguely in said motel's direction.

"Okay, I'll get a room there." 

"Great.  I'll pick you up there then." 

It was the most nervous exchange between two men ever, but Castiel could tell Dean was trying to keep it as smooth as possible.  Castiel sucked in a deep breath, and swallowed back the lump forming in his throat as he walked toward the front door.  He paused with his hand on the door knob.  "Oh, my car."

"It was just a little low on coolant.  I filled it up.  It's fine."  Jo piped in from behind the desk having resumed her laid back position with her feet propped up on the counter. 

They turned to her with a jolt, both looking embarrassed. 

"How much do I owe you?" 

"Oh, it's on the house.  Right, boss?"  She raised her eyebrows and smirked knowingly at Dean.

"Yeah, yeah, of course.  Don't worry about it."

"Dean." Castiel began to protest.

"I'll see you at seven, Cas."  Dean assured as he opened up the door for Castiel. 

 

*****

Castiel went through the process of checking in to the motel, showering, grooming, and getting dressed feeling like it was an out of body experience.  As his body went through the motions of getting ready, his mind was deep in thought.  He couldn't believe how well things were going.  He never expected to find Dean so soon in his trip, or to be received so warmly by him after everything, and he especially didn't expect to be getting ready to go out with him.

But then...he _never_ expected Dean Winchester.

Castiel shrugged on his tan trench coat, which had become his most beloved possession, when he heard a car horn honk outside his door.  He walked out of the motel room to find Dean leaning against the driver's side door of the beautiful blue vehicle.  The Chevelle was a sight indeed, but Castiel's attention was completely on Dean whose superpowers were back in full effect leaving Castiel frozen in the doorway, just staring at the man in front of him.

Dean might not be a model anymore, but he was as damn sexy as ever.  Sexier, even.  In a whole new way.  He had a bit of stubble on his chin, and his hair was spiky and side-swept, but only with a little gel. He was wearing an army-navy style jacket with far too many pockets, with an unbuttoned collared shirt underneath, and a black t-shirt.  He had on a pair of boot cut jeans, and appropriately enough, a pair of scuffed up brown worker boots.  He transformed from a statuesque glowing model into this rugged and frankly bad ass looking grown man. 

Castiel drank in the sight, nearly melting in his shoes if it weren't for the images appearing in his mind sending a sharp feeling straight to his dick that he hadn't experienced in years.  He envisioned this man pinning him forcefully up against the brick wall behind him, tearing his clothes off with a knife and fucking him rough while grunting out curse words into his ear . He jumped at the sudden feeling in his pants, shook his head out of the fantasy, slammed the door behind him and walked briskly toward the passenger side of the car without a word.

"Hey."  Dean said with a chuckle, smiling, but looking slightly confused. 

"Hello Dean."

"Ready to go I take it?"

Castiel nodded and they both got in the car. 

The drive was quiet, Castiel looking out of the passenger window at the setting sun and Dean looking straight forward out onto the road.  Cas was gathering his thoughts, collecting all the words he wanted to say in his apology to Dean who was looking quite pensive himself with clenched hands on the steering wheel, squinting eyes and pursed lips. 

Dean turned onto a dirt road leading into a forest and his tensed up gaze softened.  "I know this seems like a place a serial killer would take his victim, but I promise that's not what's happening here."  He said with a laugh. "There's this clearing up here that I like to go to sometimes," He took another right turn through some trees and out into said clearing.  "Sounds lame, but it's...I dunno.  Nice out here." 

After they parked, Castiel leaned forward, peering out through the windshield at the small pond in front of them, the trees surrounding it, and up at the starry night sky with a glowing crescent moon in the center.  He took in the sounds of the wind, crickets, and frogs around them and smiled softly for moment. 

Dean leaned back, keeping his eyes forward and asked, "So, Cas, what brings you out to Lawrence?"

Castiel turned to Dean.  "You." 

Dean shook his head and chuckled under his breath.

"Dean," Castiel began, as he stared at the man whose hands were still clutched to that steering wheel, looking straight ahead.  Thinking about everything that happened that day, and looking at Dean next to him, being impossibly beautiful, sent an indescribable feeling through his body, crashing his brain and making him completely forget all the words he had been rehearsing.  Though, really, that was the least unexpected thing to happen all day.  He looked down at his own balled fists in his lap. "I'm sorry."

Dean looked at him with furrowed brows.  "Cas..."

"I hurt you.  And that's the worst thing I can possibly think of.  And...I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry." 

"Cas, it's okay." 

Castiel looked at him with wide eyes. 

"Listen," Dean started, his hands still on the wheel, but grip loosened. "I think maybe you were right, back then.  About our lives being too different. But...the thing is..." He looked back out into the forest as he searched for his words.  "You were like, the one piece of my crazy ass life that was normal, and simple, and...I loved that...but I guess I was too big a pussy to quit modeling and stay with you.  And then we broke up and I kept modeling for a little over a year even though I barely wanted to do it anyway...and that feeling got worse and worse until I decided I hated it, said fuck it, and quit.  So now, here I am."

"Living your dream."

"Livin' my dream.  Yep.  It's great.  You know,"  He finally turned his gaze back toward Castiel.  "that time I told you about how I wanted to restore old cars and you just...immediately told me I could do it, no questions asked...that really was all the motivation I needed.  I mean, every other person I told just looked at me like I was nuts.  Even Sammy.  Like, why would I give up the money and fame or whatever to fix old cars?"  He laughed.  "No one got it but you. So, thanks to that, yeah, now I am living my dream."

"I'm so glad, Dean.  I'm so glad."

"What about you, Cas?  How's life?"  The question echoed through Castiel's brain, sending chills through him as he thought about the life he drove away from back in Topeka and what it had turned into.  Before he knew it, his fists were clenched, clutching onto the fabric of his coat, and his head was bowed down as tears flooded out. 

"Cas?  What is it?  Did something-"

"Dean,"  Castiel blurted out between shaky breaths and sobs. "I don't want to make you feel any guilt, or any obligation toward me.  But I'm...I'm miserable, Dean.  I'm fucking...my life is _miserable._ Empty. And it's my fault.  I ruined my own life when I left you-no-when I told you to leave me."  He choked back more sobs.  "I hurt you, and I deserve to suffer for it." 

"Cas, stop it, okay?  Don't say that shit."  Dean grabbed Castiel's shoulder, then reached with his other hand to make Castiel face him.  "Look, it sucked back then, and sure I was pissed, but I couldn't hold a grudge against you if I tried.  Besides, I might have my dream job, but...I could only really live my dream if you were here with me."  He smiled, stroking Castiel's cheek, wiping tears away with his thumb and calming him down.  "So...stay with me."

"What?"

"I want you to be with me.  Stay with me."

"...Really?"  Castiel croaked.  His crying stopped as he gaped at Dean in shock at his sudden request.

"Yes.  Move here.  You can teach here.  We got schools."  They chuckled, but Cas could see moisture beginning to develop in Dean's eyes, and he hoped to hell it would stop, because he would surely crumble completely if Dean cried. 

"Live with me."  Dean said, deeply.

"I-"

"Cas, live with me.  I mean it.  I don't care, just-"

"Yes, Dean.  Anything.  Anything you wish."  Castiel smiled blissfully as he cupped a hand over the one Dean had placed on his cheek.  "But..."

"What?"  Dean whispered, leaning in closer.

"Do you think we could start out with just moving to the back seat first?"

Dean smiled and cracked up, much to Castiel's relief.  "Sure.  Great idea."    

The two simultaneously bolted out of the car, flipped the front seats forward, and jumped in the back, not bothering to close the doors behind them.  They collided into each other, arms wrapping around, and mouths open, tongues crashing together, reuniting forcefully after being apart for far too long.  They clutched at one another, so tight, pressing in as close as they could, kissing and kissing, sucking the air out of each other's lungs.  Their hands slid across their bodies, grabbing everywhere like they hadn't touched another person in centuries, both of them completely neglecting their impending need for oxygen.  Dean's wet, open mouth moved down to Castiel's neck, and he sucked hard at it eliciting a shrill gasp from Castiel. 

"Dean, I want you.  Please.  Take me."  Castiel wasn't sure if his breathless words were forming audibly, but they must have, as Dean quickly grabbed Castiel by the shoulders and flipped him over, his back falling against the black leather upholstery. 

Dean looked down at him as they both caught their breath.  He trailed a hand down the lapel of Castiel's coat.  "I'm glad you kept the trench coat I got you."

Castiel tilted his head.  "Of course I kept it."

"I never told anyone this, but uh..."  Dean looked down and laughed, blushing a bit. "You remember that old ratty one you used to wear?"

"Yes."  Castiel answered, inquisitively.

"I, uh, kept it." 

"...You did?" 

"Yeah.  I folded it up and put it in the trunk of the Impala that night I gave you this one."  He tugged at the lapel. "It's been there ever since." 

"You're kidding."  Castiel's face broke out in a huge, dimple filled grin.  Dean laughed and shook his head, the lines around his eyes spreading farther than ever.

"I wish I were."

Castiel pulled him down into a deep press of lips.  "You are so..."

"Adorable?"

"Surprising." 

Dean looked up and nodded, accepting the word with an exaggerated thoughtful look.  Castiel pulled him back down again into a kiss, and they made out, arms and legs intertwined, like a couple of horny teenagers, except they were grown men with what felt like a millennia of time apart to make up for.

Dean unbuttoned Castiel's shirt and ran his hand across his chest and down his abdomen, then back up to rub at a hardening nipple.  "God, I've missed touching you."  Dean thought aloud.

"I've missed your hands."  Castiel admitted genuinely, taking Dean's rough hand and kissing it.

They looked into each other's lust-blown eyes for a moment as Dean ran his hands down Castiel's thin frame and to his belt buckle.  Castiel shuddered as Dean undid his pants and belt, lowering them gingerly down to Castiel's knees, then pulling them off completely.  Dean took his jacket and button up shirt off, and Cas ran his hands up Dean's stomach, underneath the t-shirt, and Dean took that off too.  Castiel's hands froze on Dean's chest as he stared up at the form above him.  It was even more fucking beautiful than he remembered, adorned with a few new scars and a tattoo on his chest.  Castiel quivered at the thought of this rugged man taking him in the back of this car.  His breath quickened and his cock hardened as they stared at each other, both frozen for God knows what stupid reason.  He was about to have Dean again after an eternity of longing and the delay was going to drive him mad.  His hands sprung into action, finally, and he tore open Dean's button fly jeans lowering them as much as he could from his current position.  Dean removed them in a tantalizing shimmy of his hips that made Castiel moan. Dean quickly collapsed back on top of Castiel, crashing their mouths together once again.

They writhed on each other, their cocks rubbing together agonizingly through fabric, until Castiel couldn't take it anymore.  "Dean, _please."_ He begged, practically growling.

Castiel wriggled out of his boxers as Dean scrambled around for his jacket, pulling out a tube of lubricant. 

"You were prepared."  Castiel smirked.

"I was hopeful."  Dean corrected sarcastically while removing his own boxers.  They both chuckled as they repositioned themselves a bit. 

Castiel wrapped his legs around Dean's waist, his trench coat draping off his shoulders in a somehow erotic way that Dean seemed to truly appreciate.  Dean leaned forward, his cock just barely grazing Cas' entrance as he bit one of the newly exposed shoulders, causing the man beneath him to keen.  Dean prepped his cock with some lube as he continued to bite and suck at Castiel's shoulder, then squirted a bit more of the liquid onto his fingers, and began to circle around Castiel's hole teasingly. 

Castiel pushed down onto the fingers, as he cried out Dean's name, begging for him.  Dean complied, sticking two fingers in, curling and scissoring them, sticking them in deeper and deeper until he reached Castiel's spot like he'd never forgotten where it was.  Castiel shouted loudly at the touch, as it had been so long since anyone had touched him there, since _Dean_ had touched him there, and it was too fucking glorious; better than ever. 

Dean pulled in and out, getting Castiel perfectly wet and open, then slid his hand up one of the thighs wrapped around him, bending Castiel's hips up a little further.  He lined his cock up with Cas' entrance and looked down at him, Cas' expression begging for it harder than his words ever could.  That expression held so much more than just lust, and Dean could see it all.  The two men smiled at each other, knowing they both felt the same way.  

Dean plunged into Castiel all the way, slowly. "Oh, fuck, Cas!"  His breath hitched at the tight feel of his lover around him. 

"Dean."  Castiel dragged out, his neck arching back as he clutched onto the man's shoulders above him. 

Dean started pumping him in and out, his pace picking up.  The car started rocking from side to side, and the still open doors swayed, creaking, as Dean fucked into Cas harder and harder, hitting his prostate over and over.  Dean grunted and cursed.  Castiel panted and screamed.  They both had a hand around Castiel's cock, stroking it up and down in time with Dean's thrusting.

Castiel's hands flew up above his head, gripping onto whatever part of the car he could reach as he got fucked so hard and stroked so perfectly.  "Dean! Dean!"  He shouted as Dean ran his free hand through Castiel's hair, down his cheek, across his torso and up his right thigh. 

"I fuckin' missed you so much."  Dean grunted out.

"Me too, me too, Dean."  Castiel whimpered.  "I can't even describe-ah, fuck!"  Dean slammed into his prostate and Castiel's mind went blank, the world shattered around them, even their own sounds went silent, but he was pretty sure he said, "I love you."

"I love you too,” He heard. "Castiel."

Dean's angel shouted beneath him, and they came at the same time, Dean filling Cas and Cas coating their stomachs.  Dean pulled out slowly and they collapsed onto each other, limbs falling totally limp.  They stayed like that for a while, catching their breath, until they finally managed to move again.  Dean sat up to close both car doors as Castiel wriggled out of his trench coat, pulled it out from beneath them, and blanketed the two of them with it.  Dean grabbed his own jacket and folded it up, placing it under Castiel's head.  They wrapped their arms around each other, kissed one last time, and fell asleep.

 

*****

The next morning, Castiel woke up in a daze, wrapped up in his trench coat.  He blinked slowly and looked around, his brain catching up with the events of the previous night.  He sighed and smiled, but jolted up upon realizing he was alone in the car.  He looked out through the windshield to see a naked man sitting on the hood.  He shook his head and laughed, got out of the car, sat down next to Dean and wrapped his coat around them both.

"Mornin', Cas."  Dean said with a smirk, running a hand through Castiel's messy mop of dark hair, then wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him in even closer.

"Good morning, Dean." 

"I cleaned myself off with pond water.  It was awesome.  Wilderness sex rules." 

Castiel huffed and shook his head.  "I suppose I should do the same."

"Nah, I took care of ya."

Castiel looked down at his stomach which had indeed been cleaned off. "You did!  Thank you."  He said, sounding surprised.

"No problem.  You were sleepin' like a baby."  Dean chuckled and kissed Castiel's temple.

They peered out at the pond for a few minutes in silence, watching the ripples glisten in the morning sunlight.  Castiel smiled contentedly as he leaned his head on Dean's shoulder. 

"Listen, Cas, there's something I've wanted to tell you for a long time."

Castiel looked up at him, concerned.  "What is it, Dean?"

“Well, it’s just, uh…fuck.”  Dean let out an exasperated sigh, to which Castiel tilted his head and furrowed his brows.  “I’m just gonna say it: Cas, I’ve loved you since the day you dragged me away from that fight and into the nurse’s office.”

“What?”  Castiel’s head jerked back in shock and his eyes and mouth went wide.

“It’s true.  Just...the way you looked at me then...the way you still look at me with those huge blue eyes.  There ain't a person in the world out there like you, Cas."  As Dean gushed, Castiel gulped and stared in disbelief.  "Yeah, I've always been wild about you.  I was just…I dunno, in deep denial back then or something.  Mostly I was just too big a wuss to do anything about it.  And an idiot.  I mean, all that time wasted.  I can’t believe what a wuss I was.”  He looked at the man in his arms with a remorseful smile that Castiel returned.

“We were both wusses, Dean.  I've loved you for longer than that.  Much longer.  I never got the courage to say anything.  I probably never would have.  We wouldn’t be here right now if you hadn’t shown up at that bar that night by pure…whimsy.”

“Eh it...wasn’t all that whimsical.”

“What are you talking about?”  Castiel quirked a brow.

Dean ducked his head down and laughed.  “I was totally stalking your Facebook, Cas.  The whole reason I moved to Topeka and started takin’ classes at that college was to see you.”

“You…you’re…”  Castiel shook his head and scrunched up his face in utter bewilderment. 

“I know, I know.  You never really left my mind after high school, especially after you blew my fuckin’ mind at that party, so I finally got off my ass and did something about it.  Plus, that picture of yourself on your Facebook,” Dean laughed. “I mean, it was just so you, I loved it.”

Castiel looked at him and smiled.  “What?  What about it?”

“You just had that straight, angry, but slightly confused, classic Cas look.  It looked like a mug shot!  But, like, sexy.  I dunno, I just had to see you again.”

“You’re one to talk.  With those torturous modeling photos.  I just about ripped my dick off looking at those.”  Castiel clapped his hand over his mouth in embarrassment over his accidental admission.  “Shit, I mean,”

Dean busted out laughing then pulled his angel in for a kiss.  “Man, we were idiots, huh?”

“Yes, we were, but we have each other now.”

“Yeah.  We do.”  They kissed again, a soft touch of lips that quickly opened up into more.  “I love you, Castiel.”

Dean’s angel sucked in a deep, shaky breath, then slowly opened his eyes.  “I love you too, Dean.”

 


	13. Epilogue

Castiel Collins, true to his word, moved to Lawrence, Kansas to live with Dean Winchester and got a job teaching History at the high school where the two met so many years ago. 

Castiel drives the Chevelle, or the Casmobile, as Dean calls it.  Dean had little silver wings painted on its doors, which Castiel says is cheesy, but of course he secretly loves it.  Students marvel at the shimmering, classic vehicle in the school parking lot just about every day. 

Dean said he planned to give it to him all along.

The back seat of the Camaro was finally ‘christened’, along with the Impala, and the Chevelle of course, several times.  Even a few of the cars at Dean's shop that didn't even belong to him got to share the experience.  Dean has had to fix some alignment problems they've caused here and there.

Dean likes to visit Castiel up at school during lunch hour to bring him an apple, or a cheeseburger, sometimes both, but mostly just to make out with him.  Dean tells him he's 'hot for teacher' just about every time, but Castiel refuses to give in to Dean's powers and have sex with him at work.

"Oh, come on, baby.  Think about all that time we _didn't_ have sex at school back when we used to go here!  We owe it to ourselves."  Dean breathed hot onto Castiel's neck as they held each other, pressed up against the front desk of his empty classroom. 

"Dean.  No.  Never."  Castiel said sternly, like he was scolding a student. 

“Aww, but Professor Collins!”  Dean groaned and then kissed him, slowly, romantically, in the way he knows is Cas' favorite. 

"Well...maybe not, _never_."  Castiel whispered, unable to stop the smile from spreading across his face. 

The argument always ends the same way, and the bell always rings before things between the two men can go any further.  Dean always leaves reluctantly, pouting as he walks backwards out of the classroom, their eyes never parting until he exits with a wink. 

Castiel has discovered that he holds a certain amount of power over Dean, that he takes advantage of regularly and is not above admitting pride in doing so.  One of his favorite activities is successfully seducing Dean in the middle of a work day in his office at the auto shop. 

As an oil-smudged Dean thrusts up into the business-attired teacher he has propped up on his desk, he growls, "How do you get me to do these things?"

Castiel snickers and wraps his legs tighter around the naked repairman's waist, whose coveralls have fallen to his ankles, and he growls back, feeling teeth sink into his neck.  "Because you want it just as badly as I do."  He crashes their mouths together, grabbing onto the broad shoulders in front of him, as Dean keeps a hand firmly pressed onto the desk and another up underneath the tight black waistcoat Castiel has on. 

They grunt and moan and shout, paying no mind to the costumers just down the hallway from his office, leaving that responsibility to Jo at the front desk.  She just turns up the radio and prays that it, along with the noises of the people working in the garage drown out the pornographic sounds happening in the room behind her.

Castiel throws his head back in ecstasy, "Oh, God, yes! Yes! Dean!"

"Castiel!"

Dean shouts his angel's name, and they both come, shuddering into each other's embrace.  Afterwards they hold on, stroking one another's backs and catching their breath as they softly kiss for several minutes. 

Dean, every time, says, "Cas, If you ever get your own office at that damn school, we're fucking in it.  You owe me." 

Castiel smiles, beaming with the pride of victory and still flushed from sex, as he strokes Dean's hair.  "As you wish, Dean."  He means it, but if he can continue to tease Dean, getting him back for years of torment, he will. 

"Mmm, bad teacher."  Dean murmurs as the two kiss, chuckling into each other's mouths.

 

*****

Castiel and Dean got married only a few months after they moved in together.  They planned a trip up to Canada for a small ceremony.  However, it turned into quite the ordeal once Castiel's huge family caught wind of it, along with Dean's old friends from his modeling days.  Neither Castiel or Dean wanted anything to do with planning a big-ass wedding, so they left it up to Anna and Jess, who jumped at the chance, and ended up getting along famously with each other.  They put together a grand wedding in a huge church, Dean wore black and Castiel wore white, they kissed at the altar, and the huge crowd cheered for them.  Sam totally cried, but he won't admit it.

The reception was nothing but burgers, cake, and pies as far as the eye could see.  The DJ played classic rock that everyone danced too; Gabriel glued to the hot models, and the hot models glued to Balthazar.  Dean and Cas slow danced to every song, despite the tempo. 

The wedding garnered quite a lot of publicity, but neither paid any mind.

The newlyweds took a long overdue trip to Jamaica for their honeymoon.  They, naturally, had nearly constant sex in the hotel suite, stopping only to go to the beach and have more sex in a secluded area they found.   Castiel's mind harkened back to that commercial featuring Dean rolling around naked in the sand, and he grinned, knowing that now he was living that fantasy, and all of his others.

Every morning Castiel wakes up next to Dean Winchester, and every day is the best day of his life. 


End file.
